Merry Christmas, I Hate You

Deadspin weekend impresario calls it "the perfect gift for that special someone on your list that you'd like to see commit suicide," and, as usual, we couldn't put it any better.

Presenting the talking Dick Vitale alarm clock, which will wake you up — repeat: wake you up — with one of 14 different Dick Vitale sayings. It's $24.99, plus shipping.

In most courts, buying this for a child is enough to make any court take custody away. Oh, and then shoot the parent.

Here's The Perfect Gift ... [The Mighty MJD]

(Update: We're informed our boy MJD was not the first guy to find this.)