v Page 3080 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Town Offers To Rename Itself "Stephen Strasburg"
Via Darren Rovell, the town of Strasburg, Va., will rename itself Stephen Strasburg, if he just makes a visit sometime this year. Hey, it put Hitler, North Dakota on the map. [RenameStrasburg.com]...

Minor Leaguer Incites Bench-Clearing Brawl In Middle Of Home Run Trot
The website that tracks the slowest HR trots may have found a new record that might never be broken. It is definitely much harder to finish your stroll around the bases when you're being attacked by the other team....

Read Two Smart Fellows Completely Dismantle A Sports Guy Column
Slate's Josh Levin and Tom Scocca had themselves a nice chat about Bill Simmons's latest, an NBA Finals Preview. Spoilers: They aren't fans. [Scocca]...

Premiership Team Unveils New Uniform Via Terrified Forced Striptease
Everton premiered their new away kit by having midfielder Jack Rodwell strip down to it. The backdrop, music and his expression make it look nothing so much like he's been sold into sex slavery....

LeBron Watch, Day 14: The Most Hated Man in Cleveland Sports History?
With Chicago and New York salivating over the prospects of LeBron's arrival, Cleveland weighs what happens if he goes. Let's just say Art Modell's got some competition now....

Here's The Awesome Catch No One Is Talking About Today
In the top of the ninth of Armando Galarraga's fairly routine, ho-hum, complete-game one-hitter, Mark Grudzielanek smacked a ball deep to left-center. Austin Jackson was there with a Willie Mays impression, and history was preserved for Jim Joyce to fuck up. [MLB]...

Perhaps The Most Fascinating "Imperfect Game" Reaction You'll See
A West Virginia man, dipping and wearing short shorts, watches the ninth inning of Armando Galarraga's masterpiece with his young children. Hilarity ensues....

The World Cup Of Also-Ran "Nations"
Want to play in the World Cup, but the international community won't recognize your country as an independent nation? Enter the Viva World Cup, starring such luminaries as Kurdistan, Greenland, and the Kingdom of the Two Sicilies. [WSJ]...

Darren Sharper-Visanthe Shiancoe Feud Elevated To "You're A Terrorist" Level
Now that Visanthe Shiancoe has posted this picture linking Darren Sharper to Osama bin Laden, the two NFL "rivals" are officially in the dumbest Twitter fight ever....

So We Come To The End Of Ken Griffey Jr.
The Mariners have finally informed Ken Griffey Jr. that he retired from baseball nine months ago. Your lamentations of lost youth just excused themselves to send a wistful email to your yearnings for childlike wonder. [ESPN]...

Cover-Band Drummer Is Far Too Intense For A Cover-Band Drummer
Click to view If there's one thing more embarrassing than being in a cover band that wears matching gold blazers, it's being the overly intense drummer for a cover band that wears matching gold blazers. Sharp-dressed men, indeed. H/T Brad....

Goalie Booms 80-Yard Free Kick, Scores Goal
For your viewing pleasure, we present Lassi Hurskainen, a former UNC Asheville soccer player currently toiling in the Finnish minor leagues for division-leading Riverball FC, absolutely nailing the indirect free kick and catching his counterpart absurdly off-guard. [Goal; H/T Kenny]...

Louis Vuitton Build Posh House For World Cup Trophy
This year's increasingly lavish World Cup took another step towards ascending to cross-branding nirvana yesterday as Naomi Campbell unveiled the custom-made Louis Vuitton trunk which will be a comfy home to the World Cup trophy for at least the next month....

Dario Franchitti Shows Off His Trophy, Wife
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Trivial Pursuit Creator Goes To Wheel Hub In The Sky
Chris Haney, the Canadian photographer who invented Trivial Pursuit, passed away at the age of 59. So that's who to blame for all those times you needed an orange pie piece and got stuck with a question about mixology. [Globe&Mail]...

LeBron Goes On <em>Larry King</em>, Says Cleveland Has An Edge, Whatever That Means
LeBron James had a conversation with a confused old man and agreed that Cleveland has an "edge" as regards his impending free agency. In response, Larry King farted quietly into his diaper. [CNN, photo via @kingsthings]...

Intern Horrors: A Reds Broadcaster Does His Best To Ruin Eric Davis Bobblehead Night
Welcome back to Intern Horrors, a weekly feature in which interns (and the people who hire them) get to complain. Today, there's a Cincinnati Red showing his true colors (it's envy!), a desk befouled, the depths of desperation, and our first badtern....

Dennis Hopper Played <em>Hoosiers</em> Alcoholic By Spinning In A Chair
So says Maris Valainis, who played Jimmy Chitwood. So Shooter wasn't actually drunk? Next you're gonna tell me the bad guys' team wasn't really full of black kids. (Oh wait, it wasn't.) [Dan Patrick Show]...

Extravagantly Choreographed Marriage Proposal Hits The Internet
Here's a painfully adorable marriage proposal in Madison Square Park — complete with dance number, of course — because no human milestone can be reached any longer without someone making a viral video. [@richarddeitsch]...

Dan Patrick's Garish Yellow Man Purse Spotted At DMB Show (UPDATE)
One reader caught the Dave Matthews (Band) show at Hartford on Saturday night and had the good fortune of sitting near Patrick and his family, bobbing along to "Ants Marching" and the like. But, seriously, what's with the bag?...