w Page 5015 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

NHL Sues To Force Coyotes To Fly US Airways
Phoenix has been losing money hand over fist, so the NHL wants them to cut expenses. First up: get rid of that fancy shmancy chartered plane, and start flying the red-headed stepchild of domestic airlines....

Soon We Will Know What Every Man, Woman and Child On Earth Thinks About Michael Vick
Your surest sign that the Vick signing is the perfect shitstorm of media in the perfect town for a media shitstorm? Everyone needed to know what Chase Utley's wife had to say about it....

Beer Tosser Confronts Those He's Wronged; Next, Victorino's Fist
Beer Chucker and Fall Guy finally tell their stories. Do they share a sweaty manhug and a tearful manpology? Does Chicago forgive them? Is Bartman on the hook again? [WGN] [Image: Cubbies Crib]...

Saints Fans Just Up And Forget How This Whole Ticket Thing Works Again
Can we go back to making fun of New Orleans fans again? Because I'd really like to, since thousands of them were turned away from the Saints' preseason opener after tearing the bar codes off their tickets....

This Haircut Was Probably Not Voluntary
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....

Iron Hammer to Coach Guangdong
Coach Lang Ping, who led U.S. women's volleyball to silver at the 2008 Beijing Olympics, has joined the previously unaccomplished Guangdong Hengda team. Lang, nicknamed the Iron Hammer, was a gold-medal player and silver-medal coach for China. [China Daily]...

Why Your Stadium Sucks: Safeco Field
This is a weekly feature in which I (and maybe you, too, readers) detail the various reasons for hating your ballpark. This week: The Seattle Mariners' Safeco Field....

The Worst American Sports Writing: Greg Bishop
On top of everything else Jets fans have to live with, they get a New York Times beat writer who seems to be trying to write scripts for NFL Films....

Meaningless Struggle: The Preseason Opener
Why do you watch preseason football? To prepare for hosting duties, I sat down last night to watch three of my least favorite things: 1. the Baltimore Ravens, 2. the Washington team, 3. an exhibition game....

The Worst American Sports Writing: Steve Yanda
Deadspin readers met Steve Yanda this week when he compared the Nationals' winning streak to Bach's Passacaglia and Fugue in C minor (the Nats have not won a game since). But Steve Yanda writes like that all the time....

U.S.A. on Road to Amputee-Sports Glory
The New York Times reports on the development of a new, potentially world-class American sprinter: Jerrod Fields, who lost his left foot and lower leg to an IED in Baghdad....

The Worst American Sports Writing: Gene Wojciechowski
Writing. About sports. Sometimes it is so terrible it can make you cry, cry like a child who has learned his heroes have feet of clay. "Feet" meaning "buttocks" and "of clay" meaning "shot full of Dianabol." Here's Gene Wojciechowski....

Southeast Missouri State Feels The NCAA's Sting
The NCAA has thrown the book at Southeast Missouri State basketball, vacating all their men's basketball wins from 2006-2008 because an assistant gave impermissible benefits to a player—by giving him a lift home to see his newborn baby....

Karen Sypher Opens Up To <i>New York Post</i>
When you're at the heart of a scandal—and everyone thinks you're crazy—who will listen to your side of the story? The New York Post will, so they've snagged a tell-all interview with Rick Pitino's dine-in lover....

Betts, Bettis ... Whatever It Takes
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap...

Adrian Beltre Goes On The DL With An OH GOD WHY OW OW OW
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Landon Donovan Has Swine Flu
And no, he didn't get it from being showered in urine and vomit by Mexican fans. But here's your excuse for yesterday's match result, Sam's Army. [FanNation]...

Which Version Of Madden Should Take Over Your Life?
If you're reading this from a line outside a 24-hour Wal-Mart, you've probably already made your choice, but if you're unsure which version of Madden 10 you should buy today, consider how you would most like waste your life....

JESUS FUCKING CHRIST
Apologies for taking the Lord's name in vain in the headline, readers, but this is some serious backchannel craziness the Eagles just pulled off. With all the possible destinations for Michael Vick, even in the strictly hypothetical, UFL sense.......

Mob Justice Prevails Again (UPDATE #3)
Sick of seeing his overly-manicured facial hair plastered up all over Chicago, the suspected Wrigley Field beer chucker has turned himself in. We'll stay with this story all night if we have to! God, I feel like Nancy Grace....