w Page 5091 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Watch, Hoof, Watch!
You've sat through "The Sopranos," waiting for them to just settle the whole matter already so you can stop seeing ads for it. You ordered HBO for one reason only. And the night you've been waiting for is among us: It's the HBO Barbaro Documentary....

To Watch Tonight
What you'll watch once you get to The Winchester ... • College softball: World Series, championship series, Game 3, Tennessee vs. Arizona, at Oklahoma City. One run to rule them all. [ESPN2] • MLB: Philadelphia at New York Mets. Danny DeVito, NOOO! [ESPN] • NHL: Stanley Cup Finals, Ottawa at Anaheim...

Like The Bachelor, But Somehow Dumber
Remember Mark Philippoussis? He was a vaguely douchey tennis "star" who dated Paris Hilton before it set your genitals on fire to date Paris Hilton. (This could be when she was nine.) Well, he has made the next logical jump in his "career;" He's appearing on a dating reality show. That NBC dating sh...

Come See Rick Reilly Make Armpit Noises
We've encouraged you to come to the Varsity Letters Reading Series in New York before, but if you come to tonight's endeavor, you'll be in for a special treat. (Depending on how you define "special.") The headlining reader is Sports Illustrated columnist/stand-up comic Rick Reilly. (Donald Evans and...

When Every Match Is A Friendly
We don't claim to know a lot about soccer,* but we believe that the Romanians are really on to something here. Hoping to stamp out hooliganism at his matches, Steaua Bucharest owner Gigi Becali will from now on play only religious music at the team's home stadium. But that's not all....

Hey, Everybody, Pasty Fellas!
As surely anyone with a commenting account — and we remind anyone who wants one to email the Deadtern and state your case — knows by now, the ladies over at Ladies ... have posted their Hot Blogger Bracket. The whole experiment is a perfect case study in blog physics: Hold a contest that only blogge...

Carl Monday: The Early Years
Ever wonder what drives crusading field journalist Carl Monday? He didn't just pursue the Mike Cooper library case out of thin air; there had to be an underlying force, some childhood trauma, perhaps, which would cause him in later life to obsess over a perfectly ordinary human function. We wonder w...

We've Always Thought We Kind Of Look Like Youppi
In a clever conceit, the guys at Rivalfish have come up with a comprehensive list of which celebrities look like which major sports team's logos. It sounds gimmick, and it kind of is, but they've certainly put in their research, as evidenced by the (not at ALL offensive!) Chief Nok-a-Homa / Tim Curr...

Protect Your Jewels, Macaulay!
Our childhood obsession with Mike Tyson's Punch-Out is well documented, to be sure. But exactly how would we have been scarred if we had somehow stumbled onto this version? The mind reels....

Kevin Durant Is Low On The Upper Body Strength
Among those who care more about silly workout statistics and the notion of watching young men in their underwear run, jump and lift things than simply watching how preternaturally blessed athletes dominate their sports, there was considerable concern this week about Kevin Durant's relatively weak sh...

Three Great Tastes That Taste Great Together
So, you're trying to promote your fledgling soccer franchise. You've got a two options: You can hold a blood drive outside the stadium pregame and give free tickets to those who give up a pint. Or ... you can just GIVE OUT FREE BEER!...

Some Things You See That You Can't Unsee
Friends, we have seen death; we have walked up to it, looked it straight in the eye and then scampered off and hid under our desk....

Serena Williams Scoots Out Down The Road
Earlier today (or yesterday, or whatever the heck time it is in Australia), Serena Williams lost in the French Open. Fortunately, this video, from our friends at The Fanhouse, reveals that her time in France was anything but a waste. It's cute: She dances like our aunt at a wedding. Of course, our a...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch while watching this over and over ... • College softball: World Series, championship series, Game 2, Tennessee vs. Arizona, at Oklahoma City. The over-under on attempted drag bunts is 19. [ESPN2] • MLB: Chicago Cubs at Milwaukee. Piniella to spend some quality time in the parking lot w...

Is Gene Upshaw Gonna Have To Choke A Bitch?
You might remember, last August, when Bryant Gumbel — that notorious agent of social change — blasted NFL union head Gene Upshaw for being the "personal pet" of the NFL, and that he was kept "on a leash."...

May We Have A Word, Please?
One of our favorite Steve Martin lines: "Some people have a way with words. Other people, er ... I don't know, not have way, I guess." From Houghton Mifflin comes the list of 100 essential words that every high school graduate should know, and we are very pleased to see two of our old favorites, "fe...

This Man Knows What Athletics Really Mean
The Fanhouse discussed this yesterday, but we wouldn't help but play with it some more: There's a Massachusetts politician named Kevin Thompson who is kind of losing his mind about Tom Brady. Actually, he has a problem with athletes in general....

Not Much Hockey Left To Go
After last night's Stanley Cup Finals Game 4, an Anaheim victory over Ottawa to take a 3-1 series lead, it appears that the NHL will remain true to tradition: The Stanley Cup will be presented in Orange County. It seems as if there could have never been any other way....

Tank Johnson Would Like To Be The Face Of The NFL
In case you were wondering, being involved in a shooting incident in Vegas — though you didn't fire the weapon and all you really did was hang out with shady people and try to get your money back after a rather ill-advised "making it rain" incident — will earn you a one-year suspension from the NFL....

Two Hours In, And We Already Hate Ourselves
We got a late start, so we're only two hours into the great "watch the ESPN family of networks" experiment of 2007. (Though you won't be able to read it until 2008.) So far, we've seen the same "SportsCenter" twice and have marveled at just how handsome Mike Greenberg really is. This is going to be ...