And When It Was All Over, Rory McIlroy Sought Solace In The Arms Of Vince McMahon's Kid

Your morning roundup for April 11, the day we remembered that Sidney Lumet also directed The Wiz.

• After he Greg Norman'd the back nine at Augusta — and memorably played No. 10 by way of someone's crawlspace — Rory McIlroy was comforted by a guy everyone is certain was Shane McMahon. This makes no sense at all.

• A female reporter for the Bergen Record was denied entry to the Augusta National locker room. A Masters media person later apologized, calling it a "complete misunderstanding." Of course, as our old pal Dash notes, this is an outfit that has a complete misunderstanding every day of the year.

• Charl Schwartzel's father fought the urge to consume psychoactive drugs and instead watched his son's triumphant final round:

I was going to take a [sleeping] pill but my wife wouldn't let me. We watched it all — I still haven't gone to bed.

• The Pittsburgh Tribune-Review follows up on that Pirates fan who was clubbed and Tased at Saturday's game. Watch the video again, if you have the stomach for shock-torture videos, and then try and square it with the cops' account:

"We both feared for our safety," city detective Francis Rende wrote in a criminal complaint filed yesterday.

I'm sorry, but I fail to see how a drunk at a ballpark is ever anything more than a common nuisance, and I really don't see how this dumbass in particular constituted such a threat that he had to be subjected to electric pain compliance.

• The WSJ apologizes for Photoshopping this "humorous" sign into the hands of a Phillies fan.

• A Magic-Bulls series is going to be fun.

• Our friend Bubbaprog over at Mocksession fisks Dan Le Batard's Sunday column about the NCAA (which, I'll just note, was right in the general sense if crappy about the particulars).

• Speaking of which, the NCAA won't let its schools subscribe to Rivals.com, and those that did apparently have to report a secondary violation, and the lost purity of the recruiting process now has been blessedly restored.

A few stories you might've missed this weekend.

Statuary: The University of Florida unveiled three statues on Saturday: Steve Spurrier, Danny Wuerffel, and Tebow Himself.

Crime: In which we find out that the South African rugby player accused of attacking three men with an axe for allegedly gang-raping his daughter did not actually have a daughter.

Tableau: The scene at the Texas Motor Speedway this weekend.

Top image via Mocksession