w Page 5014 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Well, They Were Out Of Snausages
The suspect: Buddy, the black labrador. Crime: Chewing Super Bowl tickets. Last seen: Licking own privates. Other possible suspects: Rabid squirrel ... parakeet ... Roomba. Trial date: pending....

Just In Time For The Super Bowl: Strawberry Flavored Cheetos
Straight from the Will Leitch test kitchen Japan, get your mouth ready for the taste bud pants party that is Strawberry Flavored Cheetos! (Gagging sound). Poor Japan. Sure they kill whales, but do they deserve this kind of grief? They next thing you know we'll be stocking their shelves with Honey Bu...

Why Take A Home Game Away From The Saints?
The NFL announced yesterday that next year's Wembley Stadium in London game will be between the New Orleans Saints and the San Diego Chargers. This makes sense — perhaps we'll get a Reggie Bush giant robot — but we don't quite understand: Why are the Saints the home team?...

Fun With Stephen A. Smith Blog Comments
Our story so far: Stephen A. Smith started a blog, and then things got out of hand in the comments. So he heightened security; now requiring registration before one can comment. And that's a good thing, because now that all the jerks and racists are gone, all that remains is comedy gold....

Birdman Ready To Fly Again, This Time With Fewer Stimulants
It has only been two years, but still, a lot of people don't remember the maestro that was former Nugget and Hornet Chris Anderson. He's perhaps most famous for his performance in the slam dunk contest — Bill Simmons wrote, "Looking back, I think the best part was that he started off the contest by ...

Super Bowl Week Is Finally Here
So, friends, it begins. After the endless, man, are they having ANY sports this week? of the past seven days, it's time for Super Bowl XLII exhaustion. You can't say that ESPN doesn't have you covered. Heavens....

ESPN's Featured Comment Of The Day
ESPN scoured its message boards this morning to find its cleverest, boldest, most enlightening comment, and chose this one above all others ......

To Watch Tonight
What to watch after getting back from the local swimming pool ... • NHL: 56th All-Star Game live from Atlanta (6:00 p.m., ET). The crew at Melt Your Face-Off can't stop tapping their sticks on the boards! [VS.] • NBA: Denver at Dallas (6:30 p.m., ET). Uh-oh ... another nationally televised game for ...


Whoa! I Can't Even Tell Them Apart!
Tyler Pratt — um, pictured left — sent a photo of himself in to some Patriots look-alike contest saying people tell him he looks like Tom Brady. Apparently, Tyler Pratt works in a cave ... with blind people ... who are horrible fuckin' liars....

You Know, This Hornets Team Might Be Pretty Good
The NBA Closer is written by me, J.E. Skeets, high leader of The Moose. When I'm not busy scouring the box scores or part-time modeling, I can be heard on The Basketball Jones daily podcast talkin' shit and spittin' rhymes. Enjoy!...

About Last Night
What you missed while changing your Facebook status ... a lot ... • NHL: Ovechkin "strikes out" in SuperSkills' breakaway challenge. • NBA: Bzzzzzzz ... Hornets sting Spurs by 24 to take the top spot in the West. • Tennis: Djokovic imitates Djokovic winning the Australian Open....

Best. Super Bowl Party. Ever.
Um, I think we found our winner — and runner-up — for this year's best Super Bowl party. Seriously. If Will doesn't take a field trip to this ... well, I'll kill him. I don't care if he has a book....


To Watch Tonight
What to watch while you bake a cake in the shape of the moon blowing up ... • College Basketball: Georgetown at West Virginia (7 p.m., ET). Does Roy Hibbert laugh that sweet, infectious giggle every time he scores? [ESPN] • NHL: Skills competition and YoungStars game (7 p.m., ET). Skate, you stupid ...

So, Um, Yeah, About Last Night
What you missed while pissing mediocrity ... • NBA: Kobe's 40 not enough to beat Mavs. 48 would've done the trick though. • Golf: Tiger leads Buick by four-strokes at 12-under. *Silent pump fist* • Tennis: Sex sells ... and wins. Sharapova claims her third Grand Slam title with a 7-5, 6-3 victory ov...

Glug Glug Glug Glug
• Hey, the book came out. • Dana Jacobson got suspended, and then showed up in a fun picture. • Rick Majerus respects a woman's right to choose. • Who are the wizards who came up with this campaign? • Not the best way for Brett to go out. • Matt Hughes likes us. • Stephen A. Smith becomes the blogge...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch as you wax on and wax off ... • NBA: Orlando at Detroit (7 p.m., ET). My NBA hunger must be fed ... with blood. [ESPN] • Tennis: Australian Open, at Melbourne, women's championship (9:30 p.m., ET). Maria Sharapova vs. Ana Ivanovic. This is a dream matchup ... in my pants! [ESPN2] • Ext...

Where My Team Stands: New York Giants
We've asked a couple excellent writers who are fans of each Super Bowl team to talk about where their team stands going into next week's "Big" "Game." Next week will bring us Eric Gillin of Esquire.com on the Patriots, but today, it's Peter Schrager from FoxSports.com opining on his Giants. Enjoy....
