we Page 583 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Deadspin's College Football Top 25 Or So: Later, Sooners
It's time for a new installment of Deadspin's college football rankings. As always, the teams are ranked according to the logic and values of college football, no matter how bizarre or contradictory they may be. ...

Bud Selig Congratulated The St. Louis Cardinals In The Middle Of A Seventh Grade Oral Report
Your morning roundup for Oct. 29, the day we all got tongue-bathed. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

The St. Louis Cardinals Are World Champions
Forgive us for eating our dessert first, as Game Seven despite its inherent drama proved to be bland and lukewarm compared to Thursday night's feast for the senses. The deciding runs were scored with a third inning Allen Craig homer and in a fifth inning during which St. Louis brought two home wit...

This Cardinals Fan's Budweiser Sweater Just Landed On America's Christmas List
Forget that he's providing free advertising for both the Belgian-Brazilian brewing conglomerate and the stadium itself, that sweet knit sweater has America saying not "This Bud's for you" but "How the hell can I get one of those!?" Though personally it reminds me a bit more of this classic:...

Tonight, One Shy Gambler's Impossible Quarter-Million-Dollar-Dream Lives Or Dies
There's probably a good-sized group of folks wandering into the Las Vegas MGM Grand sports book tonight, taking the Cardinals at -125. If they were to throw down $250, it could become $450. A nice chunk, but nothing to wet the bed about....

David Freese: Blue Steel In The Hour Of Chaos, Now In Gif Form
The slide said "inexplicable triple" but the stare said "Game 7." Stay home for the baseball tonight, kids and prepare to talk about it forever....

This Evening: On <em>Around The Horny</em>, Tony Reali Wonders Which "College Undies Will Go Down This Weekend"
Your p.m. roundup for Oct. 28, the day we figured out how to just vanish. H/T to TylerRio for the Reali video. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

The Rangers Should Probably Stop Intentionally Walking Albert Pujols
The Texas Rangers have walked Albert Pujols five times in the first six games of this World Series—all intentionally. Many of these walks are bad ideas! (And not just for the spiritual reasons elucidated of late by Josh Levin and Rob Neyer, among others.)...

Low-Level Sources Close To Pumpkin Ron Washington Say That Pumpkin Ron Washington Is Not Racist, Still Awaiting Word From Pumpkin
An email, received in 24-point font:...

This Is What Happens When Old Drunk Alumni Trash And Poop A Vanderbilt Frat House On Homecoming To The Tune Of $12,000
Vanderbilt held its homecoming weekend last week, and as is tradition, the fraternities hosted alumni brothers for a Saturday night party. At Sigma Alpha Epsilon, they are still surveying the damage....

BREAKING: NBA TO ANNOUNCE MORE CANCELED GAMES, ACCORDING TO HIGHEST-LEVEL LEAGUE EMPLOYEE
DATELINE—TWITTERSPACE After this afternoon's collapse in negotiations, commissioner David Stern is planning to announce more cancellations beyond the first two weeks of the season. Opening night was to be Tuesday; now there won't be November basketball. We're told that low-level team employees with ...

Meme Over: Tim Tebow Ruined Tebowing
It was only yesterday that we were all made aware of Tebowing, and yet its moment of relevance has already passed into the ether, all thanks to Tim Tebow himself. ...

Texas Pumpkins Accused Of Racism Over Ron Washington Blackface Costumes
Two Dallas-area pumpkins have caused a stir over their costume choices for local Halloween contests. The pumpkins, one from Irving-based 21st Century Dental (left) and the other a part of the Dawson & Sodd law firm in Corsicana (right), showed up to a statewide "pumpkin contest" dressed in the offen...

Here's A Thing That's Important: Someone Finally Completed The Storied Quadruple Lutz
Stand back from the body of Alois Lutz, Austria: he's spinning in his grave!...

Return Of The Tack: 27 Counts Of Assault Filed Against High School Football Player
"A judge in Ohio says 27 counts of assault have been filed against a high school football player accused of pricking players from an opposing team with a sharp object during a postgame player handshake... [his] high school team had just won a game in September when the 16-year-old player stuck McCla...

BREAKING: NBA LOCKOUT JUST ABOUT OVER, ACCORDING TO LOW-LEVEL TEAM EMPLOYEES WITH EMAIL ACCESS
After four months, the NBA lockout is in its dying throes, according to multiple team employees who have been informed by the league that business as usual will resume as early as Monday....

David Freese Is Robert Horry
The Classical launches in November, but the cruel folks behind it love baseball way too much to let the World Series pass without comment. Throughout the series, its writers will do a daily diary for Deadspin. Keep tabs on us @Classical....

The Kansas Jayhawks Are Ranked Number Two In Quidditch Heading Into The World Cup
Point being, we cannot wait to see how Bill Self blows this one. [Kansas City Star, h/t Ryan]...

Mizzou Will Join The SEC On Monday, According To SEC's Premature, Accidental Announcement
Missouri became will become the 14th member of the Southeastern Conference (SEC), according to an announcement posted from the future on the conference's website last night that was almost immediately removed....
