Nationals Pitcher Heroically Respects Anthem While Under Attack By Praying Mantis

During the always- sacred pre-game performance of the U.S. national anthem in our nation’s capital, ahead of a game between the Nationals and Braves, Washington pitcher Erick Fedde was faced with an impossible choice. He could continue to stand at attention and give his deepest respects to a dull song about one battle in a stalemated war, or he could defend himself against an attack from a praying mantis, apparently the most communist of insects.

Like any red-blooded American hero, Fedde did his best to ignore the ugly threat while maintaining the appearance of patriotism.

It wasn’t an easy sacrifice, and we can only imagine the icky discomfort Fedde endured in service of his country.

But thank Jesus that the pitcher toughed it out, or baseball could have lost its entire fanbase overnight.