washington Page 107 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Andray Blatche Made Pitiful "Team Building Workout" T-Shirts For His Wizards Teammates
And then SB Nation's Jon Bois wrote a one-act play about it. If you only read a single one-act play today, this should be it: "TEAMMATE 2. This... workout? You made us shirts for a workout?" [SB Nation]...
Rashard Lewis Is "Willing To Sacrifice" Himself For The NBA Owners' Sins
In 2007, chronic underachiever Rashard Lewis signed a six-year, $118-million contract with the Orlando Magic. Then, last December, the Magic unloaded Lewis onto the Washington Wizards in exchange for their own chronic underachiever, Gilbert Arenas. Arenas had a six-year, $111-million contract at the...
How Dan Snyder Is The Elvis Of NFL Owners
Yes, you may have read recently that Washington Redskins owner dismissed his dumbass libel lawsuit against the Washington City Paper after admitting that he had never read the story in question. Craggs suggested this was because Dan Snyder was a "churlish little shitbag vulgarian." But perhaps he is...
Poll: 54 Percent Of Washington D.C. Sports Fans Disapprove Of Daniel Snyder
"Twenty seasons after the Redskins won their last Super Bowl, just more than half of area sports fans say they view the team favorably. But more than a third have negative feelings about the hometown football team, according to a new Washington Post poll, and fans hold even stronger negative views ...
Dead Team Walking: A Night Of Suffocating Solitude With The 2011 New York Mets
I went to the Mets-Nationals game last night, and I'm not sure why. I have some idea why: first Dom taunted the staff about its lackluster Mets attendance, and then I taunted myself about September baseball. The weather in New York was splendid, too, the kind of serene, cloudless 70-degree fare that...
The 2011 MLB Rookie Hazing Costume Collection
Forcing rookies to dress in costume is an MLB tradition that's as childish as it is time-honored. A gloriously dumb reminder that most baseball players are manchildren, forever stuck in high school. We are too; it's a major reason baseball players are perhaps easier to connect with than athletes in ...
This Evening: The Nationals' Rookies, Hazed To Dress As Smurfs, With Stephen Strasburg As Papa Smurf
Your p.m. roundup for Sept.12, the day Shirley the orangutan quit smoking. Photo courtesy @JesusFloresN26, via Larry Brown Sports. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....
Help Us Finish "The Snydering" (Our Satirical, Non-Libelous Dan Snyder Group Fiction)
As you may have heard, Dan Snyder's dumbass libel suit against the Washington City Paper is no more. Which means we will no longer be posting a daily link to the story that so enraged Snyder (and which he failed to read). But we still have to wrap up The Snydering, our satirical, non-libelous Dan Sn...
Presenting Details Culled From The Heroic, Romantic Tale Of How Dan Snyder Courted Mike Shanahan
There's a story in today's Washington Post headlined "Washington Redskins: How Daniel Snyder found his man in Mike Shanahan."...
Daniel Snyder Finally Dismisses His Dumbass Libel Lawsuit Against The Washington City Paper
Let this serve as We Are All Dave McKenna CCXVIII ......
Dan Snyder Is Suing <em>Washington City Paper</em> Over A Story He Has Never Read, Because Dan Snyder Is A Prick
Here's proof that Dan Snyder, the Redskins' churlish little shitbag vulgarian of an owner, runs a lawsuit the way he runs a football team. From a Q&A with The New York Times Magazine:...
Well-Meaning Nats Fan Breaks Out The "HE'S BACK KKK" Jersey For Stephen Strasburg's Return
I get it. We're all very excited about Strasburg's return from Tommy John surgery, and he did what he could by making one of them a backwards K. But, he couldn't have added an extra K? Or eliminated the space between them and "back?" Or, even better, not had the jersey made in the first place? [DC S...
Florida A&M Basketball Player Fatally Stabbed, Apparently By Her Girlfriend
Shannon Washington, an All-American transfer who was expected to play point guard for the Florida A&M University women's basketball team this season, died early today after being stabbed in the neck during an argument in her Tallahassee apartment. A 20-year-old woman visiting her was arrested and c...
We're Sick Of Joe Theismann All Over Again
It's difficult not to pity Redskins fans, who, in addition to being Redskins fans, have to hear Joe Theismann talk about preseason football during preseason television broadcasts. And last night, just after Brandon Banks ended an otherwise splendid punt return by flipping the ball out of his hand ...
Today In Shameless Corporate Behavior: The Redskins Hawk Obsolete Donovan McNabb Souvenir Cups
First, Dan Snyder sold Redskins fans the old peanuts he got from a bankrupt airline, as Dave McKenna mentions in "The Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder." (You have just experienced "We Are All Dave McKenna CCX.") Now Snyder is charging fans at FedExField $6 for Donovan McNabb soda cups. Oh, ...
Whoever Broke Into Chris Cooley's Art Gallery Did Not Care Much For The Art
Local police in Leesburg, Va. are searching for the suspect that broke into Chris Cooley's art gallery on South King Street early Friday morning. Thankfully, no art or pottery was stolen in the burglary. More importantly, though, Chris Cooley owns an art gallery....
Now Comes The District Of Columbia To Protest The Dumbassness Of Dan Snyder's Dumbass Libel Suit
It was always going to come to this. After being abused by Dan Snyder for over a decade, DC is finally fighting back. The city's Attorney General this week intervened in Snyder's increasingly desperate case against the Washington City Paper, arguing, more or less, that the wee Redskins owner is a ti...
The Nationals Are Now Using Their Mailing List To Send Fans Ads For Discount Furniture
Damn it, Bob of Bob's Discount Furniture. We expected more out of you. Never mind that you already advertise during Mets and Red Sox games. The Nationals? Really?...
Javaris Crittenton Allegedly Killed That Lady Because Someone Stole $55k Of Jewelry From Him
From the AP: "[Crittenton] appeared to be retaliating for being robbed of $55,000 worth of jewelry, police said. [...] Crittenton told police he and a friend were leaving a barbershop around 10:50 p.m. April 21 when two teenagers surprised them as they returned to their car, according to a police re...
A Former Six Flags Employee Contributes To Our Satirical, Non-Libelous Dan Snyder Group Fiction
Consider this your daily link to Dave McKenna's "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," but here it is again for good measure. We'll post this until Dan Snyder's dumbass libel suit is dosed with a few micrograms of polonium-210. (For those of you keeping track, this is "We Are All Dave McKenna ...