we Page 745 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
To Watch Tonight
What to watch on orders from your parrot • MLB: All-Star Game. My write-in campaign for Ryan Garko has failed. I may watch anyway. [Fox] • Poker: World Series of Poker. Hey, these cards are marked! They're a mess. A chocolate mess! [ESPN] • Cycling: Tour de France. Blood tests after every mile is a ...
The Definitive Way To Fix The Home Run Derby
In lieu of the whole discussion on how to improve the Home Run Derby, our friends at The Nosebleeds have a proposal that we can absolutely get behind....
Happy Birthday, Wiffleball!
It's a big day in the world of sports birthdays: The wiffleball (and bat, we presume, unless they were just playing catch) turns 54 years old today. We would compare the wiffleball's age to our mother's, but she'd get all mad at us....
Richard Gasquet Is Your Not-Gay Semifinalist
Roger Federer, staving off a surprising surge from longtime rival Rafael Nadal, won his fifth consecutive Wimbledon yesterday. (His first Wimbledon win was over that idiot on that dumb NBC reality show, by the way.) But the real winner wasn't Federer, but semifinalist Richard Gasquet, who finally ba...
To Watch Tonight
• 7 p.m. — Arena Football Playoffs: Philadelphia Soul at Georgia Force. You can't force soul on people. It has to come naturally. [ESPN2] • 8 p.m. — MLB: Atlanta Braves at San Diego Padres. Greg Maddux pitching against his former team, making for a riveting storyline three years ago. [ESPN] • 8 p.m....
Felix Hernandez Informed By Internet That He Has Other Pitches Besides Fastball
All right, I initially highlighted the mischievousness of sports blogs to preface you all with some of the goodness sportsbloggery can achieve in life. The blog U.S.S. Mariner wrote an open letter to Seattle Mariners pitching coach Rafael Chavez, wherein he mentions how Felix Hernandez throws way to...
To Watch Tonight
• 8 p.m. — Nextel Cup: Pepsi 400. Any driver whose helmet is worn 3 millimeters off-center will receive a 100-point deduction. [TNT] • 8 p.m. — Arena Football Playoffs: Columbus Destroyers at Dallas Desperados. And the backup quarterback for the Destroyers is ... you guessed it, Josh Harris from Bow...
If You Were A Veggie Hot Dog, Would It Be OK To Eat Yourself?
• God, the hot dog eating championships are fun. • John Patterson, get thee to Canada. Don't tell Spencer Hawes! • 45 seconds ... starting NOW. • Cursing at Yankee Stadium? Now we've seen EVERYTHING! • Dan LeBatard would like to keep Harold Reynolds away from his women. • MJD left us, but he is not ...
You've All Been Working For The Weekend
After The Mighty MJD's heartfelt goodbye last weekend — after more than a year of serving as our weekend editor — the speculation has been immense. (Really!) Who's gonna take over for MJD? Well, considering it's Friday, we should probably tell you....
The Orem Owlz Medium Is The Message
For years, we have watched the totalitarian media/mind control tactics of the rookie-level Pioneer League team the Orem Owlz with a wary eye. They have sat there, in their megalomaniacal castle in Utah, acting as if they are the rulers of all the survey, wielding their power indiscriminately and wit...
The Brewers Meet The Furries
When the Milwaukee Brewers played in Pittsburgh this week, they ended up staying at the same hotel as a Furry Convention. (It's actually the Furry Convention.) That's Bob Uecker and one of them above. The notion of the Milwaukee Brewers hanging out in the same hotel as Furries might seem funny to ...
Why We Can't Hang Out With Gamblers
At Least Some Poker Players Are Athletes [Shakedown Sports]...
Today, A Victory For America
We just returned from Joey Chestnut's world record breaking performance at the Nathan's Hot Dog Eating Championship, and, to be entirely honest with you, we're not sure when we've had more fun at a sporting event. Full report tomorrow ... but as for now ... USA! USA! USA! Nobody eats like us!...
Spencer Hawes Doesn't Think It's Getting Hot In Here
New Sacramento Kings center Spencer Hawes has heard your complaints about athletes not being political, about LeBron James refusing to speak out for those suffering in Darfur. He wants you to know that he will not kowtow to corporate interests. He speak truth to power. Particular in his college deba...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch as you mourn the untimely passing of Farfour, the Martyred Television Mouse ... • MLB: Minnesota at New York Yankees. It's the matchup we've all been waiting for: Boof Bonser vs. Roger Clemens. [ESPN] • Arena football: Wild-card game, Utah at Los Angeles. Somehow, Al Davis will find a ...
Goodnight, Friends
I suspect that it will be surreal when I wake up next Saturday and have nothing to write. There's a good chance I won't know what to do with myself and I'll end up writing an 11,000 word essay on why I suspect that Ron Gardenhire suffers from erectile dysfunction....
Goodbye, MJD, Hello, Popular Redesign
• Our redesign went over like gangbusters, totally. We are working on it, promise. • God, we hate rain. • EIU wrestltng fever: CATCH IT. • Matt Geiger, pimp. • Pirate fan walkout? What Pirate fan walkout? • Goodbye, Rod Beck. • Dice-K rocks, sort of. • David Hirshey is not handling this Thierry Henr...
About Last Night ...
What you missed while making your getaway in the Oscar Mayer Weinermobile ... • Soccer: Argentina beats U.S. 4-1, forces us to call cowboys "gauchos" from now on. • MLB: Mr. 3000, yep, that's Craig Biggio. But his BIG milestone is yet to come. • Golf: Park Place ... Wie, Webb flounder at U.S. Women'...