w Page 5106 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
He Has Risen, And Is Demanding Oats
You know, we mocked the Barbaro message boarders when they claimed that Big Boss Horse was appearing to them from the afterlife. Yeah, we had a good laugh over that. But then a reader got to looking closely at our Jesus bowling post from last week, and made a startling discovery. Just look at the im...
An Opening Night Loss? No Problem!
On Faith And Fear In Flushing yesterday, Jason Fry wrote that the Opening Night game between the Cardinals and Mets at Busch Stadium last night was lose-lose for the Mets and win-win for the Cardinals. A Mets loss would remind of misery, and a win would just remind of what could have been; meanwhile...
Opening Day Eve, Or Whatever They Call This
Tonight, The St. Louis Cardinals begin their defense of the World Championship. Providing the opposition for the World Champion Cardinals will be the New York Mets, who are not World Champions, and who the Cardinals beat in the NLCS last year en route to a World Championship. On the hill for the Met...
To Watch Tonight...
• MLB Baseball. New York Mets @ St. Louis Cardinals. Welcome back, Nice to see you again, Joe Morgan. 8:00, ESPN2. • Professional Wrestling. Wrestlemania XXIII. If you shave Donald Trump's head, do you have to take the toupee off first? 7:00, Pay Per View. • Women's College Basketball. NCAA Tourname...
Ricky Williams Wants Back In Your Life
The ball is rolling for Ricky Williams to get himself back in the National Football League. His agent, Leigh Steinberg, claims that Ricky's in the best shape of his life (though I don't know if an agent has ever said that a client of his wasn't in the best shape of his life) and has passed all of hi...
Michael Phelps Will Have Eight Gold Medals Over Ian Crocker's Dead Body
Michael Phelps wanted to swim eight events at the World Swimming Championships, and he wanted to win 8 gold medals. The biggest obstacle in his way was fellow American Ian Crocker, the worst record holder in the 100m butterfly, an event in which Crocker would be swimming against Phelps....
The Final Four Open Thread
I'm afraid I won't be with you for tonight's basketball festivities — I decided to try actually watching a game without a keyboard in front of me. I don't know what that's going to be like, but I've heard it's wild....
To Watch Tonight...
• Movie. The Rookie. Dennis Quaid was born to play old athletes. 8:00, ABC. • College Basketball. NCAA Tournament. Ohio State vs. Florida. Where Dennis Quaid stars in the role of Greg Oden. 6:07, CBS. • College Basketball. NCAA Tournament. Florida vs. UCLA. Half of the nation will have night terrors...
5, 4, 3... Wheee! Uh Oh...
If you slept at all, chances are, you slept more peacefully than Michael Ruffin last night. Between the guilt, the "Dear God, what have I done" thoughts, and the endless "Thanks a lot, dickhead" phone calls from teammates, Michael Ruffin probably didn't sleep well....
Week In Review: Yes, Virgina, There Is A Final Four
• Screw off, Selig. • Goodbye, George Solomon. • Peyton Manning blows us away with his ability to be vaguely amusing. • Look what happens when you get these guys together in a room. • Dance, Gus Johnson, dance. • Duke ladies. • See ya, Joe Theismann. • You, too, can coach the Wolverines. • David Hir...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch after a couple of drinks, a nice steak and a parking lot beatdown at O'Charley's ... • Boxing: Mary Jo Sanders vs. Valerie Mahfood, for IBA women's middleweight title, from Detroit. C-c-c-ca-ca-ca catfight! [ESPN2] • Baseball: Chicago Cubs vs. Seattle, exhibition, at Las Vegas. Just tr...
Your NL West "Preview"
Whew, last one. We'd like to point out a couple of the pictures above. First, we enjoyed choosing a picture of Tony Clark for the D-Backs one, considering he's the opposite of a Diamondback this year. Second: Steve Finley is on the Rockies? Wow!...
Baseball Season Preview: Arizona Diamondbacks
You might remember, from back at the beginning of the NFL season, when we previewed each team by having a writer we liked write about their favorite team....
Cultural Oddsmaker: What'll Be The Next Disgusting Act During A Sporting Event?
AJ Daulerio's Cultural Oddsmaker runs every Friday. Email him to let him know what you think....
Your NL Central "Preview"
Look, guys: We didn't pick the Cardinals! (We still think they'll win the wild card.) Yes, our flirtation with the Brewers continues; we actually picked them to win the wild card at midseason last year. So there's that....
Baseball Season Preview: Los Angeles Dodgers
You might remember, from back at the beginning of the NFL season, when we previewed each team by having a writer we liked write about their favorite team....
Ironically, Goebbels Actually Liked The Jets
Not a good sign for the New York Giants: Tom Coughlin is beginning to crack under the pressure, and it's not even April. Get those season tickets now, fans! From the New York Daily News:...
Seriously, You Should Be Very Honored, Mountainers
We'd like to congratulate the West Virginia Mountaineers on their NIT championship last night; that's something that can never be taken away from them. In fact, fans can buy the officially licensed T-shirt above. Truly, it's quite an honor....
Your NL East "Preview"
We should probably warn you: The Phillies are one of those teams we pick to win the National League East a lot. If you haven't noticed, they haven't won the NL East in a long, long time. But we're gonna try again anyway....
Your AL West "Preview"
All right, last one of the day until tomorrow ... we think this is actually the easiest division to pick, which is why, obviously, we're going to have it entirely wrong....