we Page 690 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Eric Wedge: Dead Man Walking
Manager Eric Wedge and his coaching staff will finish out the season on the Cleveland Indians bench. But don't worry—he's still totally fired. [Plain Dealer]...
Women's Basketball Didn't Count On Our Immaturity
The West Coast Conference has a neat little interactive video which lets you (or any name you choose) play the role of top pick. This is the fruit of a $90,000 grant. Money well spent. [SF Weekly]...
Mike Blowers Knew You Would Read This Post
Journeyman everything Mike Blowers spent 11 years in the majors, but he should've spent that time in Vegas instead because the guy is scary good at predicting the outcome of baseball games—right down to the pitch counts....
Rasheed Wallace Never Goes Anywhere Without His Extra Prosthetic Leg
"That was the scene in the lobby Sunday afternoon at Lincoln Financial Field. Wallace, wearing a No. 58 Chiefs jersey, tossed a man's prosthetic leg back and forth." Somehow that paragraph makes perfect sense to me. [KC.com/StylePoints]...
The Legend Of The Vest
Football season is upon us, which means that thousands of angry, horny, feisty pretend fans will converge upon this great nation's red cup-littered parking lots to participate in traditional tailgating revelry. These are not those stories...
The Detroit Lions Win The Weekend
In sports, everybody is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like the Detroit Lions, who won the weekend by not being friends with Tom Cruise. Detroit City is fixed!...
Oh Great, Even Less Scoring In Soccer
Of the many ways to cheat at professional sports, the simplest are sometimes the most effective. Like, say, a keeper making his goal smaller. Oh, soccer, this whole taking-you-seriously thing isn't going to work out....
Deadspin I-Team: The Case Of Plaxico Burress' Sweat Pants
Plaxico Burress's saga has now reached its sad dénouement, with the former Giant matriculating into the New York penal system. One loose end remains, however: the matter of the sweat pants he wasn't wearing. Who's responsible for the sweat-pants misinformation?...
You Will Physically Flinch While Reading This Story
See those four things over on the left? Those are fasteners. They should be clamped on to dumbbell bars, and not your penis. One poor soul missed that memo....
From The Desk Of Gary Belsky: Gynecology Edition
Gary Belsky is the EIC of ESPN The Magazine, which you probably know as the strange, unwieldy object wedged into your mailbox every other week. Sometimes, funny things happen at Gary's magazine, and employees tell us about them....
Megan Fox Will Kick You In The Boner
Jennifer's Body tanked this weekend. I assume there are any number of reasons why. But somewhere on that list has to be the fact that people aggressively don't give a shit about Megan Fox....
Rex Ryan's Voicemail Wins The Weekend
In sports, everybody is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like New York Jets coach Rex Ryan, who won this weekend with one well-placed phone call. No, it wasn't to Batman....
Floyd "Fatty" Mayweather Fined For Performance Enhancing Blubber
Floyd Mayweather weighed 146 pounds at yesterday's weigh-in, 2 pounds over the stipulated limit for tonight's fight against Juan Marquez. The flub(ber) will cost him 600k, at 300k per pound...If only my girlfriend had that clause. Zing! [ESPN]...
Delonte West Is "The Road Warrior"
Cavs guard Delonte West was arrested last night, carrying two handguns and a shotgun. On his motorcycle. A) Where was he carrying the shotgun? (Answer below!) B) Was there an apocalypse that no one told me about? [WUSA9/Plain-Dealer]...
WWE's Linda McMahon Scores Key Endorsement In Actual, Not-Fake Senate Bid
McMahon, wife of Vince, CEO of WWE, enemy of budget deficits, is running for Chris Dodd's Senate seat. "Connecticut needs Linda McMahon," says former wrestler Lanny "The Genius" Poffo. "She is the opposite of Nancy Pelosi." Senton bomb! [Daily Beast]...
Buffalo Columnist Outraged By T.O.'s Good Behavior
The Buffalo sports media can't wait to blast Terrell Owens for shooting his mouth off to reporters—only he hasn't done that yet, so they'll just have to blast him for being polite instead. Wait — what?...
Floyd Mayweather Doesn't Believe In A Postracial America Either
Mayweather is going to get paid $5 million for his fight Saturday night, but he's a little unhappy with his treatment by the media and public. Dropping the N-bomb four times in four sentences unhappy....
The Prep School Piggy-Back Bandit Terrorizes Washington (UPDATE #2)
The developmentally disabled are a funny sort. Some can count dropped toothpicks and love The People's Court (those are fictional). Others are obsessed with mounting high school athletes....
The Relatively Short Goodbye Part II
Goodbye, cruel internet. Again....
Welcome Letter
Awwww shit, y'all – get out your slide rules and hide your daughters, because the bad boys of the internet are back! FJM in the motherhumping hizzzzzzzyyyyyyyyyyy!...