w Page 5170 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Broom With A View
Their logo is politically incorrect, their manager is a noted wife puncher and their broadcasters are notorious homers, and I mean all of that in the nicest possible way. But today there is no denying the unstoppable force that is the Atlanta Braves, who completed a four-game sweep of the New York ...
Dusty Basketball Courts Far, Far Away
Even though I promised an alarming amount of irreverence for most of today, it would be unconscionable of me not to sendTrue Hoop genius Henry Abbott as many eyeballs as humanly possible over to his story, "Infantry Hoops in Iraq." Afer he inquired about the amount of basketball being played by some...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch after a day at the penis museum ... • Golf: LPGA, Corning (N.Y.) Classic, first round, (6:30 p.m. ET; same-day tape). So who do you think is hotter; Danielle Ammaccapane or Dina Ammaccapane? [The Golf Channel] • NBA: Eastern Conference finals, Game 2, Detroit at Boston (8:30 p.m., ET)....
The Bus Needs Directions to the Stanley Cup Finals
The Deadspin Stanley Cup Finals Preview is brought to you by the five former Mouseketeers at Melt Your Face Off. And no, neither Britney nor Lindsay would give them the time of day....
Johnny Lawrence Can Still Sweep The Leg
It's time for Minor Enterprise, which celebrates Minor League baseball and all else that is good and great about America. And now, please rise as William Hung sings his rendition of our National Anthem ......
Kelly Tilghman, Doris Burke, Erin Andrews And The Confessions Of A Not-So-Closeted Sports Sexist
This is BALLS DEEP With Big Daddy Drew (Balls® is a registered trademark and has been used with the expressed written consent of AJ Daulerio). It's gonna be like an SI Point After column, only with dick jokes. You can email him here....
Let The Sphincters Roar
Farts are funny, which is why there have been two stories sent to my inbox in the last 24 hours, both of which didn't have to do a very thorough job of explaining what they were about....
ESPN's Featured Comment Of The Day
ESPN scoured its message boards this morning to find its cleverest, boldest, most enlightening comment, and chose this one above all others ......
Marlins Break Brandon Webb's Evil Spell
Somewhere in a third-world country, a child is wearing a Brandon Webb 10-0 t-shirt. It looks rather spiffy with his Patriots 19-0 Super Bowl hat, and his New Orleans Hornets foam No. 1 finger. To beat the most unbeatable of pitchers on Wednesday, Marlins manager Fredi Gonzalez called for the most de...
About Last Night
What you missed while incorrectly calling "shotgun" ... • NBA: Spurs blow 20-point lead in Game 1 loss to Lakers, also lose car keys and wallet. • MLB: Everything's coming up Red Sox ... Bartolo Colon is back, and pitching well. Boston 6, Kansas City 3. • Soccer: I don't know a lot about soccer, but...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch as you enjoy your $30 TV dinner ... • Boxing: Lightweights, Edner Cherry vs. Stevie Johnston; lightweights, Freddie Norwood vs. Johnnie Edwards, at Camp Lejeune, N.C. (9 p.m., ET). What? Isn't this a Marine Corps base? [ESPN2] • MLB: New York Mets at Atlanta (7 p.m., ET). Big Mets' res...
A Hump Day Viewer's Guide
Basketbawful can't make the Spurs-Lakers series new and interesting, but he can tell you what to watch out for when these two horror move monsters go head-to-head....
Bill Simmons Continues Passive-Aggressive Swipes At ESPN Via Blogspot
As fascinatingly silly as this whole Bill Simmons online temper tantrum is — plus the inevitable change of direction Page 2 must undertake should he no longer write for them — it's getting pretty hilarious how conspicous he's being about being pissed off at (supposedly) ESPN.com ....
Latina Mary Pickford, First Lady Of The Cagers
Slate's Robert Weintraub, like many of us, loves the old purple prose of early 1900s sportswriting, the Grantland Rices, the men who painted epic tales of warriors, grizzled combatants and lardywarks too manly to wear gloves. In an occasional series, Weintraub writes about the week's best baseball g...
Another Reason For Stern To Fix The Western Conference Finals
At this point, the adage that "David Stern doesn't want a Spurs-Pistons final" has become so commonplace as to become tired. But if you live in a world that pretends that Nielsen boxes actually mean anything — because no one's ever met anyone with a Nielsen box and you could track actual viewing pat...
The Knicks Already Have Danilo Gallinari Fever
Oh, boy, what a grand giggle we had last night when flipping through Chad Ford's mock draft. Sure, Knicks fans, you're ecstatic about having Isiah Thomas gone — though the rest of us, admit it, already miss him — and Mike D'Antoni promising to speed the game and make the team tolerable to watch. But...
Dazed And Confused
Oh, the carnage (covers eyes). Well that's it, there are no more indignities left. Following Tuesday's games, New York has seen them all. The Mets dropped a doubleheader to the Braves, featuring Ryan Church's attempt to break up a double play at second (Fail). Meanwhile, the Yankees lost to the Orio...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch after you drop off the kids at the bar ... • MLB: Chicago Cubs at Houston (8 p.m., ET). Don't be afraid to show your Cubness. [WGN] • NBA: Draft lottery, at Secaucus, N.J. (8 p.m., ET); Eastern Conference finals, Game 1, Detroit at Boston (8:30 p.m., ET). Your fate, decided by ping pon...
Breaking: Russia Years Ahead Of Us In Remote Control Flying Penis Technology
Garry Kasparov’s love-hate relationship with technology continued on Saturday, as the former World Chess Champion was buzzed by a remote controlled flying penis during a political speech in Moscow. As reported by Gizmodo yesterday, Kasparov seemed bemused by the brief encounter, which ended when an ...
Tonight, Ping Pong Balls Galore
It's the NBA Draft Lottery tonight, otherwise known as "we can't believe the Knicks didn't trade away their first round pick." If you get your jollies from doing mockups of ping pong balls bouncing around, Chad Ford, as always, has your back....