war Page 207 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Slipping And Tripping In Warren Sapp's Hometown
You're familiar with Dark Side of the Locker Room. Consider this the THX Edition of Dark Side. Our storyteller is Padgett Powell, author of Edisto, The Interrogative Mood, and the following dispatch from Plymouth, Fla., which was spiked by ESPN....

Last Night's Winner: Football Dorks
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like nerds who get excited about tender offers, no-trade clauses, and transaction wires. It may be the offseason, but not for restricted free agent hounds....

Tailpipe: "He Didn't Seem The Least Bit Interested In Hugging Her Curves"
We recently discovered the incredible phenomenon of NASCAR-themed romance fiction, stories filled with passion and grease and beautiful people being driven swiftly to ecstasy and Victory Lane alike. What follows is a brief selection from one such tale....

Howard Stern Prank Caller Fools ESPN
SportsCenter was so thrilled to get "Brian Westbrook" on the phone, they skipped a very important step: making sure it was actually Westbrook, and not a Stern disciple expressing his desire to worship Stern's prostate....

Josh Howard: Party Monster
Howard might have been jumping for joy inside when he got traded to Washington. Not because the Wizards are any good, but because it was in Washington last month that he drank so much, he couldn't play the next day....

Shaq, Dwight Howard Resolve Nerdiest Beef Ever
Howard: "[T]here's no battle of nicknames. I mean, if he wants to be Superman, he can be Superman. But I never tried to steal that title from him or take away anything that he's done for the game." [ESPN]...

Arnold Schwarzenegger Has A Question For His Golf Partner: "When Was Your Last Blow Job?"
Via Wei Under Par comes this amusing tale of golfing with the California governor, who apparently behaves as coarsely on the links as he does, well, everywhere else....

Lady Makes Left Turns, Acquits Self Nicely; Apparently A Huge Step Forward For Entire Gender
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Warren Sapp Questioned Over Some Domestic Violence Something Or Other
Tough couple days for former members of The U and former Dancing With The Stars contestants. Oh, and NFL Network employees, actually. [TMZ]...

This February, Hines Ward Screws The Pooch
How is Hines Ward spending his Super Bowl week? As a celebrity judge for the Dog Bowl, picking which performed the best football-related trick. How is it so far, Hines? "Oh, man, it definitely stinks, to be honest." [Pittsburgh Post-Gazette]...

Dwight Howard's Baby Mama Is The Early Star Of Super Bowl Week
Yesterday's big Super Bowl throwdown: a pool party thrown by T.O., Chad Ochocinco and Ludacris. Strange enough, without the showstopping appearance of the woman involved in a custody battle with Dwight Howard....

When A Giant Bear Suit Is His Only Home
The surest sign this recession has touched everything we love: even our mascots are now homeless....

Stories That Don't Suck: Salinger, A Georgian's Burden, Gary Hart And The Thank-You-For-Nots
Every week, I'll excerpt a handful of stories — old and new, sports and otherwise, relevant and merely sublime — that I urge you to read for one reason or another. Send any suggestions to [email protected]....

If MLB Had Relegation, This Would Be Quite The Battle
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Gregg Williams Pretty Much Wants The Saints To Destroy Peyton Manning
Gregg Williams, highly decorated defensive coordinator of the New Orleans Saints, appeared on 104.5 The Zone's new "3 Hour Lunch" and laid out the WhoDats strategy against Manning: knock him out of the game....

When Prank Wars Go Wrong (Update)
Most of you remember College Humor's hilarious half-court shot prank at a Maryland game a couple years ago. FOX4KC reports one area high school attempted a recreation, but was ill-prepared for the one-in-a-million chance the prankee would actually make it....

Conan Plays The Lovable Loser, But On The Court As Well?
Conan O'Brien might have some downtime coming up. So the Washington Generals, they of the decades-long losing streak, have reached out and offered him a starting spot....

Sports Fella Summons His Inner Black Guy For LeBron James Column, With Humorous Results
Bill Simmons watched LeBron James play basketball in person and he's very excited about it. We're talking 3,144 words of excitement and awe and Witnessing. Then he some how managed to go overboard beyond his usual overboarding....

Taiwan CGI'ers Take On Leno vs. Conan
Fresh off interpreting the Tiger Woods follies, Taiwan's considerable technological might comes to bear on the late night wars. Except Jay, Conan and Zucker are superheroes here, for some reason. This medium is the future of journalism, by the way....
