w Page 5289 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Stanley Cup Finals Pants Party: Ducks Vs. Senators
We're taking Memorial Day off, as you've surely noticed — though we're excited LeBron and the Jazz have given us something to pay attention to — but we are doing one post: A preview of the Stanley Cup Finals. They drop the puck tonight at 8 p.m. ET, with the Anaheim (Not Mighty) Ducks against the Ot...

One Series Is Alive ... Can We Make It Two?
As close as this series has been so far, we're just one Pistons victory away from it being totally lopsided. They've been so close on the road, most people believe the Cavs will be able to take at least a game at home. Except for Rasheed Wallace, who would lead you to believe that if the Pistons try...

To Watch Tonight...
• 8:00, TNT. NBA Playoffs. Detroit Pistons @ Cleveland Cavaliers. Another trip inside the playoff mind of Damon Jones. • 8:00, ESPN. MLB. Cleveland Indians @ Detroit Tigers. I can't help but root for a guy named Fausto. • 8:00, Comedy Central. Movie. Friday. Playing with my money is like playing wit...

Surprisingly, Norm Stewart Doesn't Speak Jive
Not that the black people in the video have anything to be particularly proud of, but ... Dear Lord, the white people. Coach Norm Stewart raps, and he's not the worst one. Greg Church, you're going to burn in hell for this....

To Watch Tonight...
• 8:00, ESPN2. NASCAR. Busch Series Carquest Auto Parts 300. I hope they let that stripper watch from her cell. • 8:30, ABC. NBA Playoffs. San Antonio Spurs @ Utah Jazz. I miss you, Hubie Brown. • 10:00, PPV. UFC 70. Chuck Liddell vs. Quinton Jackson. I'm pretty sure that Jimmy Snuka could take eith...

Why Yes, You Can Interest Caron Butler In Some Cake And Ice Cream
Caron Butler's been to both ends of the birthday party spectrum in the last year. Of course, there was Gilbert Arenas's blow-out, complete with ice sculpture, Busta Rhymes, and the Arenas Express Card....

They Grow Up So Fast These Days
Meet Malcolm Sheppard, defensive tackle for the Arkansas Razorbacks. According to Loser with Socks, that's Malcolm one year ago, and Malcolm today....

Most NASCAR Owners Started This Way
Because she adds to what already could be the most historic weekend ever for women in auto racing, let's take a second to appreciate the "NASCAR stripper."...

Of Ping Pong Balls And Dogfights
• A-Rod likes his balls. • Carl Monday remains unstoppable. • Clinton Portis likes it when dogs fight. • Dan Shanoff live blogged the draft lottery, and it was not a happy night for Celtics fans. • AJ Hawk will be more careful about wedding photographers in the future. • NBC switches from playoff ov...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch as Hurley comes barreling into the living room in a van ... • Boxing: Lightweights, Anthony Peterson vs. Luis Ernesto Jose; junior welterweights, Lamont (Not Anthony) Peterson vs. John (Harper's Ferry) Brown, at Washington, D.C. [ESPN2] • College softball: NCAA Division I tournament, s...

Probably Just Best To Stay In The Tunnel, Ma'am
What happens when a Canadian attempts to sing the U.S. National Anthem? Nothing short of comedy gold, that's what. We don't know exactly how old this is, or what game it's from, but we've seen enough boring renditions of our country's cherished song to wish that they'd do it this way every time. Any...

We Know Where Lassie Will Be This Weekend
What's coming up in the world of minor league baseball ... we proudly present you with Rick Chandler's Minor Enterprise!...

The Future Of Sports Can Be Found On Google Patents
Using the invaluable Google Patent Search, the fine folks at Winning The Turnover Battle have dug up the most intriguing and odd sports patents making their way through the wacky inventors pipeline. Our favorite, the No Hang Basketball Net, is pictured....

Fight! Fight! Fight! Fig ... Never Mind, You Missed It
Notes on a day in baseball ......

To Watch Tonight
What to watch as you realize "Georgia Rule" may be the worst movie ever made ... • MLB: New York Mets at Atlanta. We miss the good ol' days with Ted and Jane in the stands. [TBS] • NBA: Eastern Conference finals, Cleveland at Detroit, Game 2. The perfect lead-in for Without a Trace. [TNT] • Soccer: ...

Perhaps This Was What Drugged George Foreman
So, in Cincinnati, this dad and his son decided to move their punching bag, and, on a whim, figured they'd find out, you know, what's actually in a punching bag....

The End Of An Online Sports Legend
Back before we started this site, when we were just thinking about it, we scoured the Internets to see which sports sites, we thought, were doing it right, sites we'd want to pattern ourselves after. One of the first ones we loved was Batgirl, author Anne Ursu's playful, cute and hilarious ode to al...

Somewhere Out There, There's An Elephant With Your Name On It
A few commenters mentioned this yesterday, and we think it's a fair question: When is it OK to laugh? The guy we wrote about who plummeted 75 feet off a cliff in his golf cart was, after all, a real person, with a family and pets and an active Netflix account. But the first thing we thought of when ...

About Last Night ...
What you missed while, as an old R.E.M. fan, getting obsessed with this site ... • MLB: Oliver! Perez denies Braves extra gruel yet again, leading Mets to 3-0 win. • NFL: Keyshawn Johnson retires to work on ESPN catchphrases. • MLB: It's Magglio Ordonez time! Tigers snap Angels' six-game win streak....

Jason Giambi Is The Only Man Who's Honest About Steroids
We find it incredibly strange that Jason Giambi is, once again, back at the forefront of the drugs-in-baseball debate. After all, has there ever been a more effective advertisement for the benefits of performance enhancing drugs than Jason Giambi?...