w Page 4923 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
About Last Night ...
What you missed while secretly reading your child's Harry Potter book in the basement ... Tiger Woods smooches British Open trophy, uses a little tongue. Top of the Tour, ma! Lance Armstrong increases overall lead. Royals, Tigers in ugly brawl. Ron Artest suspended just out of habit....
To Watch Tonight ...
What to watch as authorities string police tape across your porch ... Cardinals at Giants. Scenic panorama includes San Francisco Bay and the lovely BALCO Laboratories. PBA's Motel 6 Roll to Riches. What, you were expecting the Waldorf Astoria? Woman, I told you not to bother me during the PGA John ...
This Week In Weird Foreign Sports
We tend to find European sports terminology hilarious, mainly because it points to how equally absurd American sports terminology is. We all might know what "a blooper to shallow left" means, but to anyone not intimately familiar with baseball terminology, that's just nonsensical babbling. So here...
Scrappy Podsednik Upgrading In Lady Department
We've always liked Chicago White Sox outfielder Scott Podsednik. He's small, he's scrappy, he plays hard, he steals bases, he likes to get his uniform dirty in the way that fans always like white players to get their uniform dirty. But we always liked his understatedness the most: Nothing flashy, ...
Cuckolded Red Sox Scuffle
Controversy in Boston is nothing new, even when the Red Sox are coming off a World Series win. Outfielder Johnny Damon and soon-to-be-closer Curt Schilling have been having a minor scuffle, with Damon saying Schilling shouldn't be a closer and Schilling responding with, "Contrary to popular belief...
Yankees Promote The Bong
The Yankees have promoted former Mets pitcher Grant Roberts to their double A Trenton squad, which gives us the opportunity to gleefully run the above picture of Roberts, which ran in Newsday three years ago next month. Thank you, Yankees....
About Last Night ...
What you missed in your obsessive frenzy to make the world's largest ice cream sandwhich ... · U.S. pummels tiny, defenseless Carribean neighbor in Gold Cup soccer. · Baseball, softball axed from Olympics, joining former events tug-of-war (1900-1920) and club swinging (1932). · Yankees' Giambi nudge...
To Watch Tonight ...
Your TV pulls you from the real world with its flickering, hypnotic caress. Don't be afraid. · Indians at Yankees. This series is your last chance to see Derek Jeter until after the All-Star break. Poor dope. · ESPN Bowling Night. Yes, you're watching bowling on television. How sad is that? · PGA Jo...
About Last Night ...
What you missed due to the Cartoon Network's hastily scheduled Gumby marathon ... · Runtime Error: Jeter snubbed by online All-Star voters · Panama beats Colombia in Gold Cup soccer, as if you didn't know. · New Yorkers stunned, disoriented as Mets end Hernandez's 2 1/2-month win streak....
To Watch Tonight ...
What to watch as New York makes plans to get the 2040 Olympic Games ... · Cubs at Braves. Everyone expecting to play tonight take a step forward. Not so fast, Derek Lee. · WNBA All-Star Game: Courtside celebrities to include Jim Belushi, Frank Stallone. · Goooooooooo Gold Cup: Colombia vs. Panama at...
John Kerry's Worst Nightmare
If you're hanging around East Dublin, Georgia, this weekend — and if you are, be careful of all those disputes with the Irish Republican Army — you would be remiss not to drop by the 10th annual Summer Redneck Games. (We find it infinitely amusing that the event organizers have a Tripod site. We'r...
About Last Night ...
What you missed while transferring all your "White Shadow" episodes from VHS to DVD ... · Boston's Manny Ramirez just loves to show off with the bases loaded. · Horry, Spurs reach accord. Can world peace be far behind? · Healthy at last, Josh Beckett leads Marlins to ... no wait, he's hurt again....
To Watch Tonight ...
What to watch as Tom Cruise goes totally mental on some other channel ... · Mets at Nationals: Not our idea of a good time, but you go ahead and knock yourself out. · ESPN Chronicles: Bobby Knight. Parental Discretion Advised. · WNBA: Phoenix and San Antonio actually move around and set some picks....
About Last Night ...
What you missed while running down the street with your hair on fire and a sparkler stuck in your ass ... · Sprocket Man: Lance Armstrong sitting pretty after fourth stage of Tour de France. · Astros' Biggio passes a defenseless dead guy on all-time hit list. · Japanese man eats 49 hot dogs, and sad...
To Watch Tonight ...
What to watch as ... hey! Vladimir Putin stole the remote! · Operation Desert Snore: Giants at Diamondbacks. · Golf: Ask your doctor if the Cialis Western Open is right for you. · Trey Bien! WNBA Sacramento Monarchs at New York Liberty....
Jeter, A-Rod Exchanging Blows. This Time It's Not In A Gay Way
We were all waiting to see when Yankees gay icons Derek Jeter and Alex Rodriguez were going to finally have a lover's spat. According to Radar Online — who would know, we suppose — it happened last week. The report, attributed to a TV producer who apparently gives his/her scoops to Radar rather t...
Kraft Meant To Give The Ring All Along! Of course!
Patriots owner Robert Kraft now says that he meant to give Russian president Vladimir Putin his Super Bowl ring in the first place....
About Last Night ...
What you missed while picking up various items thrown by Kenny Rogers ... · Pride of Pawtucket: Schilling impressive in minor league rehab start · Biggio ouch! sets modern-day ow! baseball record Jesus, that hurts! · Braves, Marlins treat fans to 4 hours, 14 minutes of sweltering, error-plagued hell...
To Watch Tonight ...
What to watch as the melting ice cap slowly submerges your front yard ... · Yankees at Orioles. Torre gets by-the-hour rate at Hyatt Regency Baltimore. · Wimbledon not-so-live: How come no one ever calls each other "dawg" in tennis? · ESPN Classic: 1984 San Francisco 49ers. Come with us now to a tim...
He Should Have At Least Gotten Some Vodka Out Of It
Patriots owner Robert Kraft was out doing what huge capitalists do this week: Meeting with leaders of other countries and gladhanding them enough so they'll give them some free shit down the line. Kraft shook hands with Russian president Vladimir Putin and, to show off, handed Putin his Patriots ...