w Page 4970 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
ESPN's Featured Comment Of The Day
ESPN scoured its message boards this morning to find its cleverest, boldest, most enlightening comment, and chose this one above all others ......
Marlins Break Brandon Webb's Evil Spell
Somewhere in a third-world country, a child is wearing a Brandon Webb 10-0 t-shirt. It looks rather spiffy with his Patriots 19-0 Super Bowl hat, and his New Orleans Hornets foam No. 1 finger. To beat the most unbeatable of pitchers on Wednesday, Marlins manager Fredi Gonzalez called for the most de...
About Last Night
What you missed while incorrectly calling "shotgun" ... • NBA: Spurs blow 20-point lead in Game 1 loss to Lakers, also lose car keys and wallet. • MLB: Everything's coming up Red Sox ... Bartolo Colon is back, and pitching well. Boston 6, Kansas City 3. • Soccer: I don't know a lot about soccer, but...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch as you enjoy your $30 TV dinner ... • Boxing: Lightweights, Edner Cherry vs. Stevie Johnston; lightweights, Freddie Norwood vs. Johnnie Edwards, at Camp Lejeune, N.C. (9 p.m., ET). What? Isn't this a Marine Corps base? [ESPN2] • MLB: New York Mets at Atlanta (7 p.m., ET). Big Mets' res...
A Hump Day Viewer's Guide
Basketbawful can't make the Spurs-Lakers series new and interesting, but he can tell you what to watch out for when these two horror move monsters go head-to-head....
Bill Simmons Continues Passive-Aggressive Swipes At ESPN Via Blogspot
As fascinatingly silly as this whole Bill Simmons online temper tantrum is — plus the inevitable change of direction Page 2 must undertake should he no longer write for them — it's getting pretty hilarious how conspicous he's being about being pissed off at (supposedly) ESPN.com ....
Latina Mary Pickford, First Lady Of The Cagers
Slate's Robert Weintraub, like many of us, loves the old purple prose of early 1900s sportswriting, the Grantland Rices, the men who painted epic tales of warriors, grizzled combatants and lardywarks too manly to wear gloves. In an occasional series, Weintraub writes about the week's best baseball g...
Another Reason For Stern To Fix The Western Conference Finals
At this point, the adage that "David Stern doesn't want a Spurs-Pistons final" has become so commonplace as to become tired. But if you live in a world that pretends that Nielsen boxes actually mean anything — because no one's ever met anyone with a Nielsen box and you could track actual viewing pat...
The Knicks Already Have Danilo Gallinari Fever
Oh, boy, what a grand giggle we had last night when flipping through Chad Ford's mock draft. Sure, Knicks fans, you're ecstatic about having Isiah Thomas gone — though the rest of us, admit it, already miss him — and Mike D'Antoni promising to speed the game and make the team tolerable to watch. But...
Dazed And Confused
Oh, the carnage (covers eyes). Well that's it, there are no more indignities left. Following Tuesday's games, New York has seen them all. The Mets dropped a doubleheader to the Braves, featuring Ryan Church's attempt to break up a double play at second (Fail). Meanwhile, the Yankees lost to the Orio...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch after you drop off the kids at the bar ... • MLB: Chicago Cubs at Houston (8 p.m., ET). Don't be afraid to show your Cubness. [WGN] • NBA: Draft lottery, at Secaucus, N.J. (8 p.m., ET); Eastern Conference finals, Game 1, Detroit at Boston (8:30 p.m., ET). Your fate, decided by ping pon...
Breaking: Russia Years Ahead Of Us In Remote Control Flying Penis Technology
Garry Kasparov’s love-hate relationship with technology continued on Saturday, as the former World Chess Champion was buzzed by a remote controlled flying penis during a political speech in Moscow. As reported by Gizmodo yesterday, Kasparov seemed bemused by the brief encounter, which ended when an ...
Tonight, Ping Pong Balls Galore
It's the NBA Draft Lottery tonight, otherwise known as "we can't believe the Knicks didn't trade away their first round pick." If you get your jollies from doing mockups of ping pong balls bouncing around, Chad Ford, as always, has your back....
Could This Be The End For Our Pedro?
First off, all of you Mets fans who are saying "Pedro who?", just stop it. Pedro Martinez, who is on the verge of returning to New York's starting rotation, says that this season might well be his last. And you don't know it now, but you'll miss him when he's gone. Yes, you will....
Shocking New Developments In The Yankee Stadium Jinx Story
Viewers of MSNBC's Countdown are aware of host Keith Olbermann's scoop last night that a second Red Sox item is apparently buried somewhere beneath the concrete at the new Yankee Stadium. The same construction worker who buried a David Ortiz jersey in cement at the new stadium (which was dug up on A...
Use Your Urine To Kill Space Aliens
If you're like us, the art of urinating in a public restroom has become a rote, empty, stale ritual. We mean, come on: You just stand there. Where's the sport in that? Alas, we must now thank the fine people of Belgium for turning the act of urination into the competitive event we've all been beggin...
Charles Barkley Says He Will Stop Gambling, Starting ... NOW
Charles Barkley sat down with Ernie Johnson on the TNT set on Monday night before Game 7 of the Spurs-Hornets series, and declared before one and all that he is done with gambling. But for those wondering if the pledge will take, just watch the interview: It seemingly takes Charles only about a minu...
Ooof, Stars, That'll Leave a Mark
The NHL Closer is written by five checking-line centers from Melt Your Face Off. When we're not receiving praise for our work ethic, we're taking shots to kill the pain from blocking shots. Raskolnikov momentarily stopped playing along the boards to write this recap....
Back To The Future! (For The Spurs)
The NBA Closer is written by Matt McHale, who feels like he's watched Spurs-Lakers in the playoffs about a jillion times over the years. Or maybe it's just been Spurs-Whoever. When he's not misremembering his playoff history, he can be found mourning the death of the New Orleans dream at Basketbawfu...
Sir, You Seem To Have Something Stuck In Your Knee
The photo above was actually taken by the fella who was impaled by the javelin during a high school track and field event in Utah, which is just both admirable and completely cringe-worthy. Amazingly, Utah Standard-Examiner photog Ryan McGeeney required only 13 stitches to sew up the hole in his k...