w Page 5069 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Savor This Moment, Because It May Never Happen Again
It's rare that one can say this and mean it, so one must make it count: Yesterday's victory over the White Sox gave the Kansas City Royals sole possession of first place in the AL Central....
Programming Notes
Send along today's tips to both [email protected] and [email protected]....
He Obviously Ate The Cheez Doodles First
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap...
This Is Why The Internet Wins
In a day inundated with depressing news, it only seems fitting to end it with mindless insanity courtesy of Mr. Ufford at Warming Glow. This is your reward for being respectful today....
Nooooooooooo!
Well this is just sad. A Canadian sporting event without beer is just, well, it's sparsely attended, for starters. Poor hosers....
Ancient Cheerleader Manual Reveals Secrets To Making Classmates Jealous
You have probably thought about being a cheerleader, but may think that you're right not for the job. Nonsense! If you can speak English, dress appropriately and pretend to like your school, anything is possible!...
Man Who Caused Adenhart Crash Had Prior Arrest Record?
Andrew Thomas Gallo, 22, could be charged with second-degree murder for the death of Nick Adenhart and two other passengers. Fullerton police said Gallo was drunk at the time and also had a suspended license....
Time Running Out To Bid On Bernie Madoff's Mets Tickets
Bernie Madoff's Opening Day Mets tickets are now on sale. Don't worry; nine innings with the San Diego Padres will only seem like a prison sentence....
And Now Equal Time For Female Abs
I think Dara Torres has literally had a washboard surgically implanted in her abdomen. Trust me—the answer is not "drink more milk." [Sportress of Blogitude]...
All Right, I'll Attend Your Stinking Workouts
After saying that he wouldn't attend the Bills' voluntary offseason conditioning program because it was, well, voluntary, Terrell Owens changes his mind and shows up on Wednesday. [The Buffalo News]...
Fenway On Ice
Sources say the Boston Bruins will host next year's Winter Classic at Fenway Park. If someone doesn't get checked into the Green Monster, I'll want my money back. [Puck Daddy]...
This Is How Skip Bayless Keeps His Mouth In Shape
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap...
Barry Zito Uses Twitter To Talk About His New Kitchen Appliances
"It's cold in my room, but my Dutch oven warms me up..." [Pacman Jonesin']...
Adrian Peterson Does Not Get Hockey
Like many a local celebrity before him, Adrian Peterson was given the honor kicking off the Minnesota Wild game last night with their traditional chant of "Let's Play Hockey." That didn't work out so well....
San Francisco Giants Advertising Copy Written By Giggling 12-Year-Olds
The Giants marketing department will apparently just write anything down on a piece of paper and consider their jobs done. Please leave all "ball"-based puns to the professionals. [Big League Stew]...
Do Not Cross The Hillsdale College Baseball Team
In a tradition as old as baseball itself, an editor who criticized the Hillsdale College (Mich.) baseball team's putrid record found his front porch decorated with dead animal carcasses, including a shotgunned goat....
Why Do The Mets Hate Children?
There was a time when the New York Mets welcomed young children into their stadium with open arms, but now that they're in a new clean stadium and not some old junkyard....screw those kids....
Ted Kennedy Still Looked Better Than Lincecum
"Thank God this isn't Deadspin, or the comments would be loaded with 1.3 retarded Massholes typing "GO SOX!!1!!!@!!!" [Wonkette]...
It's Good To Be Bill Macdonald
Fox Sports West's Bill Macdonald has been a popular LA-based broadcaster for more than 20 years. Unfortunately, Halos Heaven ran some photos of him getting cozy with a young woman outside of Angels Stadium....