w Page 5069 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

There Are Safeties Weaker Than Ryan Seacrest
You know, we didn't mean to come across as openly derisive toward Ryan Seacrest yesterday when we pointed out that he will be a co-host of the Super Bowl this year. In fact, we clearly underestimated the guy....

Our Only Regret Is That Gary Sheffield Does Not Have A Blog
This just in: Joe Torre is still a racist. He also hates puppies, and Flight of the Conchords. Let's get him! Such would be the cry if Gary Sheffield ran baseball....

To Watch Tonight
What to watch as mankind prepares for the Potato Wars ... • Baseball: San Francisco at Atlanta. If we could get a Bobby Cox ejection during a Bonds home run, that would save endless time. [TBS] • NFL: Preseason, Miami at Kansas City. Yes, I have Brodie Croyle Fever. Why do you ask? [ESPN] • Tennis: ...

If Only The Large Breasted Hot Women Would Leave Athletes Alone!
The handsome rapscallion you see right there is Will Demps, a slightly mediocre free safety for the New York Giants who's pretty much destined to be on a reality show in six years. He's a smoldering fellow, and you know what that means: He just can't keep the groupies off him....

NFL Season Preview: Detroit Lions
Believe it or not, folks, the NFL season is much closer than you can possibly imagine. So close, in fact, that, if we're going to fit in every NFL team preview by the start of the season, we have to go this early. So there you have it....

The Super Bowl Gets More SUPER
You might think that Richard Simmons hanging out with Howie Long and company is just an anomaly, a tiny bit of happenstance. But then again, you don't know who's hosting the pregame and halftime festivities for Fox at Super Bowl XLII....

Bledsoe Never Really Wanted To Play
It is only in retirement that Drew Bledsoe confirmed what we always pretty much knew: He never really wanted to be much of a football player....

There's Madness Behind The Mask
To help celebrate Bobby Cox's record 132nd career ejection (he was tossed again on Wednesday), Sons of Sam Malone compiled the Top 5 Manager Ejections of recent years. It is a fine list, a noble list, and makes me want to crawl on all fours and pretend to lob a grenade. 'But hey,' you may be saying ...

Jason Grilli Is Pretty Sure He Has Fans
Any athlete with his own Web site has several options. He can be entirely weird and wonderful. He can speak blandly about this team and life As A Baseball Player. He can sporadically update and ask for charitable donations. Or he can just try to sell shit. Or, if you're Tigers pitcher Jason Grilli, ...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch as you send your robot squirrel out to take care of the rattlesnake ... • MLB: Detroit at Cleveland [ESPN]; Cincinnati at Chicago Cubs. "He can't hit he can't hit he can't hit, Su-wing batter!" [WGN] • Tennis: ATP, Western & Southern Financial Group Masters, early round, at Cincinnati....

You Can't Tell, But Howie Long Is Erect
If we know our average Deadspin reader, you were obviously watching "Fox & Friends" on the Fox News Channel this morning. But just in case ... Richard Simmons was hanging out with the FOX NFL Sunday crew. Finally, someone who makes Jimmy Johnson look well dressed, and Terry Bradshaw look less gay. ...

Locate Your Local Viking
From Chiefs Coalition comes this photo from ... well, we're not sure where it's from. But we're having a really difficult time figuring out where that Vikings' hands and feet go....

NFL Season Preview: Oakland Raiders
Believe it or not, folks, the NFL season is much closer than you can possibly imagine. So close, in fact, that, if we're going to fit in every NFL team preview by the start of the season, we have to go this early. So there you have it....


Jose Offerman's Comeback Attempt Hits A Minor Snag
As you surely knew, everyone's favorite smoldering volcano of goodness, ex-major league All-Star Jose Offerman, is playing for the Long Island Ducks of the Independent Atlantic League this season. Or, he was, until he went after opposing players with a bat on Tuesday night. Let's see Bonds try this....

ESPN.com EIC Knows What The Kids Want
A couple of weeks ago, we helped rid you of the annoying video on the front page of ESPN.com. Well, good news: If you weren't able to figure out how to do that, new ESPN.com editor-in-chief Rob King is gonna take care of that for you....

To Watch Tonight
What to watch when you finally get out of the safe ... • MLB: Twins at Mariners. [Fox Sports Northwest] • MLB: Tigers at Indians. [Sports Time Ohio] • Little League softball: World Series, semifinals, at Portland, Ore. You know you're totally down. [ESPN2]...

NFL Season Preview: Philadelphia Eagles
Believe it or not, folks, the NFL season is much closer than you can possibly imagine. So close, in fact, that, if we're going to fit in every NFL team preview by the start of the season, we have to go this early. So there you have it....

Wait ... A Tolerable Monday Night Football Broadcast?
So we were watching ESPN's "Monday Night Football" last night, and we noticed this odd feeling, a peculiar sensation that we had, up to that point, never experienced. We couldn't figure it out; were we developing some sort of cold? And then we realized: We were watching "Monday Night Football" ... a...