v Page 3059 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Sex Boat Case Sails Off
It's a sad day when you can't take your rookie teammates out for a little Lake Minnetonka party with a bunch of whores. This goddamned Internet is invading everybody's privacy....

Leftovers: Sword of Damocles
• Sporting News: Reeves "consultant" job means Capers is out with Texans. [MSNBC] • White Sox acquire Javier Vazquez from Arizona for Orlando Hernandez, Luis Vizcaino and minor leaguer. That's the word on the street from Huggy Bear, anyway. [Dils] • Time Warner may sell Braves, or merge them with Am...

Year In Review: February
So we were thinking that, you know, the year is, like, almost over. All the magazines are doing year-in-review type stuff, so we figured, why should we be any different? Therefore, for the next 12 days, we will be looking back on each month on the calendar, pointing out the weird/important/amusing s...

Merry Christmas, I Hate You
Deadspin weekend impresario calls it "the perfect gift for that special someone on your list that you'd like to see commit suicide," and, as usual, we couldn't put it any better....

Year In Review: January
So we were thinking that, you know, the year is, like, almost over. All the magazines are doing year-in-review type stuff, so we figured, why should we be any different? Therefore, for the next 12 days, we will be looking back on each month on the calendar, pointing out the weird/important/amusing...

Leftovers: Days of Tiny Glory
• Tony Stewart's strange midget racing addiction. [I Like Racing] • Catch Me If You Can: Montgomery banned two years for doping. [Smart Guys Sports] • Obviously desperate Texans hire Dan Reeves as consultant. [Sporting Fools] • Who's on first? I don't know ... third base! Yankees want Nomar play to ...

Mark Cuban Would Like To Help You Wipe
Though this seems like more of a project for those crazy Maloof brothers in Sacramento, we nevertheless support Mavericks owner Mark Cuban's newest venture: An investment in toilet seat company "The Brondell Swash."...

Leftovers: Welcome Back, Roger?
• Yankees, Red Sox contact Clemens. Mass reports of NYT bestselling authors regurgitating but not releasing the vomit out their oral cavity. [Over The Monster] • Giants-Jets Stadium ... $1 billion and counting. [CBS 880] • Morris from Cards to Giants. Woo hoo! Wait, is that a good thing? [Baseball I...

Owens Has Plenty Of Time To Party
Tomorrow night, in Atlantic City, N.J. — "we're like Vegas, only, you know, with more cutoff T-shirts with "I'm With Stupid" printed on them" — former Eagles wide receiver Terrell Owens will celebrate his 32nd birthday. ESPN's Chris Mortensen reported that invitations were left in Eagles players' ...

Non-Chad Johnson TDs Suck
Instead of fining Chad Johnson for excessive touchdown celebrations, Paul Tagliabue should start fining Bengals who score TDs that aren't named Chad Johnson....

Setting The 1 o'clock Table...
• Chicago @ Pittsburgh. The Bears will be without safety Mike Brown and starting right guard Terrence Metcalf. Pittsburgh will be without any healthy joints on their starting quarterback. And can someone explain to me why Pittsburgh is a 6-point favorite here? • Indianapolis @ Jacksonville. Many p...

Is there any chance Vince Young wins this thing?
I really don't see it. The only outside chance Young has is if somehow, Leinart and Bush split the west coast votes, and that the east coast bias is far more powerful than any of us think. Actually, that wouldn't even work. It would have to be a Texas bias, or just an outright west coast hatred....

An all-around ugly day for Texas
The black jerseys, the blowout against Duke... and it's probably not going to get better when Vince Young comes up short this evening. Sorry fellas. More poetry......

#1 vs #2
As a salute to J.J. Redick, all of today's posts about the Duke/Texas game will be in poetry form. You may not know this about me, but I consider myself a master of the limerick....

Week In Deadspin: Time For A Weekend Shindig!
• Clinton Portis can change your life, if you'll just let him in. • Michael Irvin, as you've often seen him before! • Luke Walton can't get anything free in this world. • Honestly, we think we could get Anna Benson to promote Deadspin merchandise right now, and for free. As long as the T-shirts w...

Leftovers: Big People Doing Things
• Shaq sworn in as cop. Great idea — what could possibly go wrong? [WKYT] • Bears fined $50,000 each for fight, also must put several quarters in swear jar. [CBS Sportsline] • Big Hurt heading for Oakland? (That's not a seasonal prediction; we're referring to Frank Thomas). [Chicagoist] • Soriano sa...

Hey, Mark? Fat Ankles Will Be The Least Of Her Problems
From the newest edition of Playboy magazine, via the New York Post:...

Carnival Of The NHL, No. 15!
As mentioned, earlier this week, we were cordially invited to host the weekly/bi-weekly Carnival Of The NHL, which we were honored to do, mainly because we need to brush up on our hockey, a sport we struggle with sometimes because the Cardinals don't play it....

Athlete Run-In: Julian Tavarez's Rocket Arm
Today's first athlete run-in story is about one of our favorite insane athletes, (former) Cardinals reliever Julian Tavarez, a guy just crazy enough not only to break his hand punching a phone in a playoff game, but then come out the next night and try to catch a comebacker with that very same han...

Leftovers: NBA Fashion Edition
• NBA Union files grievance over fines for length of players' shorts. This will end up in the Supreme Court, we're sure. [ESPN] • Gene Keady to coach Toronto Raptors. His combover will stay in retirement, however. [Purdue Exponent] • You are snubbed once again — Bush, Leinart, Young named as Heisman...