we Page 716 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
John Wetteland Hospitalized For His Mental Health
When police responded to calls of a possible suicidal person, the Mariners bullpen coach and former closer came out with his hands in the air, telling them he "needed help." More to follow as we get it. [KTVT]...
Memphis Football Coach Thinks Memphis Maybe Shouldn't Have A Football Team
This is why you generally don't let the coach that you just fired hold a press conference to tell everyone why your school sucks so much. "Help this football program....or do away with it." [MyFoxMemphis, via OnlineSportsGuys]...
Tony Romo Wins The Weekend
In sports, everybody is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like Tony Romo, who won the weekend by not making a complete spectacle of himself. When no one notices you, you're probably doing your job right....
Say What? Our Long, National Nightmare About A Major League Pitcher's Weed Possession Charge Is Already Over?
The attorney for Tim Lincecum has negotiated a settlement with prosecutors to settle the pitcher's marijuana misdemeanor charge by having Lincecum pay a $250 fine for possession of a pipe. The possession of marijuana charge will be dropped. Come again?...
Area Satirical Newspaper Joins Forces With Puppet-Based Humor Channel
In a move I can only pray will cut Jeff Dunham-related programming down to a more manageable 23 hours a day, The Onion and Comedy Central will be doing a sports show together....
Sports-O-Ween III: Season Of The Itchy Sweatpants
You people just will not let this go, will you? Just moments after I put up the last gallery of unfortunate costume horrors, my inbox was flooded with still more masquerade submissions. Seriously, folks, this is becoming a sickness....
Gladwell, I Am Told, Is Often Misunderstood
Deadspin's part-time weekend wrecker Moe Tkacik has penned an epically long story about Bill Simmons admirer and pezzy-haired cultural point-tipper Malcolm Gladwell for "The Nation." Feast.[The Nation]...
The Sports-O-Ween That Wouldn't Die
Halloween is long gone, but people still keep submitting their terribly lame and occasionally offensive sports costumes so that we can post them on this site and embarrass their loved ones. Who are we to deny them their infamy?...
Starbury Is Scurred Of Haints
Marbury spent an evening parked outside a New York haunted house signing autographs, but said he was "way too scared" to actually go inside. No, it wasn't Madison Square Garden. [NY Post]...
The Terrifying Horrors Of Sports-O-Ween
We've tallied the results and as suspected....your Halloween costumes kind of stunk. Don't sweat it though. At least you weren't burned alive for going to a Scottish soccer match dressed as a sheep....
Alex Rodriguez Wins The Weekend (Again)
In sports, everybody is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like Alex Rodriguez, who won the weekend by pretty much just owning these playoffs. He's like some amazing mythical creature!...
David Wells Thinks The People Of Philadelphia Are A Bunch Of Meanie-Weenies
Geez, I guess they'll let anyone write for the New York Post. David Wells, in a column I would describe as "portly," because, well, for no reason, shares some of his experiences interacting with the wonderful, friendly people from Philadelphia....
Send Us Your Lame Sports-O-Ween Costumes
Tomorrow is All Hallows' Eve and you may be tempted to put on a sport-themed costume in an effort to win candy and prizes. You should seriously rethink that strategy. Sorry, but there can only be one Baby Mangino....
Soon We'll Just Make Him Attorney General
A new team, a new jurisdiction; Shaq has applied to become a deputy sheriff in Cleveland. This shows me he's entirely unfamiliar with the city, which was long ago abandoned to lawlessness. [AP]...
HALLOWEENAROO! Jamboroo, Week 8
Drew Magary's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Find more of his stuff at his Twitter feed....
Malcolm Gladwell Demands Bill Simmons Be An NBA GM
Bill Simmons' new doorstop of a book arrives in stores tomorrow. In a canny move, he had Malcolm Gladwell pen the foreword. And what does Fry Guy do in that foreword?...
Cedric Benson Wins The Weekend
In sports, everybody is a winner-some people just win better than others. Like Cedric Benson, who won the weekend by making the Chicago Bears look foolish. Granted, he's not the first....
Lord Brady Mingles With The Commoners
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....
Red Sox Underwear For Sale, If You're Into That Sort Of Thing
Tired of collecting all kinds of shit related to your favorite player? Time to collect their literal shit, in skidmark form. Game-used underwear, people. Christ....
There Goes The Greatest Halloween Costume That Ever Lived
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....