w Page 5039 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
About Last Night
What you missed while analyzing gRAPhs ... • NBA: Yao's Rockets beat Yi's Bucks. China politely applauds. • NHL: I hope the Discovery Channel caught this: Ducks defeat Sharks in shootout. • College Football: Rutgers Ray Rice rushes for rool-record. Hey, alliteration!...
Tennessee Football Players Have It All
• Josh McNeil is living the American Dream. • Sox tickets are more expensive than they used to be. • Yum yum. • Maverick! • Unsilent did some good work on our day off. • How we missed Chris Henry. • We will never think of Rivers the same way again. • Choo-Choo. • Email aside, be careful of buying th...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch as the Devil Rays cut their name in half ... • College football: Rutgers at Army. Scarlet Knights vs. Black Knights. Who ya got? [ESPN2] • Golf: PGA European Tour/PGA Tour of Australasia, HSBC Champions, third round, Shanghai. Australasia? You lost me. [The Golf Channel] • NBA: Denver ...
John Elway Should Be Free To Drink To His Heart's Content
The deification of John Elway in the Denver area is all-encompassing; we think Colorado might give Elway their presidential electoral votes just on general principle. Which is why we couldn't be more stunned: Someone cut off Elway from drinking at a bar!...
Yao Vs. Yi: 250 Million Chinese Viewers Can't Be Wrong
It's a fine Friday afternoon as Awful Announcing asks the musical question, is anyone aware that the largest television audience ever for a sporting event could take place tonight? That's right folks, it's Yi vs. Yao! From the Houston Chronicle:...
Who Will Be Playboy's Sexiest Sportscaster In 2008?
AJ Daulerio's Cultural Oddsmaker runs every Friday. Feel free to email him your thoughts....
Mourning Your Grandmother Is Fineable Offense For Vikings
When we first heard that Minnesota Vikings wide receiver was being docked a game's pay for missing a game for his grandmother's funeral, we figured there had to be a catch. He had a history of skipping practice. He was generally an attitude problem. His grandmother was a Fascist. Something. But nope...
There Goes A.B., Trying To Deny It Again
We know we should enjoy those text messages that are put on the scoreboard during baseball games these days — it's fan participation, after all — but inevitably they just seem like the screechings of teenagers, using a language we cannot understand. But we dont' take them seriously. But then again: ...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch after you are grounded for 15 years ...• College football: Louisville at West Virginia. Fear the cardinal. Its pecking could break the skin and give you a very bad infection. [ESPN] • NBA: Detroit at Chicago; Dallas at Golden State. Mavericks at Warriors. That somehow rings a bell ... ...
Manute Bol And Spud Webb Can Sell Chicken
We're not going to harp on this, and we're not going to try to steal their luster, so we're just gonna beg you to sprint over to Wizznutzz and check out what is truly "the greatest piece of sports memorabilia of all time....
The Plight Of The Nerdy White Hoopster
We're rather excited to have the NBA back, not just because it's a gorgeous, chaotic bit of organizational improvisation, but because it reveals just how dorky looking white people are....
Clinton Portis Is Happily Weird Again
Via DC Sports Bog, which was invented for this very thing, it's Clinton Portis' newest "character." It's "Choo-Choo." We don't know what it means, and we don't care. It's like the final season of "Arrested Development;" not as inspired as the first go-arounds, but we're all just grateful it's back,...
The Houston Texans Are Full Of Political Intrigue
Amazingly, there's all kinds of political strife in the former Soviet land of Georgia. We know. Protests and corruption in Russia; now we've seen everything. Apparently the major opposition party is led by Matt Schaub. They're totally regretting passing on Reggie Bush as the leader of the oppositio...
Jamboroo, Week 10: Featuring Marmalard, A—hole Doctors, Depressed Bunnies, Goldfish, And Lots Of Other Stupid S—t
Big Daddy Drew's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo previews the upcoming weekend of the NFL every, well, every Thursday afternoon....
Welcome To The NHL, Kid
Toronto Maple Leafs forward Jiri Tlusty is one of the top young prospects in the NHL, and he scored two goals a couple weeks ago despite only being 19 years old. So how is he welcomed to the big time? Some Canadian Perez Hilton knockoff site keeps calling him gay....
Pedro's Offseason Workout Regimen
Far be it from us to tell a professional athlete how to live his/her life, but heavens, Pedro, you're turning into Schilling....
This Morning, Ashley Judd Weeps
The college basketball season has barely started — really, it hasn't, not at all — and we've already had three ridiculous upsets (even if two didn't count). This is a welcome break; if you'll remember the NCAA tournament last year, we barely had any. We hope this is a good sign....
Mark Mangino, Your Photo Gallery
We don't know about you, but we're entranced by Kansas coach Mark Mangino. He's like Rick Majerus, but less cartoonish. He looks like what we want football coaches to look like; sorry, ladies, but he's married!...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch as you enjoy some deep-fried cupcakes ... • College football: Ohio at Akron. The only thing bigger is the Super Bowl. [ESPN2] • Golf: PGA European Tour/PGA Tour Australasia, HSBC Champions, first round, at Shanghai. Late-night golf from Shanghai is pretty much whatt he inventors on TV ...
Marbury Wants You To Know That Only He Sells Cheapass Shoes
Considering he has testified under oath that he had sex with a Knicks intern in his car — and then helped get her a better job! — Stephon Marbury needs all the good PR he can get. Hence, those cheap sneakers he sells, which help inner city kids become more like Stephon Marbury, which is totally a go...