we Page 716 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
About Last Night
What you missed while playing the world's biggest game of Where's Waldo ... • MLB: Boss, I demand a Reyes ... Mets beat Phillies in 12th thanks in great part to the baserunning stylings of Jose Reyes. • College basketball: Note to Self ... be sure to turn down offers and stay at Kansas. • NHL: Preda...
South Park, Cheating, And You
“In America, it’s OK to cheat as long as you cheat your way to the top.” What does Stand and Deliver have in common with Bill Belichick? South Park explains....
Terrell Owens: Thespian
Terrell Owens, Dallas Cowboys wide receiver and suicide survivor, is a man who's always had a flair for melodrama. Now, the Pro Bowl receiver will get to utilize some of those off-the-field skills in an upcoming sitcom starring ex-Public Enemy hype man and reality television star, Flavor Flav. The s...
The West Virginia Power's Mascot Has A Rather Large Package
Here's Charile, one of the mascots of the West Virginia Power baseball team, a Class-AA affiliate of the Milwaukee Brewers. The Power celebrated the beginning of their season recently with a contest to see who could turn in the best drawing of one of their colorful mascots. The winner was Ariel Bens...
Milwaukee's Tailgaters Highly Evolved In All Things Toilet-Related
Where have you publicly evacuated when confronted with an overactive beer-filled bladder and nary a port-o-potty in site to relieve yourself during tailgating? Some duck behind cars and unleash right on the asphalt; others use their empty beer bottles as rudimentary urine containers....
Blogs are a digital sweatshop. It says so right in the lede. Plus, three bloggers have died in the last few months of heart-related conditions, which only supports the claim because it's not like heart disease is the leading cause of death in America or anything. No, it's actually rickets. And blogg...
I'm Your Beer Bong Man, Stop Me As I'm Passing By
Last year on Opening Day, the Milwaukee Brewers faithful unveiled the beer pong orgy. This year they've made it a more intimate occasion, ensuring that each and every Brewers fan gets adequately blasted. Bringing the love back into binge drinking, now that's what it's all about....
Fiery NASCAR Crash Was The Work Of Scheming Terrorist Fire Ants
You always wondered if NASCAR drivers could turn right. Well, they can, but only once. The twisted remains of the vehicle you see here belonged to Michael McDowell, who rubbed the wall the wrong way (too hard, and straight on) in qualifying for this week's Samsung 500 at Texas Motor Speedway. But no...
About Last Night ...
What you missed, other than the diapered monkey in traffic ... • NBA: Nets playoff chances, fade to black. Detroit's bench handles New Jersey, 106-87. • MLB: Marcum zero, Smokey. Shaun Marcum retires 11 Sox in a row in Toronto's win over Boston. • Tennis: Andy Roddick loses to Nikolay Davydenko in s...
Matt Leinart Suddenly Dirty
• Opening Day! • President Bush would have been a better commissioner. • Look: Daulerio works here now. • Matt Leinart once, and Matt Leinart twice. • Andy Roddick, doing OK for himself. • We miss Davidson already. • Stuart Scott on the microphone. • Joel Zumaya, bringing rock. • Larry King really, ...
The Best $187 Million Ever Spent
As Isiah Thomas and the Knicks attempt to finish up their disastrous season and wait to find out what new GM Donnie Walsh will do to rejuvenate the team, it'd probably be a good idea to make sure he doesn't read this Portfolio.com article on how much Isiah has cost the Knicks. The magazine estimates...
40 Acres And A Mountaineer
University of Michigan football coach Rich Rodriguez is still in a messy legal battle with his former team, West Virginia University, about his old contract and the upcoming trial could possibly get ugly. The issue? The legality of the $4 million buyout Rodriguez's team of hard-nosed attorneys alleg...
Don't Even THINK About It, Brett
You know, this is gonna come as a shock to you — and we do hope you are sitting down — but apparently Brett Favre (seriously!) turns out (you ready?) to be (here it comes!) thinking of unretiring. We know, right?!...
Stuart Scott Obviously Feels Better
Wow, that "ESPN the Weekend" sure looks like it was fun. Here's Stuart Scott getting all Chuck D on the karaoke mic with proper S1W accompaniment by Charles Barkley playing the role of Flavor Flav and, hmm, Mr. Belding from "Saved By The Bell" obviously filling Professor Griff's giant shoes....
Eric Gagne, A Still Life
Perhaps our favorite ridiculous conspiracy theory about the Mitchell Report was that Sen. Mitchell, a Red Sox fan, was somehow attempting to stack the deck by ignoring potential Red Sox juicers. Not just that, but he happened to nail the one guy Sox fans hated the most at the time: Eric Gagne. Well,...
Cubs Still Somehow Manage To Fukudome Themselves
It all looked good for the Cubs, thanks to the mighty bat of Kosuke Fukudome, who went 3-for-3 with the game-tying home run off the hairy useless mess that now inhabits former lights-out closer Eric Gagne. But the Cubs still lost to the Milwaukee Brewers 4-3 in 10 innings. Bobby Howry gave up a sacr...
Shaq's New Diesel
The black Perez Hiltons over at Media Take Out unveiled some photos of Shaq and his post-divorce hook-up, who if memory serves me correct, looks alarmingly similar to Shaq's ex-wife, Shaunie. (It seems Shaq has a thing for cinnamon-colored ladies with Legend of Billie Jean haircuts. )...
Mayweather Practically Unbeatable When Armed With Metal Furniture
Remember the good old days, when boxers waited until they were old and washed up before turning up on the professional wrestling circuit? Of course then you don't make $20 million just for showing up, as Floyd Mayweather did on Sunday at WrestleMania XXIV in a completely legitimate not-at-all script...
Let's Ride The Bus Together
Greetings. Today is the first day as an official full-time member under the employ of one William F. Leitch and Gawker Media. What this role will actually entail has yet to be determined. We're hoping to have something hammered out over the next couple weeks so we don't confuse you, have duplicate p...