washington Page 17 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
The Skins Are Horrendous, But At Least They're Quick About It
Here is an item that might actually cheer Skins fans about their cheerless excuse for a football team:...
Alex Bregman Was So Close To Stopping Everything
It’s obviously hyperbole to say that a misplay on a tough grounder lost the Astros Game 2 of the World Series. But that six-run seventh inning from the Nationals that broke the 2-2 tie and led them to a 12-3 win was such an intense morale-sapper—for both the Houston team and the formerly rowdy crowd...
Hug Stephen Strasburg More. Continue Hugging Him.
Stephen Strasburg continued his great postseason run last night by throwing six solid innings in Game 2 of the World Series, during which he allowed just two earned runs and struck out seven. You know what that means, don’t you? He got a big hug for his troubles....
After Game 2 Pounding, The Astros Are Up To Their Necks In Doo Doo
The Astros are in big trouble. They lost Game 1 Tuesday night when the Nationals touched up the best pitcher in baseball for five runs, and came into Game 2 needing to scratch out some offense against a rolling Stephen Strasburg in order to salvage a split at home. They got off to a good start on th...
Patrick Corbin Was The Only Choice
Dave Martinez knew it. He knew it by the fourth, when the Astros worked Max Scherzer for 27 pitches, pushing his pitch count on the night to an unsustainable 96 through four, but also he knew it on Monday, when the Nationals manager declined to name a starting pitcher for Game 3 despite having a cle...
Nationals Make Gerrit Cole Look Maybe Not Quite Human, But At Least Humanoid
The combustible Nationals bullpen tried very hard to give this away, but in the end the five runs their hitters put up on terrifying buzzsaw Gerrit Cole held up, and the Nationals escaped Game 1 with a 5–4 victory to snatch away home-field advantage in the World Series.Cole looked very much like his...
Overeager Victor Robles Eats Shit On Badly Mistimed Diving Catch Attempt
The Astros are tough as hell. They jumped out to a 2–0 lead in the bottom of the first against Nationals Game 1 starter Max Scherzer, and have made Scherzer work out of trouble in every inning so far. In the bottom of the third, with the Astros up a run, Yuli Gurriel flared a blooper to shallow left...
Private School That Pocketed Public Rec Center Is Tired Of Being Criticized By Non-Rich People
Class war! Class war!...
A Modest Proposal For The World Series Baseballs
With the World Series upon us, and the magic of the Houston Colt .45s vs. the Montreal Expos preparing to unfold before our satanically red-rimmed eyes, we can sit back, forget the rest of the world its slowly advancing state of entropy and decay and ask ourselves the most existential of questions:...
Mike Leach, Convinced Of His Own Cleverness, Tells Unbearably Long Joke About Lip Reading
Asked Monday evening whether he’s nervous for next week’s matchup against No. 11 Oregon, where four of his former assistants now work, Mike Leach used the opportunity to take a swipe at football coaches so paranoid about their plays being found out that they cover their mouths while talking on the s...
These Photos From A Muddy 49ers-Skins Game Are So Good
San Francisco’s win in Washington may not have been good football, but it was beautiful in its way.At a rainy, sloppy Landover, the Niners slip-slid their way to a 9-0 win that was a wholesomely good time—for the winners, anyway. “It takes you back to being a kid: You’re out there, you’re sloshing a...
Washington Dealt Unsportsmanlike Conduct Penalty For Attempted Camouflage
No. 25 Washington tried something a little bit too cool at home against No. 12 Oregon Saturday afternoon. On a kickoff return after Oregon scored, Washington stashed purple-clad wide receiver Chico McClatcher in the end zone, where he laid down on the field in an attempt to blend in with the purple ...
The Washington Nationals Are The Team Of Destiny, Until They're Not
For the entirety of their brief existence in the nation’s capital, the Washington Nationals have been too insignificant or too lousy or too unlucky or too self-defeating to hate. This is not to say that I haven’t figured out various ways to do it over the years, but also I am not without some intere...
Apologies To This Hockey Child, But I Am His Mother Now
Whether or not to have a child is a complicated and morally questionable decision that each person must weigh carefully. It is a difficult question for most people except for me, because I have decided to adopt this small hockey boy and love him forever. ...
Kyle Shanahan Is Really Going To Enjoy Kicking The Shit Out Of The Skins
San Francisco 49ers head coach Kyle Shanahan was Washington’s offensive coordinator from from 2010–2013. I would say he got to experience one of the darkest eras of D.C. football, but they are all dark. Now he’s the coach of a 5-0 team preparing to take on the 1-5 Skins this weekend, so you can’t bl...
Nationals Complete Sweep Of Cardinals, Nanny Nanny Boo Boo
The Washington Nationals completed their four-game NLCS sweep of the St. Louis Cardinals Tuesday night, 7–4, and advanced to the franchise’s first World Series. They did it with a seven-run first inning, and then mostly held on for dear life, but they had a bunch of help from the Cardinals themselve...
Stephen Strasburg's Teammates Must Keep Hugging Him Until His Icy Heart Melts
Stephen Strasburg kicked ass last night, striking out 12 Cardinals hitters in seven innings of work and leading his team to an 8-1 Game 3 victory. As you can see in the image above, all that hard work was repaid when he entered the dugout after recording his final out of the night and received a gro...
Juan Soto's Goof In Left Was High Comedy, But Marcell Ozuna's Mattered
For my money, the two best highlights of the Nationals’ 8–1 Game 3 win over the St. Louis Cardinals, a result that makes the rest of this series almost a formality, were bloopers. One looked stupid and hilarious and mattered not at all; the other almost looked like a very cool catch, until it didn’t...
Dolphins Win Barf Bowl, Lose To Washington In Final Seconds
So far this season the Miami Dolphins had looked unstoppable on their way to a No. 1 draft pick and Tua Tagovailoa. But their tank rumbled over a potential minefield on Sunday: a matchup with Washington, one of a small handful of teams that might be nearly as bad as the Dolphins, and the only team t...
Don't You Dare Try To Take Adrian Peterson's Touches Away From Him
For all the turmoil there’s been around the Washington football team, it was nice to see a brief moment of firm communication between two teammates in Miami on Sunday. On a second-and-5 from his team’s 35-yard line, quarterback Case Keenum tried to switch the play to something else, yelling “kill ki...