we Page 683 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
The Basement Tapes: A Compendium Of Sportswriters' Hacky Jokes About Bloggers
Woody Paige, the orange person always yelling on your television set, recently disagreed with someone on the Internet. He then made a joke suggesting that the blogger still lives in his mother's house. Have you heard this one?...
Tim Tebow Messiah Watch: Body-Painted Mary Magdalene Edition
With apologies to Slate, the Tim Tebow Messiah Watch is our occasional look at the growing body of evidence — quotes, signs and wonders, excessively fawning prose — that the Florida quarterback is the Lamb of God....
Hey Dude In The Back...What Number Is Kansas Ranked?
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....
The Charlie Weis Death Watch Flies Under The Radar
Notre Dame is so desperate to pretend they haven't decided to fire Weis, they've blocked their private plane (also known as the SchmoozeJet) from being tracked on the Internet. Though odds are 2:1 it's been to Palo Alto....
Ex-Patriots Rough Up Some Children For Charity
Cameramen aren't the only people who need to be wary around the Patriots. A lesson learned too late for some students who thought they were going to meet their heroes in the name of a good cause. Instead: carnage....
Belichick Was Right
I enjoy a national shanking of Bill Belichick as much as anyone, but I'm with Neon here: Belichick, who has won three Super Bowls treating football the way an actuary treats a term life policy, made the smart call yesterday....
Peyton Manning Wins The Weekend
In sports, everybody is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like Peyton Manning, who won the weekend when it was gift-wrapped with a pretty bow and handed to him by Bill Belichick....
Where The Wild Oden Are
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....
No One Films The Belichick In Failure
The NFL Films cameraman gets taken down hard by one of the Dark Lord's minions (or his camera's cable), and Bill bids him a fond farewell. (Bonus animated gif, after the jump!)...
And Now A Selection From Tim McCarver's "Great American Songbook" Remixed
During the MLB playoffs, Fox baseball analyst extraordinaire Tim McCarver released a CD of him crooning through jaunty Cole Porter-style songs without a smidge of irony. We had grand plans for this. Some fell through, but one miraculously worked out....
The Best Taunt You'll See All Week
The Hartford goalie warms up for the shootout by doing cartwheels (20-second mark); Stony Brook's shooter doesn't appreciate that. Let's see what happens next....
John Wetteland Hospitalized For His Mental Health
When police responded to calls of a possible suicidal person, the Mariners bullpen coach and former closer came out with his hands in the air, telling them he "needed help." More to follow as we get it. [KTVT]...
Memphis Football Coach Thinks Memphis Maybe Shouldn't Have A Football Team
This is why you generally don't let the coach that you just fired hold a press conference to tell everyone why your school sucks so much. "Help this football program....or do away with it." [MyFoxMemphis, via OnlineSportsGuys]...
Tony Romo Wins The Weekend
In sports, everybody is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like Tony Romo, who won the weekend by not making a complete spectacle of himself. When no one notices you, you're probably doing your job right....
Say What? Our Long, National Nightmare About A Major League Pitcher's Weed Possession Charge Is Already Over?
The attorney for Tim Lincecum has negotiated a settlement with prosecutors to settle the pitcher's marijuana misdemeanor charge by having Lincecum pay a $250 fine for possession of a pipe. The possession of marijuana charge will be dropped. Come again?...
Area Satirical Newspaper Joins Forces With Puppet-Based Humor Channel
In a move I can only pray will cut Jeff Dunham-related programming down to a more manageable 23 hours a day, The Onion and Comedy Central will be doing a sports show together....
Sports-O-Ween III: Season Of The Itchy Sweatpants
You people just will not let this go, will you? Just moments after I put up the last gallery of unfortunate costume horrors, my inbox was flooded with still more masquerade submissions. Seriously, folks, this is becoming a sickness....
Gladwell, I Am Told, Is Often Misunderstood
Deadspin's part-time weekend wrecker Moe Tkacik has penned an epically long story about Bill Simmons admirer and pezzy-haired cultural point-tipper Malcolm Gladwell for "The Nation." Feast.[The Nation]...
The Sports-O-Ween That Wouldn't Die
Halloween is long gone, but people still keep submitting their terribly lame and occasionally offensive sports costumes so that we can post them on this site and embarrass their loved ones. Who are we to deny them their infamy?...
Starbury Is Scurred Of Haints
Marbury spent an evening parked outside a New York haunted house signing autographs, but said he was "way too scared" to actually go inside. No, it wasn't Madison Square Garden. [NY Post]...