w Page 5033 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Hornets Cancel Dallas' Dynasty
Nobody can quite explain why the Hornets franchise has been unable to beat the Dallas Mavericks since 1999. Experts agree one factor might be that in those games, the Hornets were unable to score more points than the Mavericks. Others blame global warming. Others still claim that last night the Horn...
BCS Ups Dosage Of Crazy Pills
To all who believe that yesterday's BCS Holocaust is a firm sign that the NCAA needs a playoff system, then you can just watch the happy little Championship Subdivision and enjoy yourself some playoffs. To me, it's just yet another reason that this maniacal device of power conference destruction we ...
About Last Night ...
What you missed while stockpiling saving throws vs. cold for the upcoming snowstorms... • NCAA Football: Clusterfuckery reigns supreme as Missouri, West Virginia lose. • NCAA Basketball: Gonzaga beats Connecticut, returns back home to wherever the hell they're located. • Tennis: Well, looky, the Uni...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch while... *smoosh*... • 7:45 p.m. — NCAA Football: Pittsburgh at West Virginia. I can't imagine any disturbances occurring in Morgantown after the game, regardless of the outcome. [ESPN] • 8:00 p.m. — NCAA Football: Big XII Champeenship, Missouri vs. Oklahoma. It's mullet vs. saucepan. ...
High School Chess Team Cheats En Passant
Today's high school student-athletes face so many more distractions than yesteryear, even at the high school level: national media scrutiny, drugs, and pretty girls. Not so with chess players (such as the one pictured here — I believe this is a young Keith Olbermann) although they have it tough as w...
Even For The NHL, Byfuglien Is An Odd Name
• I'd Like To See Where These Hats You Speak Of Grow In Nature. By the time Dustin Byfuglien's reign of terror began over Phoenix, it was already 2-0 Blackhawks. And that's when his hat trick on consecutive goals occurred — in the first quarter. It was only 5-0 after one trimester, and the Hawks had...
A Wagon Fulla Channels? For The Champeenship?
• In Progress — MAC Championship: Central Michigan-Miami U. [ESPN2] • 12 noon — Army-Navy [CBS] • 12 noon — C-USA Championship: Central Florida-Tulsa [ESPN] • 12 noon — NCAA Basketball: Duke-Davidson [ESPNU] • 1 p.m. — ACC Championship: Boston College-Virginia Tech [ABC] • 1:30 p.m. — Movie: Jingle ...
Lou Holtz - 60 Years = Jason Krause
Last night, Lou Holtz broke ground on his little game of Dress-Up by crossing borders to The Association and giving a pep talk to the Knicks as if he were Isiah Thomas ... wearing a Knicks jersey. It might not be too far-fetched if something in Thomas's cortex snapped and he wore a Knickerjersey on ...
Fun With Knicks' Math
• R.I.P., Sean Taylor. • Enough, Eli, enough. • We miss Saturday NFL too. • Pau Gasol poops. • The Daily Illini rules. • The Patriots could possibly lose. Possibly. • The Bob Knight Gun Show • God, we love Canada. • Bill Conlin would like you to get off his lawn. • Covering the Knicks is miserable. ...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch while making the world's longest lanyard ... • NBA: Boston at Miami; Los Angeles Lakers at Utah. Everybody was Shaq Fu fighting ... [ESPN] • College football: Fresno State at New Mexico State. Bulldogs vs. Aggies. Um, what's an Aggie again? [ESPN2] • Motor sports: NASCAR Nextel Cup Awa...
The Last Weekend For This College Football Business
Some might say there's no legitimate national champion this year, but that seems beside the point: We play sports to crown a champion, and if no one necessarily deserves it, what's wrong with that? It's nice to have a winner....
Dissecting Captain Crazy
Watching the Knicks these days is a brutal, glorious experience; last night's loss to the Celtics was the nadir in a season full of them. And the centerpiece of the madness is, of course, Stephon Marbury, the Tracy Jordan of the NBA. He's mesmerizing; we can't look away....
When Ya Gotta Go ...
Sometimes, the call of nature is so powerful that it cannot be overcome. We know. We've been there. You might be in an inconvenient location, but whaddya gonna do? Just ask Kansas State forward Bill Walker....
ESPN's Featured Comment Of The Day
ESPN scoured its message boards this morning for its wittiest, boldest, most enlightening comment, and chose this one above all others ......
Oh, This Is Just Sad
So it's at this point in the Knicks' season where we hear the band leader say "Gentlemen, it's been a pleasure and an honor playing with you," and then, as the ship creaks and begins its slow descent into the sea, they play the final hymn of "Nearer My God to Thee." (Later Fred Jones will be found f...
Down Goes Favre! (Kind Of, Not Really)
Of all the possible scenarios going into last night's Epic And Unwatched De Facto NFC Championship Game, the one we hadn't considered involved Brett Favre getting hurt and pulled in the second quarter. The only scenario less likely was Aaron Rodgers actually bringing the Packers back ... and that al...
About Last Night
What you missed while putting a special hamper in the bathroom for shirts, with the other one for socks and poo-poo undies ... • NFL: It goes to 11 ... RomoCop leads Cowboys over Packers 37-24. • College football: The Honeymooners ... Art Carmody kicks Louisville to 41-38 win over Rutgers. • NHL: An...