w Page 5002 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
"Everything Stops When The Bobcats Play"
I've gone to four NBA games the last two seasons - courtesy of fellow Weekend Daddy Unsilent Majority's Verizon Center season tickets - and somehow three of them have involved the Bobcats. Despite that, I'm pretty sure I could count on one hand the number of Charlotte jerseys I've seen. Nevertheles...
Michael Turner Is Free To Be Mediocre
Erstwhile Chargers running back Michael Turner, best known to fantasy players as the guy you picked up in a late round in hopes that LaDainian Tomlinson would get injured (BUT NNNOOOOOO HE HAD TO WAIT FOR THE PLAYOFFS FOR THAT), got on the 6-year-deal train which seems so popular this off-season and...
The Ultimate Warrior Edition
The NBA Closer is written by Matt McHale, who thinks there's something morbidly fascinating about a guy who looks like he walked out of a Boris Vellejo painting and is also clinically insane....
The Editor-In-Chimp Is Here
Much of your human world continues to horrify and confuse me, most of all your bizarre construct of weekdays. The one you call Will has cast me into my Monday bondage by bludgeoning my mate to death with his advanced human weaponry. How ever did you concoct stick with a nail in it? Sadly, I am now i...
About Last Night...
What you missed while stocking up on Postum......
If Wilt's 100-Point Game Were Modernized
As we conclude another lazy "Baked Doritos and curling on TV" Sunday, we remember that 46 years ago was the night Wilt Chamberlain scored 100 points against the New York Knicks (snerk) in a game. And the Dayton Daily News poses a good question: how would it be covered today? Oh, there's nothing bett...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch while vomiting profusely ... • 7:00 p.m. — NCAA Basketball: Tennessee at Georgia. The perfect matchup to settle their border dispute. [ESPN2] • 8:00 p.m. — NBA: Nuggets at Rockets. How many teams do you know of that have won 14 straight games and nobody thinks they'll do anything in th...
Randy Moss's Lesser-Rumored Options
Assuming you don't believe MJD's theory that the Patriots already have a deal with Randy Moss and just want to see other teams twist in the wind, the rumors regarding Moss's next destination have been scattered and speculative. Randy Moss to Dallas. Randy Moss to the Giants. Randy Moss to the CFL, e...
Eric Byrnes Can Tolerate Men Staring At His Junk
We haven't heard much from Diamondbacks outfielder Eric Byrnes in the offseason, but we can only guarantee it was something EXTREME AND WHOLLY UNPREDICTABLE! ZIGGITY SWISH! He's back this year, and his Diamondbacks were among the first to be drug tested. Byrnes is absolutely comfortable with the pro...
Yankees-Red Sox Feud Reaches Depths Of A Free Hat
If you haven't been paying attention to Hank "Raul Castro" Steinbrenner's words about the Red Sox in the last few days, congratulations! You're officially aware of the 28 other teams of the league....
Kansas Fans Know What Erin Andrews Likes
Unquestioned, kind Kansas fan! Erin Andrews is a true professional who enjoys the game of college basketball. That's why she can be seen on various sidelines of notable games across the country, getting exclusive interviews with today's most prominent coaches and bringing viewers updates as the game...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch while hugging David Beckham and making headlines over it... • 8 p.m. — Division II basketball: CIAA championship, Fayettefille State vs. Johnson C. Smith. Sorry, your search for "johnson c. smith" in the Fayetteville State campus directory has returned 0 results. (0.46 seconds) [ESPN C...
Baron Davis Was Born To Roller Skate
Twenty two years ago, the Los Angeles Dodgers made a music video that could probably make Skip Bayless speechless. While my knowledge of what was hip back in 1986 might've escaped me — at the time, the more pressing question was why running into solid walls hurt my forehead — I can't imagine Orel He...
B! G! Won! Somehow!
Down goes Kent State! Down goes Kent State! The 23rd ranked Golden Flashes went into Bowling Green and lost 89-83, mainly because Brian Moten and Joe Jakubowski would love to dance with your dates. If you can believe it, Bowling Green basketball has won four straight games against ranked basketball ...
Don't Throw Water Bottles In The Desert
Storming the Floor mentioned this yesterday, and now we have the moving picture evidence of the water bottle heave during the Arizona-USC game on Thursday night....
John Wooden Falls, Will Get Up Soon
Okay, who left the Pyramid of Success out in the middle of the den for everyone to trip over? C'mon, one of you better fess up to this. Because now John Wooden took a pretty bad spill thanks to your irresponsibility....
Night Of The Killer Zamboni
• Help! I don't know how it works! • Bob Knight is an ESPN analyst! I see no way this can end badly. • The St. Louis Cardinals post that almost wasn't. • Canadian hockey players remind us that high school is supposed to be fun. • Will goes on a tropical island vacation, wakes up in the Scottish mili...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch to avoid hanging out with murderers ... • Boxing: Super middleweights, Allan "One-Arm" Green vs. Antwun "The Procrastinator" Echols, at Marksville, La., (9 p.m., ET) [ESPN2] • College basketball: NCAA Division II, Central Intercollegiate Athletic Association tournament semifinals at Ch...