we Page 684 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

And On Saturday, The First Fan Became Joe Six-Pack
What an action-packed and important day it's been for Barack Obama. He sat courtside at Duke-Georgetown (oh shush, all of you), told Clark Kellogg he was gunning for his job and his administration wants to finally pass reform that matters....

So You Think NU Can Dance, Weeks 4 & 5: We Are America's Team!
A weekly feature in which author Benoit Denizet-Lewis follows the fortunes of the only BCS school to have sucked so consistently and spectacularly that it has never made the NCAA tournament, Northwestern. Record: 14-6. Tournament prospects: Stranger things have happened....

Dead Wrestler Of The Week: "Dr. Death" Steve Williams
Every week, the Masked Man, Deadspin's pro wrestling correspondent, honors the sport's fallen and examines their legacies — famous and obscure alike. Today: "Dr. Death" Steve Williams, who died of throat cancer on Dec. 29....

Randy Orton Would Like You To Know He Did Not Spit On That Handicapped Child
Earlier in the month, the WWE star had a confrontation with a teenager in a restaurant parking lot. The kid filed an assault complaint, claiming Orton cussed him out and spat gum at him. Now Orton shares his side....

Hockey Players Have Surprisingly Average, If Hairless Bodies
As a nice middle-of-the-road counterpoint to the flab of Terrence Cody and the idealized manhood of Greg Oden, here are some Blackhawks shirtless in a limo....

Confused Sports Radio Guy Thinks That I, Napkin Gladwell, Photographed Venus Williams's "Goods"
Look here, Rob Buska, whoever you are. I am Napkin Gladwell, journalist and bestselling author of books people read on airplanes. I am not a photographer. I am not in Australia. And I was certainly not "snapping" Venus Williams's "goods."...

The Brett Favre Anti-Appreciation Society Wins The Weekend
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like all the Brett Favre haters who got exactly what they wanted at precisely the time they needed. You have two more wishes....

Stories That Don't Suck: Mushnick When He Mattered, Erich Segal (OO MAH SOUL!), MLK
Every week, I'll excerpt a handful of stories — old and new, sports and otherwise, relevant and merely sublime — that I urge you to read for one reason or another. Send any suggestions to [email protected]....

Open Thread: Texas-UConn, Arkansas-Kentucky, Oklahoma State-KSU, Duke-Clemson, Etc.
Last one of the day. Suggested topic for discussion: the incredible fact that West Georgia's athletics program used 119 ineligible athletes from 2004-09. Someone get these guys in Conference USA....

Excerpts From "Underlying Ass(ets): What Venus Williams's Bottom Tells Us About Credit Default Swaps"
Napkin Gladwell is a journalist and bestselling author of books people read on airplanes. He occasionally provides Deadspin with excerpts of his upcoming essays....

Chris Kluwe Says Vikings Will Control Their Bowels Against Saints
I'd like to see this drawn up on the chalkboard: "We'll have a plan that doesn't involve pooping our pants," Kluwe said, per the St. Paul Pioneer Press.[Via PFT]...

Dead Wrestler Of The Week: Ludvig Borga
Every week, the Masked Man, Deadspin's pro wrestling correspondent, honors the sport's fallen and examines their legacies — famous and obscure alike. Today: Ludvig Borga, who died Jan. 8 of an apparently self-inflicted gunshot wound....

Northwestern Fan Explains Tiger's Masturbatory Lockdown To America
In a bizarre twist, Deadspin's Northwestern University Basketball Columnist Benoit Denizet-Lewis has become the go-to guy for Tiger Woods sex rehab details and this morning's SportsCenter prevailed upon him to break it down for their viewers. Today's lesson: celibacy contracts....

Today In Euphemizing Johnny Weir's Gayness: <em>Chicago Tribune</em>, ESPN, And Many More
An occasional series in which we document — and evaluate — the sports media's pained efforts to call the sexually undeclared figure skater gay without quite calling him gay....

The Jets Win The Weekend
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like the New York Jets, who somehow keep winning games they shouldn't even be playing in. How are they not blowing it?...

Stories That Don't Suck: Joe Willie, Drug Hysteria, Blago Agonistes, And I'm With CarCar
Every week, I'll excerpt a handful of stories — old and new, sports and otherwise, relevant and merely sublime — that I urge you to read for one reason or another. Send any suggestions to [email protected]....

So You Think NU Can Dance, Week 3: A Star Emerges From The Loins Of An NBA Ref
A weekly feature in which author Benoit Denizet-Lewis follows the fortunes of the only BCS school to have sucked so consistently and spectacularly that it has never made the NCAA tournament, Northwestern. Current record: 12-4. Tournament prospects: Still goodish? Maybe?...

The One Where Everybody Tries To Make Lane Kiffin Look Bad For Drinking Out Of A Red Cup
We get a massive amount of tips in our inbox each week. Some are pretty interesting, but don't get published for one reason or another....

Five Offensively Stupid Reactions To Mark McGwire's Steroid Admission
Would the following people kindly shut the hell up about Mark McGwire?...

<em>GQ</em> Unveils New, Stunning Details About Marvin Harrison Gun Incident
GQ's Jason Fagone drops a monster storyabout the shoot-em-up outside Marvin Harrison's North Philadelphia car wash back in April of 2008. The case was derailed by uncooperative witnesses, Wire-like shadiness and lack of evidence. Until now, the truth was elusive....