var Page 22 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Canelo Álvarez Withdraws From His Rematch With GGG
After a positive drug test for a performance-enhancing substance, Canelo Álvarez has officially withdrawn from his May 5 rematch with unified middleweight champion Gennady Golovkin, whom he fought to a controversial draw last September....
Canelo Álvarez <em></em>Temporarily Suspended For Tainted-Meat Drug Tests
After two weeks of reviewing his purportedly tainted-meat induced positive drug tests, the Nevada State Athletic Commission temporarily suspended Canelo Álvarez just over a month ahead of his upcoming rematch with middleweight champion Gennady Golovkin....
FIFA Agrees To Infect This Summer's World Cup With Video Replay
We’ve made the case time and again for why VAR, soccer’s video replay system, sucks ass. Apparently our cries for sanity have fallen on deaf ears, because reports say the chuckleheads at FIFA have just agreed to inflict VAR upon the upcoming World Cup in Russia....
Harvard Owned By Clumsy Referee
It’s a good thing nobody really gives a shit about the NIT tournament or has any capacity to feel sympathy for people who go to Harvard, otherwise we might have a real college basketball scandal on our hands....
It Was Unfair Harvard Had To Play At Penn’s Home Gym In The Ivy League Basketball Tournament. Good.
The Ivy League used to have a perfect setup. The eight schools would play a full home-and-home round robin in men’s and women’s basketball. The team with the best record would win the league’s automatic bid to the NCAA tournament. If there was a tie, the teams would meet on a neutral court. One year...
Cornell Player Kills Bee During Ivy League Basketball Tournament Game
There was a buzz at the Palestra yesterday....
Canelo Álvarez Blames Tainted Meat For Positive Drug Test
Golden Boy Promotions announced today that Canelo Álvarez tested positive for clenbuterol last month. The Mexican fighter gave two urine samples to the Voluntary Anti-Doping Association on Feb. 17 and 20, both of which came back positive for the banned substance. Álvarez’s team blamed the result on ...
Report: Donald Trump Didn't Actually Do Anything To Free UCLA Players Detained In China
Remember when Donald Trump made a big stink about he personally liberated three UCLA basketball players who were arrested for shoplifting in China? According to a new report from ESPN, Trump didn’t actually do shit....
Jonathan Martin Taken Into Custody After Threatening Instagram Post Causes High School To Close
Los Angeles prep school Harvard-Westlake closed both its campuses this afternoon after former NFL offensive lineman and Harvard-Westlake alum Jonathan Martin tagged the school in an Instagram post, in which he made threats against those he said bullied him. The photo included a gun and shells on a b...
Video Replay Thwarted When Flag-Waving Fan Blocks Camera
Video replay in soccer, as in all sports, sucks. This is true mostly for philosophical reasons, but also for logistical ones, too. Like when this Boavista fan inadvertently boned their own team by waving a huge flag that blocked the camera angle that probably would’ve invalidated the opponent’s goal...
Random-Ass Lithuania Will Host Lonzo Ball's First Ever Rap Concert Performance
The List of Future LaVar Ball Headlines did not predict this one: per an appearance during his father’s bit in a Lithuanian awards ceremony, Lonzo Ball will perform his first ever rap concert in Lithuania during the summer of 2018. Soon they are going to just rename Lithuania “Balluania” and get it ...
Climate, Plague, And The Fall Of The Roman Empire
The Roman Empire in the west fell for a great many reasons. We could cite a lengthy series of breakdowns in its political structures, feckless leadership by a series of child-emperors and self-interested court officials, and aggressive and opportunistic barbarian groups. As the Empire fell apart, th...
The Islanders Got Hilariously Outshot And Still Won
The Montreal Canadiens got 56 shots on goal against goalie Thomas Greiss and the New York Islanders. On the defensive end, they only gave up 24 shots. Somehow, they still couldn’t win, as a John Tavares overtime goal and a truly dreadful performance from Carey Price handed Montreal a 5-4 loss in rid...
Lakers Owner Jeanie Buss Offers Some Public Support For Luke Walton
Apparently spurred by Brian Windhorst linking the Lakers to David Fizdale as an eventual Luke Walton replacement, via a connection between Fizdale and LeBron James, the Lakers have finally offered an endorsement of Walton, such as it is:...
ESPN: It's Bad That We Keep Squeezing Juicy Quotes Out Of LaVar Ball<em></em><em></em>
“There’s always oxygen somewhere,” reads an article on ESPN.com this morning, criticizing the Los Angeles Lakers’ front-office muckety-mucks for their radio silence on the antics of hot-taking sports dad LaVar Ball, “and a firebrand like Ball will always find it.” This seems a bit rich, coming from ...
Steve Kerr On LaVar Ball Coverage: "If You Package That Irrational Nonsense With Glitter And Some Ribbon, People Are Going To Watch"
If you found Mavericks head coach Rick Carlisle’s assessment of ESPN’s LaVar Ball coverage today underwhelming—essentially, The network should not print his opinions because he dares to criticize a coach—then here is something more nuanced and persuasive on the topic, from Golden State Warriors head...
The Better Business Bureau Giving Big Baller Brand An "F" Doesn't Mean Anything<em></em>
As noted by ESPN, Business Insider, Sports Illustrated, CBS Sports, SB Nation, the New York Daily News, TMZ Sports, Yahoo Sports, Fansided, For The Win, and Bleacher Report, among others, the Better Business Bureau has awarded LaVar Ball’s Big Baller Brand an F for poor customer service. LaVar Ball,...
We Saved Everyone Some Trouble And Wrote All The Future LaVar Ball Headlines
It only took one half of one Lakers season for LaVar Ball to do what he does best—try to undermine the coaching staff of one of his son’s teams. His inability to let anyone other than himself be in charge of any team with any of his sons on it has already derailed a high school team, UCLA, and Vytau...
Rick Carlisle Needs To Chill
Mavericks head coach Rick Carlisle, who is also the president of the NBA’s Coaches Association, is fed up with ESPN giving crazy sports dad LaVar Ball so much space to express himself. Everyone is tired of LaVar Ball because he’s annoying and stupid, but Carlisle’s reasons for being angry are not go...
Luke Walton Jokes He Took Out Lonzo Ball Because "His Dad Was Talking Shit"
The Lakers got to end their nine-game losing streak Sunday night by treating the Hawks like the punching bags they are, but the longer-term and more important story in Los Angeles is the Ball family’s undermining of head coach Luke Walton. First, during the losing streak, LaVar said from all the way...