washington Page 140 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
A Few Yards Of Felt, A Lifetime Of Nightmares
Hey kids, want this fella at your next birthday party or family get-together? It's Screech, the loveable mascot for the Washington Nationals. Screech won't harm you! Come back — fleeing headlong through heavy traffic like that is dangerous! Hey, it's Screech ... don't cry! ......
The Final Wake Of Southeast Jerome
To, at last, close the book on our man Clinton Portis and all his press conference personas from the last year, the man himself has finally updated his personal Web site with a detailed timeline, with biographical sketches, of each fraction of his tortured soul....
Redskins vs. Seahawks - 4th Quarter
• Hey, a 52-yard gain by the Redskins. All on one play. They are serious about cracking that 200-yard barrier today....
Redskins vs. Seahawks - 3rd Quarter
• It's official... Shaun Alexander won't be returning. Perhaps I'm crazy, but this doesn't seem like that big of a negative for the Seahawks. The Redskins aren't going to let anyone run on them today, be it Shaun Alexander, Maurice Morris, or Curt Warner. Now, they've got to put the game in the ha...
Redskins vs. Seahawks - 2nd Quarter
• Damn... Seattle WR Darrell Jackson's return is also questionable. He took a knee in the back. Losing Darrell Jackson and Shaun Alexander in the first 15:00 of play is a nightmare scenario for the Seahawaks....
Redskins vs. Seahawks - 1st Quarter
• Twenty-seven straight days of rain in Seattle? That's just disgusting. The Seahawks better win, because between the rain and the presence of Tony Siragusa, half of the city's population is probably already on suicide watch....
Playoff Pants Party! Redskins at Seahawks
Snore. Anybody else smell craptastic blowout on this one? Even though the Seahawks are notorious bed-shitters when it comes to the playoffs, it seems almost impossible for them to lose this game. Yes, the Redskins defense is great, Greg Williams is a multi-millionaire genius, and the offense is...hm...
He Stands Before You. Clinton. Simply Clinton.
If the real sports world were like the Deadspin sports world, someone like Dennis Rodman or Joe Pepitone would be popping open some champagne this morning, 1972 Dolphins-style: The Clinton Portis madness streak has finally come to an end....
Sean Taylor Needs To Practice His Spitting
If you watched last weekend's Redskins-Buccaneers game, you saw Washington safety Sean Taylor ejected for spitting on Tampa Bay running back Michael Pittman, and you know when you spit on a Marine who has been known to drive his Hummer into vehicles that contain his wife and child, there will be r...
Gheorghe Muresan Will Destroy All Bloggers
Apparently, former Washington Bullet/Billy Crystal co-star Gheorghe Muresan does a lot of meet-and-greets at Wizards game, and blogger Mark Pike was one of them and sent us this picture....
Redskins Surprisingly Effective Car Salesmen
With the Redskins improbably advancing to the NFL's Final Eight, we're obviously going to be ratcheting up the Clinton Portis coverage even more than we already have, if that's not terrifying enough for you. As a little appetizer, though, we present you this gaggle of advertisements for Easterns A...
NFL Playoff Roundup: Riiiiipppppp!
• Honestly, we know this was covered all weekend, but man, that Carson Palmer thing was the worst playoff moment we can remember. We think Buzzsaw That Is The Arizona Cardinals have it tough; Bengals fans finally get in the playoffs, and two plays in, their Pro Bowl QB tears an ACL and MCL. (Quest...
Redskins vs. Bucs - 4th quarter
• Mike Patrick just said the words, "An exciting muff."...
Redskins vs. Bucs - 3rd quarter
• That's how you get back into a game. First, the Bucs force a 3-and-out with a sack on third down, then a nice punt return, then a very slick offensive drive capped by a Simms TD on a bootleg. That's quality work you did at halftime, Jon Gruden. 17-10 Redskins....
Redskins vs. Bucs - 2nd quarter
• The Redskins front 7 is playing very well, keeping Cadillac Williams in check. In essence, they're putting the game into the hands of Chris Simms. • Tampa Bay gets on the board with a Matt Bryant FG, making the score 14-3 Redskins. This leads to the positively infuriating "Score, Commercial, Kic...
Redskins vs. Bucs - 1st quarter
• Anthony Becht and LaVar Arrington seem to have different levels of respect for the recent accomplishments of their alma maters. Becht announced himself as being from "The 2006 Sugar Bowl Champion West Virginia Mountaineers," while Arrington said he was from "North Hills High." • Chris Hovan has ...
Coach Janky Spanky: Cliffs Notes Version
We know this has already been covered here, but, honestly, we're still so blown away by Clinton Portis' performance as "Coach Janky Spanky" yesterday that we feel obliged to point out the highlights for those of you who haven't had the pleasure of watching it yet. Here's a cheat sheet....
Playoff Pants Party: Redskins Vs. Buccaneers
The NFL playoffs start this weekend, and we can't wait. We'll be previewing all four games throughout the day today....
Portis Becoming Subtle Character Actor
We've witnessed the newest Clinton Portis character, and we have to say, even though the costume leaves much to be desired, it might be our favorite one yet....
Clinton Portis' Supermarket Sweep
Ever wonder what Clinton Portis might do if given $10,000 to spend in a Best Buy in the span of half an hour? Jeez, who hasn't?...