we Page 600 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

This Evening: Logan Morrison, Intentional Dong
Your p.m. roundup for Oct. 14, the day the hipster cop came to save the day. Photo via Twitter. And yes, he knew we would post this. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

The Caps And Pens Were Acting So Maturely For A While There
Alex Ovechkin—who once did this—called out Arron Asham for his post-fight gestures, so Asham fired back by calling Ovie a "hypocrite." Meanwhile, Brooks Laich wishes brain-addled players like Jay Beagle weren't coddled so much by the NHL's concussion guidelines. The teams don't meet again until Dece...

Oh, Great, Now Conference USA Is Merging With The Mountain West To Form A 22-Team Conference
Because why the fuck not, at this point? [MWC]...

The Big East: Your New Home For Boise State, Central Florida, Navy, And Air Force Football!
Well, Colorado is east of Idaho, we suppose. And, hey, Thursday night blue turf on ESPN, within, like, a few years. That's something to look forward to, right? Maybe? Anyone? [USA Today]...

Local Girl Scouts Will Have A Pajama Party At Cowboys Stadium, Which Is Apparently Different From A Tony Romo Start
Tipster Patrick sends along notice that there will be the first ever PJ party on the Cowboys Stadium field this evening, beginning at 6 p.m. Dallas time....

MLB Is Sending A Very Sad All-Star Team To Taiwan
MLB has a tradition of sending a band of all-stars to the East after the season ends—to the MLB-Japan All-Star Series, for example. This year the great stars of MLB are headed to Taiwan for a three-game series with the Chinese Taipei national team. Wait a second, these are terrible stars!...

This Photo Of Dominick Cruz's Surgically Repaired Hand Is HOLY SHIT LOOK HOW BIG AND GROSS IT LOOKS
Cruz, UFC's bantamweight champion, broke his right hand en route to earning a unanimous decision against Demetrious Johnson on Oct. 1. He finally got around to having surgery on the hand this week, and our stomachs are all grateful to him for posting what it looked like the following day on Twitter...

Curt Schilling Tears Apart Just About Everyone In Boston
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: Schill's never been afraid to speak his mind....

All Involved In The Vancouver Riots Can Turn Themselves In And Get A Free Massage Or Manicure
Vancouver-area spa empire Eccotique has announced its "Calm Down and De-Stress" promotion, whereby participants in June's Vancouver riots can earn a $50 gift certificate for turning themselves to the Vancouver Police Department....

Cockblocked On A Boat!
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase three heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....

David Stern's "Gut" Is Ruining Christmas For Everyone
The games that you will probably not be watching on Christmas this year are Celtics-Knicks, Heat-Mavs, and Bulls-Lakers, because even though it is only mid-October, the NBA lockout has already ruined Christmas for that small group of people for whom Christmas is about watching three over-hyped NBA g...

Justin Verlander "Gutted Out" "Gritty," "Gutsy" Performance Last Night, Writes Every Sportswriter Everywhere
Justin Verlander threw 133 pitches yesterday, which is a lot, and he gave up four runs on eight hits, which isn't so great. By most standards, he pitched a so-so game. By his standards, he was awful. But because the Tigers won a game they had to win, and because the prevailing narrative calls for Ju...

Today In Pollyannaish Things Written About The NBA Lockout: Only Michael Jordan Can Save Us
Here is the thing that's sometimes hard to grasp when games are being canceled and no end is in sight: everybody wants the lockout to end. No one is actively being greedy or selfish just because they hate you and don't want you to watch basketball. Both sides have demands and one side or both are go...

Photoshop Contest: Ryan Howard At A Food Store In A Motorized Scooter
The internet has been passing around this photo of Ryan Howard for several days, or at least since it was discovered after being tweeted by a fan who snapped it at a suburban Philly Whole Foods. It is at once sadly and hilariously emblematic of the sudden conclusion to the Phillies' season....

Waitress Says Minor Leaguer Groped Her, Actually Said "Do You Know Who I Am? I Play For The ValleyCats"
Right, maybe we have glorified athletes too much in this country when a Short-Season A ballplayer feels empowered enough to pull the old "Do you know who am?" That's what one member of the Tri-City ValleyCats (a Houston Astros affiliate) allegedly told a waitress after grabbing her chest and behind ...

Brandon Marshall's Game Plan This Week Calls For Getting Ejected And Maybe Fighting, Just So You Know
Brandon Marshall has given us a reason to talk about the Dolphins for something other than how terrible they are, and it's because of what he intends to do during Monday night's game against the Jets. Apparently Marshall hasn't been himself during the season's first four games, at least according t...

SprtsCntr: Tony Romo Gets Petulant; Plus, More Wisdom From Eduardo Perez
What is ESPN prattling on about right now? We condense your morning SportsCenter to its essence....

Tony Romo Boldly Predicts That The Cowboys Will Win A Super Bowl "At Some Point"
There was Namath, there was Ryan, and then there was Romo: "This team is going to win a Super Bowl at some point. It's going to be exciting when that time comes." Smart move here. You really can't go wrong when your deadline is some time between now and, say, the apocalypse. [PFT]...

A Native American In Denver Turns His Lonely Eyes To Tim Tebow
Your morning roundup for Oct. 14, the day Snoop Dogg, a Welsh farmer and a "real big vegetable" made for the greatest broadcast news story ever. Photo courtesy of Busted Coverage, via @SirKingRyan. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

This Story About A Shoving Match In Pakistan's Parliament Includes Footage Of Other Legislative Fisticuffs
According to Pakistan Today, "Saner elements in the National Assembly (NA) blocked the way of the Pakistan Muslim League-Nawaz (PML-N) and the Muttahida Qaumi Movement (MQM) parliamentarians on Tuesday as they tried to physically assault each other in fits of anger following the fiery speech of Op...