w Page 5173 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Forget Everything You Think You Know About Kyle Farnsworth
No word from The Dugout on this just yet, but it's only a matter of time. Yes, if you thought you knew Kyle Farnsworth — Grand Theft Farnsworth! — YOU HAVE NO IDEA....

To Watch Tonight
What to watch after a man in a gorilla suit steals your pants ... • Horse racing: Preakness post position draw, at Baltimore (5 p.m., ET). Do not bother me for the next two hours! [ESPN2] • MLB: Atlanta at Philadelphia (7 p.m., ET). Bring me the head of the Phillie Phanatic. [ESPN] • NBA: Eastern Co...

Not Quite A Mark McGwire Sighting, But Close
It's been a while since we've seen Mark McGwire. Wait ... was that him at that Obama rally yesterday? OK, no, that wasn't him. But admit it: You wouldn't be surprised if he looked like this now....

Enough, Already, With The "Unwritten Rules" Of Baseball
Goose Gossage says you can't show joy when you do something positive. You can't bunt to end a no-hitter. If their guy throws even close to your guy, you have to throw closer to his guy. In the fourth inning, everyone has to do an Indonesian Dance Of Skulls before tapping his left ear twice. These "u...

The Briny Ballers Achieve A Left-Columner
Slate's Robert Weintraub, like many of us, loves the old purple prose of early 1900s sportswriting, the Grantland Rices, the men who painted epic tales of warriors, grizzled combatants and lardywarks too manly to wear gloves. In an occasional series, Weintraub writes about the week's best baseball g...

Who's Quitting Now? Annika Sorenstam, Among Others
Now this is the way to quit. Simple announcement, no ambiguity, definite schedule for withdrawal. Annika Sorenstam, who announced on Tuesday that she's leaving the LPGA Tour at the end of the season, is employing an exit strategy the Bush Administration is envying. Oh, and you can also bet that she'...

Has Troubled Joe Phillips Resurfaced Online?
Most of us not in the Kansas City-area probably heard first about former Chiefs' defensive lineman Joe Phillips' troubles through the fascinating HBO Real Sports segment from last January titled "Family Burden." The story focused on a handful of wives of ex-NFL players going through hard times physi...

Boston Herald Gets Wingo'd Into Apology, Readers Revolt
During yesterday's Spygate meet-and-greet with the press, Roger Goodell and Matt Walsh revealed everything and nothing as to how this whole misguided mess actually transpired. What we do know? According to Goodell, Patriots coach Bill Belichick continues to be full of shit about his misreading of th...

Erin Andrews Seriousness Paved Her Path To Stardom
Here's an interesting interview between CNBC's Donny Deutsch and ESPN's beloved, bright, bright shining star, Erin Andrews, found by The Sports Point, talking about both creepy commenters and how she broke into the business. In the snippet below, Andrews humbly admits she was "horrible" at TBS while...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch after your reign of mini-donut terror is ended ... • NBA: Eastern Conference semifinals, Game 5, Orlando at Detroit (7 p.m., ET); Western Conference semifinals, Game 6, San Antonio at New Orleans (9:30 p.m., ET). This had better not interfere with the latest episode of Charmed. [TNT] •...

Examining The Procreation Habits Of The Modern Day Athlete For Fun
You've probably asked yourself a million times, "I wish there was a blog out there that would let me know how how Shawn Kemp Jr. Jr. Jr.'s doing or give me updates on Darren McFadden's paternity suit situation."...

Goose Gossage Has Had Enough Of Your Tomfoolery
I guess we're somewhat removed from the era in which Rich "Goose" Gossage dominated baseball; well, when he dominated the final three innings of it, anyway. The closer really hadn't been perfected until Gossage came along, and the game hasn't been the same since. Although the Hall of Famer spent jus...

And Toward Me He Charged: Charles Haley's Bananas
Being a sports reporter is, at times, an absolutely horrible job. Sure you get to watch games, travel and interact with athletes, but there is a horrendous downside. (Which is pretty much everything else.) And this is never more disturbingly clear than when a reporter has their first (or 50th) awful...

Terrell Owens Might Have A Future In This Film Business
So, remember that Terrell Owens porn film cameo that had everyone up in arms? Owens' representatives desperately tried to make everyone take it down — us included — and did all they could to sweep it under the rug. But is Owens more involved with the porn world than we thought? A recent interview wi...

Here Come The Red Wings ... Duck!
The NHL Closer is written by the Five Horsemen of the Apuckalypse from Melt Your Face Off. When not poring over the Book of Revelation for clues as to how to finally take out Gary Bettman, they can be found discovering new and inventive ways to commit blasphemy, blog-style. Weed Against Speed takes ...

Zero To Three In Six Seconds
Somewhere, Neal Ball and Bill Wambsganss are smiling (which is creepy, because they're dead). They finally get to welcome another member into the Cleveland Unassisted Triple Play Club, as Asdrubal Cabrera made the magic happen on Monday night against the Blue Jays. It was the 14th unassisted triple ...

About Last Night
What you missed while leaping onto the Bob Barr Presidential bandwagon ... • NBA: Why Don't We Do It On The Road ... Celtics lose again in Cleveland, evening series 2-all. • MLB: Nick Adenhart gets his first major league victory, then is promptly sent to the minors. Angels 10, White Sox 7. • NHL: Oh...

To Watch Tonight
What you missed while riding the giant NSFW mechanical bucking penis ... • Arena Football: Philadelphia at Georgia (8 p.m., ET). Welcome to Duluth, bitches. [ESPN2] • MLB: Boston at Minnesota (7 p.m., ET). Come see a sporting event in the only building named after a man named Hubert. [ESPN] • NBA: E...