w Page 4904 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Last Night's Winner: JaMarcus Russell's Adipose Tissue
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like the 300-some pounds JaMarcus Russell was said to be carrying, and which the newly released quarterback will now be carrying out of Oakland....

Derek Jeter Says: Always Use Protection, Kids
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Lawrence Taylor's Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day
Since this morning, the age on LT's alleged prostitute has been bumped from 15 to 16, and he's no longer accused of beating her (her pimp is). Do these revelations make things better? No, they do not....

Indians Announcer Goes On Epic Indians Rant On The Indians' Network
Bruce Drennan has had it up to here with the Indians' poor play this season. Yesterday, he decided to go through his scoresheet and give each player an equal-opportunity ripping, looking like a Don Rickles-Gilbert Gottfried hybrid in the process. [WFNY]...

Perfect Gentlemen: My Lovely Night With Lawrence Taylor
This is a new series called "Perfect Gentlemen," wherein we feature stories from women (or men!) who've gone out on dates with professional athletes and had altogether positive experiences. Unfortunately, today's installment features Lawrence Taylor....

Let's Give Tebow A Nickname!
Page 2 held a write-in contest to come up with a nickname for best-selling NFL jersey owner Tim Tebow. They have standards and censorship. We do not. We think our commenters can do a little better. [ESPN]...

Ernie Harwell's Wounded Soul
Tiger broadcaster Ernie Harwell passed away Tuesday. Longtime fan and author Peter Hyman suggests his last decade of suffering wasn't entirely health-related....

Look, They Made Soccer Fun!
Perhaps the Scottish Premier League isn't the best quality of play, but Motherwell's four goals in the last 25 minutes to salvage a 6-6 draw — with a Europa League spot on the line — still makes for a classic match....

This Lawrence Taylor Story Is Going To Get Real Ugly, Real Fast
Taylor is charged with beating and raping a 16-year-old girl overnight. He's currently in jail, awaiting his arraignment. A press conference is scheduled for this afternoon. [AnimalNY]...

The Freak-Out Over LeBron's Elbow Begins Now
Ball in Europe, citing a source close to the Cavs: "Apparently, the damage is enough that the right arm of King James ... is having great difficulty in carrying anything heavier than a basketball." The hopes of a city, for instance. [BallinEurope.com]...

Last Night's Winner: Eric Byrnes's New Softball Team
In sports, everyone is a winner - some people just win better than others. Like a California beer league softball team, which will have the services of the former major leaguer, without having to pick up that $11m contract....

Lawrence Taylor... Accused Of Rape
"Taylor, 51, was taken into custody by the Town of Ramapo police after being accused of raping someone in the Holiday Inn Holidome Hotel in Suffern."[CBS]...

This T-Shirt Is Not Torn And Frayed: Got Drunk, Got High, Got Tasered
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day...

Patriots Stand Up Middle Schoolers
A Connecticut middle school won the opportunity to work out with Patriots players. They received a visit from a team intern, and some exercise videos....

When Golf Meets Cliff Diving
A New Zealand man fell 100 feet off a cliff while looking for his golf ball yesterday. Looks like someone read that article on how valuable lost balls are. [New Zealand Herald]...

The Ohio State Continues The <em>Glee</em>-ification of America
Reader Dave sends in this video of a flash mob taking over the Ohio Union on Monday. When are people going to learn that extravagant, coordinated routines of obnoxious songs only belong on the NYC Subways?...

Gabrielle Union Got It On In Front Of Dwyane Wade's Kids
That's according to a lawsuit filed by Wade's estranged wife, which he calls "baseless." Because, c'mon, who hasn't had stepmom fantasies about Gabrielle Union? Wait, what was I talking about?...

Abbey Clancy Makes Her World Cup Prediction…
For those of you who prefer not to waste valuable shopping time reading up on the latest football relationships, Abbey Clancy is the lucky model who has long been on the receiving end of Peter Crouch's deep midnight kisses....

Ernie Harwell's Baseball, In His Own Words
Go read Harwell's 1981 Hall of Fame induction speech, featuring his oft-told poetic definition of the game that was written in 1955, but still holds true today. [Baseball Almanac]...

Last Night's Winner: Philadelphia Bloodlust
In sports, everyone is a winner - some people just win better than others. Like Philly's desire to Taser this copycat attention whore who ran onto the field, which is actually better than he deserves....