we Page 683 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Dong Meteorologist Would Prefer You Not Post Dong Pics/Links On His Facebook Page
To Nick Kraynok, these things are good: golf, jet skiing, playing the guitar, rooting for Pittsburgh professional teams and telling the people of San Angelo, Texas the weather....
Here's A Video Of The Best Weather Dong In History
The internet says KLST is a real CBS affiliate in San Angelo, Texas, so I'll just roll with it. Dude's hand really works it from the Rio Grande tip line to the Texarkana/Shreveport satchel, don't it?...
Commonwealth Games: The Tragedy That Keeps On Giving
It turns out the Indian government couldn't even keep track of the number of people killed during construction for the Commonwealth Games. But, you know, totally worth it to beat Antigua AND Barbuda in lawn bowling. [Times of India]...
Good Work, America
This week's episode of The T.Ocho Show drew a 0.1 rating, or slightly more than 100,000 people. Why, that's barely better than playoff baseball! [Sports Media Watch]...
"Unnamed" Viking Expresses Thoughts On New NFL Safety Rules Via White Board
Following NFL releasing a new safety video, one that shows Seahawks punter Jon Ryan getting hit "cleanly" by the Bears Earl Bennett, Vikings punter Chris Kluwe—I mean "someone"—shared his thoughts on the perceived hypocrisy of the league. Kluwe will be fined by Roger Goddell later today. [@ChrisWar...
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Gerard Butler's Michigan State Weekend
Movie Spartan Gerard Butler was once in a great trailer that became an OK movie called 300. So it makes perfect sense for him—while not in character—to pump up various Michigan State crowds like he did this weekend....
Terrell Owens Hires A Pimp. Sorry, "Matchmaker"
The lovelorn Owens will shell out up to $150,000 to an "upscale matchmaking service" to find him a woman who looks like Kim Kardashian. Cincinnati isn't much of a meat market, huh? [NY Post]...
Your College Football Early Games Thread
For potential heart-attack fetishists, there's Illinois at Michigan State. For sadists, B.C. at Florida State or Minnesota at Purdue. For the righteous/godless, Western Michigan at Notre Dame. For college-football addicts, there's Missouri at Texas A&M and Vanderbilt at Georgia....
Funbag Bonus: Did The Chilean Miners Masturbate?
The Chilean miners were all rescued, free now to breathe in air and have their medical benefits cut off three weeks from now. But screw that: Wuz they jackin' it?...
Australian Team Accused Of Chucking Washing Machine Out Of Window
Solidifying their place as the badasses of international competition, the Australian Commonwealth Games team vandalized a room and threw a washing machine out of an 8th story window at the athletes' village....
Tiny Athlete Disqualified Over Stepstool
Papua New Guinea's Sapolai Yao — all 4'10" of him — was disqualified in the steeplechase finals of the Commonwealth Games for using a potted plant to clamber over the hurdle....
You Can't Write A Pot Story About The NBA Without Including Michael Beasley
The following is an excerpt from High Times magazine's story "Pot and the NBA," found in the December issue of America's favorite dank rag. Super Cool Beas, indeed....
Saints To Ruin Halloween
Some New Orleans moms — dubbed, gag me, the Treat Dats — want to move trick-or-treating to the 30th to avoid a conflict with the Saints' Halloween night game. The trick: the Steelers are going to ruin their shit anyway. [Times-Picayune]...
MIT Had Its Own "Fuck List"...In 1977
It turns out renowned egghead university MIT was also dragged into a sex scandal thanks to two female students who wrote a detailed, "consumer guide" to 36 male students they humped....
Stories That Don't Suck: The Epic Tale Of America's Greatest Ping-Pong Hustler
Occasionally, we'll select stories — old and new, sports and otherwise, relevant and merely sublime — that we urge you to read for one reason or another. Today: newly minted Man Booker recipient Howard Jacobson on ping-pong's "boldest adventurer," Marty Reisman....
Free Darko's Dream Week Continues, Now With Doodles
Free Darko's book-release countdown/Hakeem Olajuwon retrospective continues today with this Randy Kim submission. Check out what else he came up with and follow FD on their new Tumblr....
Cigar Guy Isn't As Fun, Photoshoppable When He's Not Wearing The Fake 'Stache
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....
Here's A Waving Otter To Clear Your Heads Of Dong For The Weekend
Aww, he thinks he's people. Go here for more dong-free sweetness....
Let's All Admire Umpire Hunter Wendelstedt's Rather Large Human Element
What you see here, courtesy of Brooks Baseball, is a plot of Hunter Wendelstedt's whimsical strikezone from yesterday's Yankees-Twins game. The red marks were called strikes; the green ones were balls. No, that's not how a strikezone is supposed to look....