washington Page 32 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
The Nationals Offense Is Junk, But They're Mighty Fun On The Bases
The Nationals are depressing. After another disappointing loss Sunday afternoon they’re a ho-hum 37-31, having just been swept by the crummy and forgettable Toronto Blue Jays. They can’t hit the damn ball: they’re 10th in the National League in runs; they’re a miserable 11th in on-base percentage; n...
The Sad History Of The Skins' Bogus Season Ticket Waiting List
In the least surprising bombshell you’ll read about this week, the Skins have admitted that nobody’s actually waiting for season tickets, despite an alleged waiting list that owner Dan Snyder used to claim had 200,000 people....
Juan Soto Is 19 And Crushing It
Juan Soto is a boy with a man’s bat. With his two–home run night in the Bronx on Thursday, the 19-year-old Nationals outfielder became the fifth youngest player in baseball’s live-ball era with a multi-homer game, and the list (Danny Murphy, Mel Ott, Ken Griffey Jr., Andruw Jones) puts him in some p...
Michael Wilbon: LeBron Should Play For The Wizards So He Can Be Like Jeff Bezos<em></em>
Michael Wilbon, a grumbly shithead who’s spent the better part of this millennium actively torching his own hard-won relevance, has now weighed in on LeBron James’s impending free agency. You may be surprised to learn that Wilbon—who has made it clear multiple times that he thinks D.C. is a “terribl...
Bryce Harper Roughed Up And Bad-Mouthed In Comprehensively Rotten 24 Hours
C.C. Sabathia of the dastardly New York Yankees pegged dear Dinger Lord Bryce Harper in the funny bone in the top of the fifth inning Tuesday, with two men on and the Yankees clinging to a 2-0 lead. Scum! Murder most foul!...
Never Take Your Kids To A Championship Parade<em></em>
I was not born or raised in the D.C. area but all of my children were, and so I felt it was my solemn duty as a Good Sports Dad to take them downtown for the Capitals’ Stanley Cup parade, the first major title parade to take place here in nearly three decades. This was a celebration that was unprece...
Possibly Alexander Ovechkin Might Be Having Too Much Fun, Beer
Last time we checked in on Alexander Ovechkin he was compulsively hoisting the Stanley Cup in various spots around Nationals Park after throwing out a pair of ceremonial first pitches. It was an early afternoon game for the Nats, leaving Ovechkin with a whole evening of freedom. So how’d he spend it...
Alex Ovechkin Lets Go Of Stanley Cup Just Long Enough To Botch Ceremonial First Pitch, Drunkenly Sing "We Are The Champions"
Alex Ovechkin brought the Stanley Cup to Nationals Park today, where he threw out the ceremonial first pitch of Saturday’s Giants-Nationals game. Well, okay, the first two pitches—Ovechkin made a funny mess of the first one:...
Alex Ovechkin's Face Said It All
“This moment...” Alexander Ovechkin started, flanked at the podium by the Stanley Cup and the Conn Smythe Trophy. He never once that I saw looked at the latter, but he kept glancing toward the big one, the one he had kissed and lofted and screamed into and shared with every single one of his teammat...
So Much Cool: My Night Among Joyous And Drunken Caps Fans<em></em>
Tomorrow is a bigass waste of time. I am a grown adult, which means that the majority of my decisions are based around tomorrow. I save money. I go to bed at a reasonable hour. I don’t do crack. Tomorrow dictates a great deal of my actions, which is a shame because today is RIGHT HERE to be celebrat...
The Game Clock Broke In Vegas And Caused Total Chaos
If ever you need confirmation of the theory of general relativity, just watch your team in a Stanley Cup clincher. After Lars Eller scored the go-ahead (and soon to be Cup-winning) goal with 7:37 left, time started doing funny things, depending on who you were rooting for. While those final minutes ...
And Now Let Us Bask In The Radiating Joy Of Euphoric Caps Fans
I am always up for images of sports fans celebrating a championship—the euphoria is contagious, especially when it’s a fan base that hasn’t tasted the glory of a title in a good long while. For a nice appetizer, here’s the celebration on the ice:...
An Emotional T.J. Oshie Describes Winning The Cup In Front Of Father, Suffering Dementia<em></em>
You will get absolutely nowhere if you try to keep the emotion bottled up inside while watching Caps winger T.J. Oshie talk about winning the Stanley Cup with his father in attendance. Oshie’s father is battling Alzheimer’s disease, so big joyous events they can experience together take on added imp...
![Champion Capitals Salute Fans, Especially The One Flashing Them Next To The Glass [NSFW]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/pjkirbanczgbey2solzx.jpg)
Champion Capitals Salute Fans, Especially The One Flashing Them Next To The Glass [NSFW]
The Washington Capitals leveraged excellent teamwork on their way to claiming the Stanley Cup, and that teamwork continued as they took a lap around the arena in Las Vegas tonight, finding one, uh, nakedly enthusiastic fan showing her appreciation for the team in a not-safe-for-work way....
The Capitals Are Finally Champions
This year was different. The Washington Capitals are Stanley Cup champions....
Backstrom To Ovechkin Has Never Been Bigger Or Prettier
It’s 2-1 Washington as I write this, but the goals are coming fast and furious so let’s not spend too much time on this before the score changes. (No shit, Vegas made it 2-2 before I finished writing that sentence.) But the Caps have been scoring some of the prettiest goals of the playoffs—especiall...
Ovechkin And Fleury Say Hello, With Sticks
Alexander Ovechkin’s and Marc-Andre Fleury’s playoff familiarity goes all the way back to 2009. Fleury’s side has won every single one of their series (even if he happened to be on the bench for some of that). That could change tonight, obviously. Even before puck drop, they were sending each other ...
D.C.'s Chinatown Is Sinking Under A Sea Of Red
It has been a long, long while since the last time D.C. had any reason to throw a public sports watch party. With the Caps on a run through the Stanley Cup playoffs, and the weather around town holding up beautifully, Caps watch parties, taking place inside and around the Caps’ Chinatown arena, hav...