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Week In Deadspin: By The Time The Super Bowl Gets Here, We'll Have Forgotten Who Is Playing
• Our new friends, Andre Rison and Kordell Stewart. • Major League Baseball hates you. • Ugh, Bruce Pearl. • Hee hee, nose picking. • How will we survive without Bill Parcells' manboobs? • REPORTERS TAKE NOTE: Your guide to the Colts and the Bears. • Welcome to The Negro Bowl. • Peyton Manning is su...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch as your approval rating approaches single digits ... • Boxing: Junior middleweights, Richard Gutierrez vs. Teddy Reid, at Uncasville, Conn. Come on down, it's not like you're not going to be in Ucasville anyway. [ESPN2] • Extreme sports: Winter X Games, at Aspen, Colo. Dude, you oversl...

Why You Shouldn't Randomly Promise Tickets To Strangers
When your team makes the Super Bowl, sometimes some promises you've made in the past come back to haunt you. That's what happened to Bears safety Chris Harris, who was on public access earlier this year and found himself in a situation where his mouth was writing checks his ticket stash couldn't cas...

William Perry, Keeping Busy (And Incognito!)
In case you were wondering what William "The Refrigerator" Perry was up to these days, now that the offers to box Manute Bol have dried up, here's one of his main promotional opportunities: Big Camo, "the world's BEST outlet for HARD or IMPOSSIBLE to find BIG and TALL camouflage hunting clothes, acc...

Yeah, We Hate To Be The Ones To Tell You This, Vince ...
An amusing side note from the Nets' late-night last-second loss to the Clippers last night. The NBA All-Star starting lineups were announced last night, and our man Gilbert Arenas edged out Vince Carter — who almost always makes these teams — for the second guard spot in the Eastern Conference. When...

Agent Zero Revenge Tour Makes Imaginary Stop At Duke
We must report that our new favorite place to visit on the Internet is Gilbert Arenas' NBA.com blog (sorry, Fleshbot). This is because A). He actually writes it himself, unlike some people; B). There are posts with headlines such as "ESPN The Magazine Took Me Off the Cover" and "I Was Fouled Against...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch as militant squirrels capture your nuts ... • College men's basketball: Clemson at Duke [ESPN]; UCLA at California; Southern California at Stanford. Yeah, considering the parking situation for that Cal game, we'd suggest leaving the house now. [Fox Sports Net] • College women's basketb...

Welcome To Negro Bowl I!
As you might have heard from a media outlet or two, this is a historic Super Bowl because it features two African American head coaches for the first time. The odds are good that this might be a topic over the next 10 days....

Taking Down The USA, One Touchdown At A Time
Every year, usually more than once a year (whenever there's a major sporting event), some soulless, dumb "research firm" tries to convince us that the office workers of America are somehow skirting their duties serving The Man by paying so much attention to something that might divert them from star...

Yahoo! Still Trying To Catch Reggie Bush
If it's a Thursday, that must mean it's time for another Yahoo !Sports investigation into gifts Reggie Bush might have received at USC. (We don't mean to make light of the hard work Yahoo! has put into its exhaustive investigation, but we repeat that it's hard to take an investigation all that serio...

Bobby Knight Unlocks Another Mystery
Bobby Knight sure has been chatty since breaking the all-time NCAA men's win mark. Here's his take on the whole Bill Parcells situation in Dallas. Parcells, a longtime friend of Knight's since their coaching days at Army, resigned earlier this week. The reason? It's all because of Terrell Owens, of ...

Remind Us To Be Careful When We're In Georgia
A rather stunning story on ESPN.com this morning from Wright Thompson: The tale of Genarlow Wilson, a high school football player and honors student who is serving a 10-year sentence for having consensual oral sex with a 15-year-old girl when he was 17. Thanks to the strange — some might say insane ...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch after a quick run to Wiener Circle for some cheese fries, with extra abuse ... • College men's basketball: North Carolina at Wake Forest [ESPN]; DePaul at Georgetown. Plenty of seats available! Congress actually working these days! Come on down! [ESPN2] • NBA: Houston at San Antonio. C...

Who's The Mysterious Extorted St. Louis Athlete?
The Smoking Gun just posted an amusing report about a St. Louis athlete being extorted for supposedly impregnating some guy's daughter. (Those are usually who are impregnated.) The code name for the player is "P.A."...

Kind Of Looks Like Steve McMichael On A Bender
One of the things we love about the Bears? They have a theme song. It's pretty awesome that a professional sports team has a team song. And it's particularly awesome when it is sung by Bryan Griffin, of the Chicago Lyric Opera....

Deadspin Field Trip: Our Battle With Slash And Bad Moon
Last year around this time, thanks to a promotion for that "Pros Vs. Joes" show on Spike that no one we know watches, we strapped on a helmet and batted against John Rocker. That trip worked out so well for everybody that they asked us if we'd be interested in heading to Grand Central Station in New...

SICK Is A Nice Word For What Bears Fans Are (Yeah!)
As we mentioned on Monday, we were kind of surprised that the little arts & crafts project to the right here was allowed to be displayed during the Saints-Bears game on Sunday; not that we sat up that night fretting about it, but come on. That's a little classless, if you're into the "class" thing, ...

Your Handy Super Bowl XXXXI Human Interest Guide: The Chicago Bears
The endless loop of Super Bowl XXXXI coverage is about to begin, and we like to consider ourselves the Mainstream Media's Little Helpers. We're about to all be deluged with a flood of human interest stories — we can use that metaphor because the Saints lost — so we thought we'd make it easier on all...

Hey, Everyone! How Ya Hoofing?
On the day that Barbaro gets another good report card from his vet, we check in with the Barbaro Message Board to find that, well, things are getting just plain weird. And when you're talking about the Barbaro Message Board, that's saying something....
