w Page 4904 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

America's Most Distracted Team Still Wins NFC East
Somehow this loss is all Antonio Pierce's fault. But even though the Giants were pushed around by the revitalized Iggles, they were still NFC East champions at the end of the day. The best highlight from yesterday's 20-14 loss from a Giants perspective was Tom Coughlin's joyous sprint down the sidel...

College Football Roundup: The Big 12 Meets the SEC
It's Oklahoma and Florida for the BCS Title—an imperfect end to a season when no football team was perfect. Except, you know, Utah and Boise State. But they don't really count. What with their small conferences and even smaller media markets and exposure. The BCS is fair and impartial. Except, you ...

This Must Be Some Sort Of Mistake
I see the words that have been hastily scrawled with Magic Marker on this sweat-soaked towel, but I'm not sure I understand what they mean. It seems to imply that the Cardinals are in fact the NFC West Division champions. The Arizona Cardinals? The football team? Whatever! (Let the record show that ...

The Cultural Evolution of Brian Collins' Unwanted Catchphrase Continues
Via World of Isaac:...

Another Alternate Erin Andrews Grip
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch while Meshach Taylor pops out of your mouth......

FOX Broadcasts Some Viking Locker Room Dong
Thanks to everyone that sent us pics of this. It's hard to get emotional about Vikings head Brad Childress' son going into the Marines when there's all this flaccid black cock staring me in the face. Pretty sure Heidi Klum has the same problem when she's taping Project Runway, but we're getting off-...

For Your Viewing Pleasure
• 1:00 — Bowling: Lumber Liquidators PBA Tour Is there something with those 80s-ish PBA commercials on ESPN that I just don't get? Big hair and tight pants don't exactly inspire me to watch bowling on TV. Even if I do get to wear my own shoes. [ESPN]...

Pacman Destroys A Listless De La Hoya
Manny Pacquiao completely dismantled Oscar de la Hoya from the opening bell until the match was halted after eight rounds of boxing in Las Vegas. There really isn't a whole lot to say, because Oscar simply did not show up for this fight. Pacman, the undisputed pound-for-pound champion of the world,...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch while packing your bags for Fantasy Heist camp......

For Your Viewing Pleasure
• NOON — CFB: Army vs. Navy, CBS. Pittsburgh at UConn, ESPN. East Carolina at Tulsa, ESPN2. NCAA Division II Semi-Final, ESPN Classic....

Free Darko Stutter-Steps The Universe, Don't You Know?
Shame on me. I have neglected to plug Free Darko's "The Macrophenomenal Pro Basketball Almanac: Styles, Stats, and Stars in Today's Game.." But I encourage all of youwho enjoy their sports books stuffed with the type of illustrations and freewheeling batshit basketball ephemera that will rock the bo...

Ax Drops At Sports Illustrated; Layoff Rumors Include Hoffer, Wolff ... And Dr. Z?
The massive layoffs that had been hanging over five magazine groups at Time Inc. have come to fruition, and as promised in the infamous Nov. 10 layoff memo, one of the hardest-hit was Sports Illustrated. Rumored to be among those leaving — and not of their own accord — are senior writer Richard Hoff...

Federal Judge Blocks NFL Suspensions
Have you made your NFL picks for this weekend? (Just for fun! No money, right?) You might want to hold off on a couple of those games, since a few of the rosters won't be finalized until a judge makes up his mind about the suspensions of the six players who received four-game bans for using an illeg...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch while you enjoy a tasty vending machine pizza ......

ESPN's Featured Comment Of The Week
Each day ESPN sifts through its finest reader comments, and chooses the most enlightening example to feature on its home page. This is one of those comments....

How To Find A Doctor To Treat Your Secret Bullet Wound
You thought you could get through today without a Plaxico story! Silly! This one is a nice change of pace though, because it's not about tow trucks or angry mayors. It's about a website that allows patients to anonymously rate their doctors and provide little comments about their services—and it jus...

Bottoms Up, Hawkeyes: Ruminations On Metrodome Bathroom Sex, Plus, How To Make A Bull Gator
Time for another edition of Waxing Off, the feature born of that venerable site The Black Table and carried over here and given a sporty new coat of paint. This week we've asked five talented female writers to ruminate on: Lois Feldman and the Iowa Hawkeye Metrodome Sexcapade....

How The Gruden Stole Christmas
So are we pretty much agreed that the Big Three in Christmas specials are The Grinch, Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer and A Charlie Brown Christmas? (Apologies to Will Leitch). Well, one of these will not be seen in the Tampa Bay area as scheduled on Monday, as ABC is pre-empting A Charlie Brown Chri...

Deadspin Deleted Scenes: The One With Sean Avery's Dildo Problem
We get a massive amount of tips in our inbox each week. Some are pretty interesting, but don't get published for one reason or another - usually because they're just so absurd or really lack even the most tenuous of news angles to give them the go-ahead. Other times it's because they're just absolut...