w Page 5224 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

The Armadillo Cowboy, Know Thy Name
The NBA Closer is written by our own Canadian weekend maestro J.E. Skeets. When he's not busy scouring the box scores or throwing out pork chops, he can be heard on The Basketball Jones daily podcast. Enjoy!...

The Thrilling Nature Of An NFC Wild-Card Elimination Game
The NFL Network was crowing about its Cowboys-Packers ratings last week. Let's see how they do with a game much fewer people care about....

To Watch Tonight
What to watch as Chris Hansen from Dateline NBC busts Santa ... • Boxing: Super welterweights, Andrey "A Case Of The Dingies" Tsurkan vs. Yuri "Peace Through Diplomacy" Foreman; super welterweights, Sergio "Hands of Butter" Martinez vs. Ossie "Prison Lunch" Duran, at New York. [Versus] • College bas...

Jamboroo, Week 14: College Overtime? In The NFL? F—k Yeah!
Big Daddy Drew's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo previews the upcoming weekend of the NFL every, well, every Thursday afternoon....

Barry Bonds Could Really Use Johnnie Cochran Right About Now
Considering the charges against him — and the public opinion forces, going all the way up to President bush — one would think Barry Bonds' legal team would be coming together and preparing a fierce, scorched earth strategy to take down what are arguably pumped-up charges. One would be wrong....

Woman Knocks Out Husband With Potato; Dodgers Sign Her For $25 Million Over Two Years
If you're Irish like me, this is pretty much an everyday occurrence. But for others it may be rare: During a drunken Thanksgiving argument, a wife grabbed a potato and fired it at her husband, nailing him right in the snout and knocking him to Dream Town. (As Emeril would say: "Bam!"). Aside from th...

Micah Owings Might Go Both Ways
One of the stars of the Diamondbacks' improbable 2007 season was Micah Owings, the pitcher who could hit better than almost everybody else in Arizona's lineup. In the offseason, teams look for every advantage they can find, to fill every hole. The D-Backs are getting creative; they're thinking of pu...

About Last Night
What you missed while playing Zap-A-Bug ... • NHL: In a game narrated by Morgan Freeman, Crosby's first trip to Edmonton results in 4-2 win by Pittsburgh. • NBA: Always Be Closing! Iverson scores 51, but is only 1-for-4 in the fourth quarter as Lakers beat Nuggets 110-107. • MLB: This just in: A .22...

Some End-Of-Day Love For The Rainbows
In the most bizarre, bewildering, ultimately disappointing — we'd much rather see Missouri vs. West Virginia in the title game than Ohio State vs. LSU; we admit it — there's only one team that has done nothing but provide unadulterated joy to its fans all season long: The Hawaii Rainbows. (Or Rainbo...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch as you finally achieve peace of mind ... • College basketball: Syracuse at Virginia; West Virginia vs. Auburn, at Birmingham, Ala. I'll bring the soy sauce. [ESPN2] • College basketball: Georgetown vs. Alabama, at Birmingham, Ala. Hope the hush puppies vendor gets here soon. [ESPN] • N...

Robert Wuhl Is Still Getting Work, Kind Of
Sometimes we feel bad for Robert Wuhl. Sure, "Arliss" was pretty horrible, but the guy was in Batman and Bull Durham, and all he has to show for it are some lingering hangers-on friendships with past-their-prime former athletes. (We doubt LeBron ever knew his show existed.) But hey: At least he gets...

If It's The Beginning Of The Month, It Must Be Varsity Letters Time
Those crazy characters over at Gelf are having another one of their Varsity Letters Reading Series things tomorrow night, and it's a solid, rollicking crew....

God Just Can't Make Up His Mind About Kentucky Basketball
All right, seriously, God: You need to let us know whether or not Alex Legion is part of your worldly college basketball plans, or not. Enough with that global famine business: Let's get down to the real work....

What Is The Deadspin Word Of The Year?
For the second year in a row, Merriam-Webster OnLine is asking readers to vote for the Word of the Year; in 2006, as you may recall, the winner was "truthiness." This year they're limiting the field to a list of 20 words that they've selected "from frequent hits to Merriam-Webster OnLine and some po...

Words Fail Us. Please Proceed To Photo
Well, women's professional golf has just advanced on my list of favorite sports from No. 109 to No. 63 ... just ahead of cheese rolling, but still behind rugby and Calvinball. The dramatic upsurge in the standings is due to Anna Rawson, who earned her LPGA tour card this week. We are absolutely ce...

In A Way, Aren't We All John Maine?
For years, we have been plagued by the scourge of John Maine impersonators. We have fallen prey to this ourselves; heck, just more than a month ago, we thought Maine had shown up at our door, asking not for a dress, but for candy. One would think we would have learned to have been more skeptical....

Fat Guy, Skinny Guy Shipped To Detroit
As was first reported (kinda) by Sports Review Magazine, baseball had its first big trade yesterday. The Marlins sent Miguel Cabrera and Dontrelle Willis to the Tigers for six guys, though we think the actual amount of tonnage exchanged was close to equal....

All Canada, All The Time
We are proud to welcome famed hockey journalist James Mirtle to the post of NHL Closer writer this week....

About Last Night
What you missed while doing a little Christmas decorating ... • NBA: Sun explodes, melts Pacers. Phoenix 121, Indiana 117. • MLB: Cabrera, Willis soon to breath in the sweet second-hand smoke of the Tigers' dugout following megadeal with Marlins. • College basketball: Don't you ever underestimate th...