wake-up-deadspin Page 17 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Dueling Mullets Welcome You To Day One Of The NHL Playoffs
Your morning roundup for April 13, the day Justin Bieber reminded us that the Middle East is still fucked up....

Sterger On <em>GMA</em>: Never Met Brett Favre, Never Got Paid, Betrayed By Blogger
Your morning roundup for April 12, the day we remembered how Jeff Buckley's death was a more significant event than that guy from Nirvana's to some folks but this won't help that argument....

And When It Was All Over, Rory McIlroy Sought Solace In The Arms Of Vince McMahon's Kid
Your morning roundup for April 11, the day we remembered that Sidney Lumet also directed The Wiz....

A Bunch Of Guys Who Dyed Their Hair Blondish Won The NCAA Hockey Championship Last Night
Your morning roundup for April 10, the day a Virginia elementary school principal assures you the fourth-grade teacher didn't really put black and mixed-race students up for sale....

Even The Top Seed In The Playoffs Isn't Good Enough For This Expressive Bulls Fan
Your morning roundup for April 9, the day it became painfully evident that knowledge gleaned from the Old Testament and YouTube videos do not a professional at-home circumcisionist make....

College Kid Who Cried "Coach Attacked Me" Apparently Decided To Steal Two Beers From The Phillies
Your morning roundup for April 8, the day the Associated Press union decided to stick it to The Man, with whom it's negotiating a new contract, by not promoting stories on Facebook and Twitter next week. Consequences will never be the same....

Real Men Support The Cleveland Indians By Kissing One Another On Live Television
Your morning roundup for April 7, the day that attempted courtroom eye-gouging became a no-no....

Blackhawks Wing Brouwer Whiffs Badly On This Hit, Injures Shoulder
Your morning roundup for April 6, the day Netflix struck an exclusive streaming deal with the Derek Jeter of TV....

This Year's "One Shining Moment" Includes Very Few Moments From The Title Game
Your morning roundup for April 5, the day Michael Jackson took watch over Fulham FC's stadium....

Richard Dent Has Some Amazing Golf Pants
Your morning roundup for April 4, the day an orangutan threw up....

The Kentucky Wildcats Refused To Go Down Without A Fight Or An Internationally-Televised Nut Tap
Your morning roundup for April 3, the day it became clear that 16-year-old girls at meth labs hope you have rabies....

Dennis Rodman Recognizes The Importance Of Family
Your morning roundup for April 2, the day that the color starts returning to the knuckles of passengers and crew on Southwest Flight 812, the plane with a three-foot hole in its side....

It Took A Self-Proclaimed "Hockey Luvin Homo" To Make A Canucks-Kings Game Noteworthy
Your morning roundup for April 1, the day you are permitted to seek vengeance against anybody who you think has wronged you, with no legal ramifications whatsoever....

Today's The Day Baseball Fans Everywhere Except Pittsburgh Dream Of World Series Victory
Your morning roundup for March 31, the day a Bellaire, Ohio chair mourns the obese man who sat upon it for the past two years, leaving more than skin behind....

VCU Has Now Forced Its Unbearable Victory Song Upon Us
Your morning roundup for March 30, the day Peter Venkman signed on to play FDR....

Chad Ochocinco's Soccer Career Gets Shown A Red Card
Your morning roundup for March 29, the day we got arrested for going helicopter waterskiing....

The Weeping Kansas Jayhawk, In Happier Times
Your morning roundup for March 28, the day Lindsay became the artist formerly known as Lindsay Lohan....

Let's Start The Day With A Story About Kindness
Your morning roundup for March 27, the day people continue to concern themselves with Dennis W. Peterson losing his front teeth at a Hooters....

Richmond Fought The Good Fight Against Kansas Until The Game Started
Your morning roundup for March 26, when James Corley of Conroe, Texas mulls the misfortune of not stopping after his 15th DUI conviction. Now, he'll have 99 years to practice counting to 1,030....

Jimmer Left The Court With A Bandage On His Chin, But Kyle Singler Probably Saw His Mom Crying
Your morning roundup for March 25, the day rockhopper penguins fight for their oil-slicked lives....