w Page 4913 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Red Wings Fan Attempts To Jinx Penguins With Lions Shirt; Results Predictable
Red Wings fan Rick Finn here decided his team needed a little something extra going into last night's showdown with the Penguins, so he hatched an ingenious plan. He had an opportunity to pose with the Stanley Cup in Traverse City, Mich., on Labor Day, and decided to try and put a hex on Sidney Cros...
The World Cup Is Closer Than You Think
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject : Morning crap This unknown player for one of Turkey's national soccer teams (its World Cup roster lists Semih Şentürk, 25, a striker, as No. 9) can't be worried about FIFA politics; he's involve...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch while you get choked up over a damn space robot ... • College Football: Ball State Cardinals at Miami Red Hawks (7:00 p.m., ET) I still think PCs are better than MACs. [ESPN2] • Cards: World Series Of Poker, Final Table (9:00 p.m., ET) I wonder who wins? [ESPN] • Movie: "Midway" (8:00 ...
Piazza Convinces Publisher That His Life Story Is Entertainingly Heterosexual
One of my good friends from high school had the opportunity to work out with the Dodgers during spring training in the mid-90s. He said the experience in the locker room was memorable because Ramon Martinez swung his penis around like a gangster's pocket watch and that Mike Piazza had the most disgu...
The Patriots Public Relations Department Has Had a Busy Week
Poor Stacey James. Fresh off of the Caitlin Davis fiasco from last week, the Patriots executive director of PR has found himself answering more uncomfortable questions about persons loosely affiliated with the team. This week, it's Marblehead High School Coach, Doug Chernovetz (pictured), who was aw...
Yep, That's A Late Hit
Crowd noise can be a problem when you're on the road, but sometimes it affects the home team as well. Like when you're blitzing the quarterback and you don't hear the refs blow the play dead and suddenly you find yourself "unabated to the quarterback." And then, maybe you break his collarbone. It h...
Barack Obama Will Not Take Away Your Ties Or Your Hair
I don't remember where I saw it, but about a year-and-a-half ago, in one of those "Hey, there's a cool black guy running for President!" stories, the writer posited that Barack Obama, if he were to somehow win (crazy!), would have something immediately in common with John F. Kennedy: He could destro...
ESPN Creates Poker Drama, Then Spoils It For Everyone
ESPN has spent months building up to tonight's broadcast of the final table of the World Series of Poker. They even convinced organizers to take an unprecedented 117-day break before settling the final table so that they could broadcast a "plausibly live" show tonight, just hours after the champion ...
Saying Farewell To The Tuba Man
Seattle is known for its characters, from the guy who waited in line outdoors for four months to see one of the Star Wars prequels, to artists who create giant freeway trolls, the city has always embraced the odd and the colorful. But one of those unique voices has been silenced, sadly. I used to se...
Obama Received No Mandate In Death Valley
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject : Morning crap Lest we think that LSU fans were totally focused on hating Nick Saban and Alabama this past Saturday, please remember that The Pelican State is also very red. Can a lone fan cry ou...
Ha! I Can Never Be Tackl ... Ohhh, Mommy!
This youngster here is obviously a fan of the classic, straight-ahead running style of now-retired Dolphins running back Larry Csonka. Ouch. I should have listened to mom when she suggested beginning golf. The question is, which hit was bigger: This one, or the one levied by the Eagles' Chris Goc...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch while you try in vain to return that broken eyePod ... • NCAA Basketball: Presbyterian Blue Hose at Duke Blue Devils (7:00 p.m., ET) Devils vs. an entire religion? I like those odds. [ESPNU] • NFL: Monday Night Football: San Francisco 49ers at Arizona Cardinals (8:30 p.m., ET) Pro foot...
Five Holes-In-One In One Week: Shenanigans?
My grandpa averaged about two rounds of golf a week for close to thirty years and one time, when he was in his late sixties, he finally nailed a hole-in-one. It was a pretty big deal, as most things are when you wait most of your adult life for them to happen. He got a trophy and everything. So it's...
The Continuing Saga of One Online MMA Community and an Angry Martial Artist Pestering Rick Chandler
A little less than a month ago, you may remember the story about MMA fighter Lloyd Irvin and how he disarmed an intruder at his family's home using a fancy sambo technique. In the initial post that Rick wrote, he was skeptical about the report, which resulted in a few testy email exchanges with Mr. ...
Ron Zook: Pissing Intensity
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected] . Subject : Morning crap Unfortunately, all the gnashing, in-your-face, R.Lee Ermey-ness of this Zook moment wasn't enough to motivate his Illini squad on Saturday. The alma mater of the former floppy-ha...
To Watch Tonight: This (Almost) Concludes Our Broadcast Day
What to watch while preparing for a good night's sleep before your big Buttcrack Summit... • Something of a Theme: Beer for My Horses (7:00 pm ET) [CMT] and "Blue Collar Comedy Tour: One for the Road" (7:30 pm ET) [COM] - We may not have to hear The King's English all night. • Movie: The Cable Guy...
World Series of Poker Resuscitated by ESPN Cameras
ESPN's gambit to shut down the World Series of Poker for four months to give them time to pump up the nine participants at the final table (and position the final table action in a better time slot and month for them) seems to have paid off, with ratings up on the shows leading up to the main event'...
Speedo's Olympic Success Leads to Financial Dilemma for Universities
The theory of trickle-down economics got an Urban Dictionary-style redefinition after the Summer Olympics in August after watching approximately 312,847,708 world records mutilated in the Water Cube, thanks in large part to wearing new LZR Racer suits from Speedo. Now, of course, collegiate and high...
For Your Viewing Pleasure: Is This How You Kids Go Hawaiian?
• 12:00 — Biography: Donny and Marie Osmond [BIO] - "Well, you might like to hear some accordion; make that squeezebox swing." (This is our way to suggest that perhaps this is the day to clean out the eaves if you're not a fan of the football.) • 12:00 — Sport: Tennis - Sony Ericsson Championships, ...
Saturday Night Live Blog: #9 Oklahoma State at #2 Texas Tech
The Big XII has thirteen teams in the Top 10, and this is just another night in which two of them square off on a Saturday night. The undefeated Red Raiders get their second straight prime-time big game against the once-defeated Cowboys. Brent Musberger and Kirk Herbstreit brand cows with their init...