washington Page 62 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Enjoy The Matt Williams Farce While You Still Can
It is a testament to the Washington Nationals’ dysfunction that the dugout fight between Jonathan Papelbon and Bryce Harper almost made sense compared to everything that came after. A team’s for-hire closer trying to choke the league MVP is one thing, but it’s absolutely inexplicable that manager Ma...
Jonathan Papelbon And Bryce Harper Brawl In Nationals Dugout
The Nationals are really deteriorating as their season comes to an end. They somehow have a winning record, but the dugout has gotten downright toxic. Just this week, Papelbon plunked Manny Machado then Bryce Harper called him out for it. Today, tensions boiled over and the two got into a fight in t...
Nationals Cannot Stop Beating Selves, Allow Inside-The-Park Grand Slam
The Nationals really have no one to blame but themselves for probably losing their way out of a chance at the playoffs, and this play from tonight’s game against the 57-96 Phillies is a great example. Here’s Aaron Altherr driving home all three baserunners and himself thanks to a misplayed ball by M...
Oh, Hey, Jonathan Papelbon's Still A Dick
The Nationals got exactly what they expected out of Jonathan Papelbon: a very good closer and an unrepentant asshole with a knack for pissing off his own teammates as much as his opponents. After Papelbon plunked Manny Machado in last night’s 4-3 Baltimore win, it was Bryce Harper, of all people, wh...
Washington Football Fan Group Stars In World's Saddest Vine
I’m not sure what’s going on with Washington’s social media manager today, but there’s a good chance he or she woke up and said something along the lines of, “I’d really like to make the saddest Vine in the history of the internet today.”...
Alex Ovechkin's Birthday Gift Was A Ship–No, Wait, A <i>Sheep</i>
Alex Ovechkin turned 30 yesterday. While that fact jolts you into realizing your own age, let’s check out what gifts the Capitals captain received:...
Nobody Hates The Skins More Than Skins Fans
If you are not already, get used to seeing this sort of thing:...
Washington Would Really Like You To Know About All Of Its Wonderful Navajo Art
This comes to us from a fan who watched Sunday’s Miami-Washington game from a suite inside Washington’s stadium. He tells us that the suites are adorned with various pieces of art, and that the team is very eager to let people know exactly who made the art....
Here, Illustrated, Is Every Nats Fan
Take comfort in your friends....
Matt Williams Fucks Up Again, Gets Booed At His Press Conference
Washington Nationals manager Matt Williams has spent most of the last week doing everything he can to ensure that his team’s slide out of playoff contention continues without a hitch. If his recent handling of the bullpen had Nats fans bashing their heads against walls, last night’s managerial perfo...
Yoenis Cespedes Error Turns Michael Taylor Single Into Little League Grand Slam
Every right-thinking baseball fan is also a Yoenis Cespedes fan—and he has been hitting like Babe Ruth since joining the Mets at the trade deadline—but man this is an absolutely brutal error. ...
The Nats Are On Life Support, And Matt Williams Is Yanking Away At The Plug
Manager Matt Williams isn’t totally to blame for what’s happened to the Nats this season—they are, hands down, the most disappointing team in baseball, and their 93-win over-under from the start of the year is looking more and more hilarious by the day—but that doesn’t mean he shouldn’t be punted in...
Bryce Harper: Nationals Fans Leaving Early Was "Brutal"
Early-September series don’t get much more important than Mets-Nats, not with each game being a two-game swing in the standings and a wild card all but out of reach for the loser. The Mets came to Washington four games up, so for the Nationals, this is basically a playoff series. Bryce Harper wishes...
New York Mets Outlast Washington Nationals In Crucial Fail-Off
The New York Mets woke up this morning with a four-game lead on the second-place Washington Nationals and three games coming up against them directly; these being the Mets, the question of the day was whether they were fucked as of right now, or about to set up some greater act of late-September fuc...
Report: Neurologist Who Switched RG3's Concussion Diagnosis Resigns (UPDATE)
According to a report from Liz Clarke & Mark Maske of The Washington Post, Dr. Robert Kurtzke, the independent neurologist who reversed Robert Griffin III’s concussion diagnosis, then unreversed it a day later, has resigned from the neurological consultant program that works with the NFL and the NFL...
Bryce Harper Scores Four Runs Without Ever Recording An Official At-Bat
That’s Bryce Harper with what I assume is a bored look on his face while standing on base. He did that a lot tonight. ...
Skins Ban Non-Season Ticket Holders From Using Will Call
I was actively hoping I wouldn’t be writing about Washington’s football team again tonight, but they seem to be unable to keep themselves out of the news. Which would be an admirable trait, if it were ever for something positive. ...
A Who's On First Email Exchange With Hapless Skins PR Boss Tony Wyllie (UPDATE)
Earlier tonight, the Washington football team released a statement on behalf of GM Scot McCloughan’s wife Jessica, apologizing for having sent tweets accusing an ESPN reporter of trading sexual favors for access. But just a few hours before releasing the statement, Washington PR svengali Tony Wyllie...
Wife Of Skins GM Apologizes For Accusing ESPN Reporter Of Trading Blow Jobs For Scoops
Yet again setting a new standard for franchise incompetence, the Washington football team has now been humiliated by Jessica McCloughan, wife of general manager Scot McCloughan, having to apologize for accusing an ESPN reporter of giving blow jobs for access....
RGIII Almost Saved Washington, And Then He Didn't
Black Jesus is dead....