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Wrestlemania Kicks Off In Front Of Half-Empty Jerry World After Ticketing Mishap [UPDATE]
Irate fans chanted “LET US IN! LET US IN!” as a stadium ticketing issue kept tens of thousands of pro wrestling fans from entering the stadium in Dallas before tonight’s Wrestlemania kicked off at 6 p.m. local time....

Baseball Is Back And Thank Fucking God
At last, the death-gods have released their cold, icy grip on the United States; the trees are green, the birds are singing, and our greatest sport has returned. While there’s just too much to keep track of in terms of who’s where and what’s what and who’s going to do what and such—FiveThirtyEight, ...

Adrien Broner Tries To Call Out Floyd Mayweather, Turns Self Into Laughingstock
A D.C. crowd featuring mayor Muriel Bowser and Steve Francis scornfully mocked Adrien Broner after the boxer clumsily tried to call a ringside Floyd Mayweather Jr. back into boxing....

Dimitri Payet Is On A Roll
West Ham United took a 2-1 lead against Crystal Palace into the intermission after a Dimitri Payet free kick that rendered Wayne Hennessey completely useless. Payet’s been on fire of late; he had an even more sick free kick earlier this week against Russia....

The Portland Jail Blazers: An Appreciation
Honey, you can’t make it to the top without at some point scraping the cold, hard bottom. For the Portland Trail Blazers, their highest high (not a pun) came during the 1999-2000 NBA season, which they rode all the way to the Western Conference finals for the second year in a row, and almost made it...

You Should Have Sex to Maxwell’s <i>Urban Hang Suite</i>
There’s a handful of artists who universally earn a spot on everyone’s sex playlists. Janet, Sade, Prince, etc. Their slow jams, classic and fuck-to-able, are made for cramming between the likes of the new Rihanna (“Yeah I Said It”) and that one flawless Weeknd song you squirm along to (“Earned It”)...

Adrien Broner, A Dick, Misses Weight, Stripped Of Junior Welterweight Title
WBA junior lightweight champion Adrien Broner, who is a dick, failed to make weight ahead of tomorrow’s title fight against Ashley Theophane, resulting in him being stripped of his belt....

Nick Young Is Done With 2016, You Guys
Here’s a tweet that Lakers guard Nick Young, who has had some problems recently, just sent and then deleted almost immediately:...

Russell Westbrook On Reggie Jackson's Celebration: "Some Real Bullshit"
Last night’s game mattered a hell of a lot more to the Pistons than it did to the Thunder. OKC is locked into the third seed in the West, and rested Kevin Durant and Serge Ibaka. Detroit is sitting in the seven-spot in the East and their odds of making the postseason look good after pulling away fro...

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Aww, Look At These Real Soccer Players Letting The Goalie Score For Once
This is quite remarkable. Not the goal itself—which West Ham’s Adrián scored in a meaningless testimonial match—but the impulse behind it....

Pro Cyclist Antoine Demoitié Dies After Getting Hit By Motorcycle During Race (UPDATE)
Twenty-five year old Belgian cyclist Antoine Demoitié was racing at Gent Wevelgem for Wanty-Groupe Gobert this morning, when he was hit by a race motorcycle after crashing. He was taken to the ICU at a nearby hospital in Lille, France, where his team announced that his condition was “extremely serio...

Brewers Pitcher Will Smith Tore His Knee While Trying To Take Off His Shoes
Spring training is the worst time for a ballplayer to get injured, but for some reason, every spring training injury happens to be a very dumb injury. Last year, we had Michael Saunders stepping on a sprinkler head and tearing his meniscus, Scooter Gennett cutting his finger on a stray shampoo bottl...

These Tweets During Last Night's Mavericks Game Are Probably Going To Cost Mark Cuban Some Money
Mark Cuban complains about everything all the time, which makes him a lovable rogue among boring owners sometimes, and also makes him pretty damn insufferable other times. Last night, when his Mavericks were losing to the Warriors, he did what you or I might do: fire off some tweets. However, unlike...

PSA: You Might Want To Return Any Outstanding VHS Rentals
Of course, it’s unclear exactly how you would return them, considering all but 50 Blockbusters nationwide closed in 2013 (and most independent video stores probably folded long before then). But apparently, holding on to a rented video long after the return date—let’s be honest, long after you even ...

Peeps Are The Worst Seasonal Candy
Easter is upon us. You know this—even if you don’t have a grandmother sending increasingly frantic texts asking what time you’ll be there for dinner on Sunday—because the commercials have all gone pastel and there are goddamn Peeps everywhere. If you don’t care about the religious significance, East...

I'm Getting Married, And I Don't Know What My Name Will Be
Shortly after I got engaged a coworker told me a story about a friend of his. Or maybe it was a friend of a friend, or a cousin, or an allegory. Point is, there was this lady and she was marrying a man with the same last name as hers. While it’s somewhat common and even encouraged in other cultures,...

The NFL And NFLPA's Discipline Discussions Are Going Nowhere, And The Sides Are Squabbling Publicly
In four of the most prominent disciplinary decisions of his career, NFL commissioner Roger Goodell’s chosen punishments were overturned. By Paul Tagliabue in Bountygate, a neutral arbitrator with Ray Rice, and a federal judge with Adrian Peterson and Tom Brady (currently being appealed). It is under...

This Child Is Goose Gossage's Nightmare
If you think today’s big-leaguers are a bunch of disrespectful rapscallions, wait until you get a load of Bryce Harper Jr. over here:...

Thinkfluence Man Pretends To Think Empathy Is Bad
“Against Empathy” makes a hell of a title for a video. It’s bold and spicy! Empathy is bad is quite a strong take, after all, given that empathy—broadly speaking, the capacity to relate to and share the feelings and perspectives of others—is a core, defining trait of humanity, which will tend to be ...