w Page 4923 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Phil Mushnick Does Not Want To Hear About Anyone's Testicles
"[Bill Raftery's] continued hollering of a crude crotch term after a big shot long ago should have ended, if not voluntarily, then on orders." Relatedly, in the same column, Mushnick professes to miss Billy Packer, who's a dick. [NYP]...

Today In Sports Endurance Achievements: Three-Minute Hockey Fight
Saturday, St. Louis Blues bruiser Cam Janssen and New Jersey Devil's welterweight Pierre-Luc "I Wasn't In Duran Duran" Letourneau-Leblond lethrew down during the first period. Three minutes later, they had become Übermensch. [Fan House; tunes by TV on the Radio]...

Soak Yourself In Deadspin's Spring Break Week (NSFW)
All week long Deadspin will be celebrating the phenomenon of American Spring Break. There's much to come, but for now, please watch this educational video put together by hairypalmed intern David Matthews, documenting the effects of water on cotton apparel....

Book Excerpt: "Confessions Of A Washed-Up Sportswriter," From <em>Rules Of The Game</em>
Today's excerpt comes from a 1968 essay by Gary Cartwright, anthologized in Harper's Magazine's new sportswriting anthology, Rules of the Game, which we highly recommend....

Tiger Woods Still Offends Some Women
"And maybe those amends Woods keeps talking about making might include helping to prove that women have a more meaningful place in the golf world than as groupies." [Salon] (PHOTO: Reader Greg U. from Fort Lauderdale Beach Hooters)...

Chicago Cubs: This Is The Golden Age
Will Leitch will be previewing/musing on every baseball team each weekday until the start of the season. You can pre-order his book and follow him on Twitter. Today: The Chicago Cubs....

Tebow Draft Rationalization Watch: The Rams Are Nothing If Not Efficient
As the NFL Draft approaches, many team fanbases stat nerds will attempt complex logical gymnastics to talk themselves into using a first-round pick on Florida quarterback Tim Tebow. Today: Numbers don't lie, dummy....

Let's Get All The Tiger Woods' "Masters Threesome" Jokes Out of the Way Now
USA Today's unavoidable weekend poll question: Who is best suited to play in Tiger's threesome at the Masters? "For pure theater, why not make Y.E. Yang part of the threesome?" Why not, indeed! [Thanks to Chris S.]...

Onions Win The Weekend
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like players who had the courage to take the big shot—no matter how ill-advised—and became heroes to small children everywhere. Don't you hate guys like that?...

Subliminal Telestrator Messages Get A Lot Less Subliminal
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

ESPN On Five-Minute Tiger Interview: "More Important For Us To Have No Restrictions"
ESPN decided that a short, tape-delayed interview with Tiger Woods near his mansion columns was better than no interview - and Lightning Round Tom Rinaldi was the first and obvious choice to conduct the interview, the WWL said....

Golf Channel Actually Asks Tiger Woods Tougher Softball Questions
Golf Channel's Kelly Tilghman actually asks better questions and introduces us to Tiger's magic pussy protector Buddhist bracelet he now wears to keep rooted. She also reveals Ari Fleischer is done working for Team Tiger. Big day for "Kell." [GolfChannelTranscript]...

Tiger Answers ESPN's Questions: "A Lot of Ugly Things Have Happened."
According to this press release, ESPN hand-picked Tom Rinaldi to sit down with Tiger Woods and ask the awkward questions about the golfer's super-sexual personal life for the WWL. Sports Business Journal's John Ourand has many of the details....

Jose Canseco, Always Known For Attention To Privacy
Canseco and his girlfriend (or split personality) are currently carrying out a spat on Twitter. I just want to know which one just called me "sweetie," because I'm a little turned on. [@josecanseco]...

Badger Badger Badger: Your 2:30ish Games Open Thread (VIDEO UPDATE)
GaTech-OSU, MSU-Maryland, Mizzou-West Virginia, and Cornell-Wisconsin tangle in the early afternoon slate. On pep rally photos alone, the smart money is with Wisconsin. (H/T to BoRyansBaldSpot for the photo)...

Orlando Unhealthily Obsessed With Dwight Howard's Technicals
Magic fans, and to a greater extent, the Orlando media, are consumed with the thought that the NBA is out to get Howard. This includes pestering the league office about overturning every single foul he picks up....

Villanova Got Poopshowered
In those heady hours before Ali Farokhmanesh, we only had Omar Samhan for our Middle Eastern American Mid-Major superhero. Thankfully, Samhan's YouTube fame endures thanks to his username: "poopshower." [SBNation]...

WVU Hotel Room Videos Are No Less Embarrassing Than A Sex Tape
Let's face it: even without a curfew, there's not a heck of a lot to do in Buffalo. But, confined to their hotel rooms, the Mountaineers are making the most of it, acting like teenage girls at a slumber party....

Yes, Kansas, Let Us Taste The Tears Of Unfathomable Sadness
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....