we Page 746 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
To Watch Tonight
What to watch while caressing your newest, proudest possession: Gary Coleman's pants ... • College basketball: Michigan at Wisconsin (7 p.m., ET); Tennessee at Kentucky (9 p.m., ET). Say hello to Kige if you go. [ESPN] • NHL: Boston at Montreal (7:30 p.m., ET). So much better than televised fishing,...
This Guy Hasn't Washed His Face Since 2004
They've announced the villain in the next Batman movie, and this one's the most insidious of all. His powers include super smugness, a photographic memory that does not include anything prior to 2001, and invisibility (should the conversation turn to the Bruins). Only posted comment to his photo so...
Somewhere There's A Tom Brady Voodoo Doll With A Pin In Its Foot
Your chances of seeing Matt Gutierrez at quarterback in the Super Bowl just improved slightly on Monday, as Tom Brady was spotted hobbling down a New York sidewalk in a foot cast. Now what this means is not clear; all that we know for certain is that Brady's foot speed is pretty much unchanged. My g...
The Six Storylines You're Already Sick Of
Because we're all gonna be hearing every single storyline between now and two freaking weeks from now, let's go ahead and run the obvious ones down, right here, to get 'em out of the way....
Boston Glee Party
What they're saying on the interwebs about New England's 21-12 win over San Diego in the AFC Championship Game ......
You Missed Your Chance To Take Out The Pats
As talented as the Patriots are, we've had a couple instances this year that have reminded what's really annoying about New England: They really are the same team they've been for the past few years. On games when matters aren't going well — and they certainly weren't yesterday — they still find a ...
AFC Championship: Second Half
They're underway in the second half and we've already seen Tom Brady throw an interception off of a tipped ball. Everybody but Phil wants to see Billy Volek but Marmalard is still getting plenty on his throws when he has time. They have a got a first down inside the the twenty and it looks like we'...
AFC Championship: First Half
In a matter of minutes the Patriots and Chargers will kick off Championship Sunday from the frigid confines of Gillette Stadium in Foxborough, Massachusetts. The winner is headed for Super Bowl XLII Pink Taco in beautiful Glendale. I'll be here providing updates on this here post throughout the fir...
Favre Mad Libs > Brady Slash Fiction
Have you ever wanted to write a story about Brett Favre, but you just couldn't find the right words to express your raging hard-on for the guy? Well worry no more, because the Gray Lady's younger, sluttier e-counterpoint has written the perfect formula....
It Gets Late Early Down Under
It's 3:48 in the am and I'm preparing to entertain the shit out of you all weekend long, but I'd be remiss if I didn't alert all those awake to the goings on in Melbourne. Roger Federer is down a set to Serbian Janko Tipsarević who came into the night paying out at 180/1 to win the third round matc...
ESPN Should Have More Roasts
• Come on, we gotta find that Jacobson video. • Fun with the Utah Jazz on New Years Eve. • Stephen A. Smith, pundit. • Wait, Norv Turner is a genius now? • ESPN supports their troops. • Phone sex. • T.O. cries! • ESPN comments will get you a job. • MITT ROMNEY! • Donte Stallworth has a frie...
AFC Championship Pants Party: Patriots Vs. Chargers
Does anyone out there dare? Can anyone claim, with a straight face, that the Chargers are going to win this game? It's the AFC Championship, and we haven't found a single person who is taking the underdog. Sad state of affairs....
Today's NFL Season Recap: The Dallas Cowboys
Heh Heh [A Large Regular]...
We Are Now Outsourcing Our Cheerleaders
The new issue of The Atlantic Monthly looks at just how much of our country China actually owns. (Answer: At this point, almost all of it.) And this is how you know it has gone too far: They're now controlling what we do with our cheerleaders....
Randy Moss Is Hands Off With The Ladies
So, now the Randy Moss restraining order story has gone "mainstream" — which is different than it going "legit" — what's the deal with it? What's the story? And does it have legs? And by "have legs," we mean, "will it sufficiently disgust Joe Buck?" Here are the papers....
Patriots' Fans Have Delicate Sensibilities
Patriots fans were shocked and indignant when Anna Grant, 14, was booed for wearing a Patriots jersey at the AFC playoff game in Indianapolis on Sunday. Folks at the RCA Dome let her have it during the introduction of the Punt, Pass and Kick winners, where, it appears, even the Colts' mascot got int...
Donte Stallworth's Alien Friend Nicco
Donte Stallworth can comfortably be considered the "other" wide receiver on the Patriots. He doesn't have the blow-up-a-game talent of Randy Moss, and he doesn't have the electric, sensuous charisma of the sex bomb that is Wes Welker. It takes a bit for the man to stand out. It takes something drama...
So Did Someone Slap A Restraining Order On Randy Moss, Or Not? (UPDATE: Yep!)
One of the fun parts of the Internets is that once you have introduced something to the series of tubes, called "posting," it never really goes away even if you try to delete it. (Which is why this still exists.) So WDBO Radio in Florida's "scoop" this morning, which they then deleted from their sit...
Little People Wrestling At Northwestern
The video above is an advertisement for Half Print Brawlers, which advertises that "midgets bleed for your enjoyment." Well, we suppose that's truth in advertising....
About Last Night
What you missed while talking like Jack Bauer ... • College basketball: Despite missing injured starters Levance Fields, Mike Cook, Ladainian Tomlinson and Philip Rivers, No. 15 Pitt still beats No. 5 Georgetown, 69-60. • NBA: Kobe scores 48, not counting Alaska and Hawaii, as Lakers beat SuperSonic...