washington Page 138 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Well, Look Who's Back!
That's right, folks: You thought the beat slowed down, but with Clinton Portis, the beat just don't slow down....
Arenas Of The Absurd
We're rapidly coming to the point, we think, where we can place pictures of Gilbert Arenas and Michael Jackson side by side, and point to Arenas and say "He's the eccentric one." (Though Gilbert is decidedly more charming and, uh, a little less creepy, we think.) The latest out of Washington D.C. ...
Clinton Portis Hangs Up The Wacky Glasses
There's a reason that you must wait five years until after your career is over to be elected to most professional sports Halls of Fame; it looks strange to have a Hall of Famer out there running around like everybody else. It seems beneath them, somehow....
Does This Mean Jay-Z Has To Rename His Club?
Forty. Forty. Forty. There was a time in the not-too-distant past when seeing that word three times in a row would mean that I had 120 ounces of this garbage coursing through my veins. Today, however, it represents the remarkable accomplishment of Alfonso Soriano, becoming the first ever member of t...
Must Be Sittin' In The Front Row!
Earlier this week, we heard rumors of a fan and his girlfriend / wife / mistress / crossdresser, while in the top level of the mostly empty RFK Stadium, uh, enjoying themselves in a way that you can't exactly enjoy yourself in the crowded Yankee Stadium bleachers. We weren't going to run anything ab...
GW Hoops Coach Just Can't Wait To Turn Head And Cough (Or Whatever It Is They Do These Days)
Thanks to the increasingly indispensible DC Sports Bog, we have the rare opportunity to see the head coach of a major college basketball franchise pretty damned excited to get himself a prostate exam....
Hey, Let's Play Two Every Monday!
While we acknowledge that the "Monday Night Football" crew might still have some bugs to iron out, as evidenced by this inventive description of new Vikings offensive lineman Steve Hutchinson, on the whole, it was a pretty smooth night of football, considering it went for almost seven hours....
Kornheiser, You're Being Glib
We mean no offense to Redskins fans, but when your owner is hosting Tom Cruise in his luxury box — when he's staying at your owner's house — we kind of think that maybe you deserve to lose....
NFL Pants Party: NFC East
People are saying that this division is so stacked that it's a pity someone has to finish last. We say think it's a pity someone has to finish first....
Shuler Dangerously Close To Returning To Washington
So remember how former Redskins "quarterback" Heath Shuler is running for Congress? Well, it turns out, he actually is making serious gains in the polls, to the point that he's one of Democrats' key hopefuls for their attempt to take over the House of Representatives in the November elections....
Finally, Daniel Snyder Finds A Colleague Shorter Than He Is
So you know how Tom Cruise — he's an actor, been in a few movies, kind of squirrely, if you ask us — got fired by his studio recently and said he would find an independent financier for his future projects....
NFL Season Preview: Washington Redskins
We are officially less than a month before the start of the NFL season, so it's probably time to start previewing the monster. The key to the NFL's success — other than fantasy football and gambling, of course — is the rabid nature of its fans. That is to say: You don't see a lot of people painting ...
Chris Cooley's Pyrrhic Victory
The good news for Redskins TE Chris Cooley in last years game against Dallas is that he busted loose for three touchdowns in a 35-7 victory. The bad news was that in one of Cooley's four fantasy leagues, as noted here in the Washington Post, his fantasy opponent started Cooley against him. Cooley's ...
It's A General Manager Blood Feud!
We don't mean to imply that when you're screwed over by Washington Nationals GM Jim Bowden, it might be time to re-evaluate one's career choices, but ......
"Interests: Redskins, Clubs And GETTIN' DRUNK"
It just wouldn't be the NFL without some truly obsessed, frightening fans, and we've got some pretty worthy ones in the Dead Tree Crew, backers of the Washington Redskins and almost certainly the type of guys who beat up Daniel Snyder in high school....
Finally Making Some Money Off Southeast Jerome
Fully capitalizing on something it stumbled across last season, the official Redskins site Redskins.com is now selling T-shirts adorned with every Clinton Portis character from his press conferences last year. Those who were with us last season will remember our schoolgirl crush on Portis, particu...
God, Training Camp Is So Disgusting
Far be it from us to tell any football team how to run their business, particularly during the big petri dish of sweat and blood and all kinds of other disgusting things in the midst of training camp, but we suspect a new policy the 'Skins have put into place might have been worthwhile to institut...
Jim Bowden Knows When To Hold 'Em
So the big story of yesterday's trade deadline, as tends to be the case, turned out to be what not happened: Washington Nationals general manager Jim Bowden hung on to impending free agent Alfonso Soriano rather than flipping for prospects, or cash, or beans, or whatever. Because the Natinoals are...
Daniel Snyder Appreciates Your Checkbook
We have always found the notion of Fan Appreciation Days amusing. Even though every single salary of every single player in every single sport is paid for exclusively by fans — whether it be tickets, merchandise, cable bills, whatever — big-time sports still feel the need to acknowledge the fans o...
The Return Of Portis' Head
We supposed part of us should be depressed by the news that Clinton Portis is taking his strangely brilliant "characters" from last season's Redskins press conferences and using them to shill for the NFL Network, but we can't quite summon up much outrage. Honestly? We're just happy to see the char...