w Page 5288 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Mark Cuban Has A Thing For Girdle Pads
Finally, a pro football league with second-rate players which plays on Friday nights in places like San Antonio and Sacramento. It's like someone has been recording our dreams!...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch while wishing a happy birthday to the legend that is unsilent majority ... • MLB: Cleveland at Boston [ESPN2]; Florida at Chicago Cubs. Red Sox's magic number is 90. [WGN] • NBA: Western Conference finals, Utah at San Antonio, Game 5. Let's point the t-shirt cannon toward the court thi...
The Otters Are No Longer Satisfied With Their Jug Band Christmas
Beware, everyone: The otters have finally had enough of centuries of human dominance and have banded together to destroy us. It was only a matter of time. We welcome our new otter overlords....
It Tastes Like The Back Of A LA School Bus
Ever wonder what it would be like to see Manny Ramirez savor the aroma of fine wine? (Manny, that's not grape juice ... Manny ... Manny ....) Get yourself to Yawkey Way tomorrow to see three Red Sox show off their new wines. It will be nice to see Schilling use a spit cup for something other than ch...
Kobe Bryant, All About The DRAMA
We have a hard time firing ourselves up about front-office intrigue, mainly because it's usually just people posturing about money and "respect" and all kinds of silliness. But we have been enjoying this Kobe Bryant and the Lakers business, if just because it's not every day that a guy who was once ...
You Can't Put A Price On A Lifetime Of Wisdom
We always support those who want to give back to the community and charitable organizations, particularly when that charitable donation involves spending an hour absorbing information directly from the brain of Isiah Thomas....
When It's Time For Mr. Met To Party, It's Time To Party Hard
You thought A-Rod was the only New York baseball personality out partying with attractive ladies all weekend? You clearly forgot about Mr. Met....
A-Rod Has Sexual Urges, Apparently
Remind Alex Rodriguez, once again, why he decided to come to New York? As if matters weren't disastrous enough in The Bronx right now, it appears everybody's favorite sensitive boy has been gallivanting around Toronto with buxom blondes who aren't his wife. We know! We're as shocked as you! A Major ...
About Last Night ...
What you missed while battling Gamera ... • NBA: Dan-iel Gi-b-son? Cavaliers even series with Pistons 2-all. • MLB: Balk this way ... give it up ladies and gentlemen for Giants reliever Armando Benitez! Mets 5. Giants 4. • Tennis: Roddick now free to sample all the exotic cheeses he wants....
To Watch Tonight
What to watch as the jerk store calls to say they're running out of you ... • MLB: San Francisco at New York Mets. Willie Mays' loyalties are divided. [ESPN] • NBA: Playoffs, Eastern Conference finals, Game 4, Detroit at Cleveland. Remember when Shaq and Kobe used to play games in late May? [TNT] • ...
Hey, Better Than Shaq And The Fu-Schnickens
From our pal Orson at The Fanhouse comes this old promotional video for the Chinese table tennis team. (And don't you dare let us catch you trying to call it "ping pong." These young ping-pongers — dammit! — have a flow quite dope. And they seem very happy to be rapping, that's for sure....
Last Call For All Spelling Bee Bets!
The Scripps Howard National Spelling Bee — so lovingly run down by Mr. Daulerio — begins tomorrow, and, as always, the great minds at Throwing Things will be live-blogging the whole thing. Even though Mike and Mike are calling this thing, we still can't wait: The Spelling Bee remains one of our favo...
Roll On, Big Cheese, Roll On
If it somehow slipped your mind that Monday was the annual Gloucestershire Cheese Roll, don't worry; we're on the story. In the interests of full disclosure, though, we have to tell you that the video above is from last year's event. For this year's results, go here. So much to love in the video, ho...
We Hope You Nailed The Exacta
At the Hollywood Park horse racing track over the weekend, they tried the above gimmick. Ignoring the rather disturbing "bikini women as racing animals" undertone — the runners don't even seem to have names, including "Blazin' Blondie" and "Kieska" — we can't quite get past the announcer's "most of ...
Jose Canseco, Keeping Us Entertained For Nearly A Quarter Of A Century
Oh, 'tis a sad, sad day indeed when one is outwitted by Jose Canseco. As SportsbyBrooks so dutifly reported over the weekend, the man who once had a baseball bounce off his noggin for a home run has apparently convinced USA Today columnist Michael McCarthy that his non-existent TV reality show, Win ...
How To Detract Attention From Your Attractive Teenage Daughter
Problem: Nasty bloggers are spreading your 18-year-old pole vaulting daughter's picture across the Internets. (They can send all the letters to Ufford they want, but you can still find the picture here and here and about a million other places.) Solution: Scream your lungs out about it on the front ...
The Spurs, And The Playoffs, Are All About The Flop
If you needed concrete proof why many NBA fans have been dreading seeing the Spurs in the NBA Finals, last night's win over the Jazz provided it. It was a succession of flops, plods, slaps, free throws and Manu Ginobili. We know some just call this winning basketball; we think it's sucking all the l...
About Last Night
What you missed while enjoying the new side of Darth Vader... • NBA: Spurs lead Jazz 91-79 after three quarters in their ... wait, what? That's a final? • NHL: Year of the Duck ... Anaheim takes 1-0 lead over Senators. • MLB: Milestone for the Braves! No, Cox wasn't ejected; it was Jones' 350th home...