whimsy Page 108 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Seriously, This Is Getting Ridiculous
The photos of Roy Williams signing the belly of a Hooters girl provide a cute, funny moment for Kansas fans and other Williams detractors who may think a man of such coaching stature should not be hanging around with the jiggly-boobed wing-servers. But perhaps even more fascinating than that was th...

Politician On A Mission To Rid Toledo Of Any And All Peckers
So, big sports news here in Toledo. After the minor league hockey team went on hiatus, they're returning soon, along with an arena football team, in a brand new sports arena. And here's where you start caring, because the new football team might be called the Toledo Peckerheads....

Kenny Enjoys Popsicles
The man you see here iis one Kenny Irons of the Cincinnati Bengals. The downright fabulous picture was posted yesterday on the blog Bossip, who incidentally have one of the finest taglines on the internet. Before you go jumping to conclusions regarding Kenny's sexual proclivities you might want to c...


Woman Knocks Out Husband With Potato; Dodgers Sign Her For $25 Million Over Two Years
If you're Irish like me, this is pretty much an everyday occurrence. But for others it may be rare: During a drunken Thanksgiving argument, a wife grabbed a potato and fired it at her husband, nailing him right in the snout and knocking him to Dream Town. (As Emeril would say: "Bam!"). Aside from th...

Mr. Testicle Is The Bo Jackson Of Mascots
Well, 100 Percent Injury Rate has dug up more videos of Mr. Testicle in action. Can we create him as a Madden character? The problem is that he's so good at sports now that he's pressured to improve and keep up with the rest of his competitors. That's all fine and good, of course, except that leads ...

The Fish That Could Be An Offensive Lineman
We consider fishing a sport, though we're not sure why; we're generally pleased to classify pretty much anything a sport, because everything's better when it's competitive. So, therefore, a terrifyingly huge freaking fish....

The Houston Texans Are Full Of Political Intrigue
Amazingly, there's all kinds of political strife in the former Soviet land of Georgia. We know. Protests and corruption in Russia; now we've seen everything. Apparently the major opposition party is led by Matt Schaub. They're totally regretting passing on Reggie Bush as the leader of the oppositio...

No Longer Will Your Finger Jousting Competitions Be Lawless
We've talked to you about the great sport of finger jousting before, but we are proud to report that the World Finger Jousting Federation has come up with an official set of rules. They're quite helpful....

Hey Kids, It's The Giant Colon!
Seriously, the kids could spend all day playing in the giant colon. And they would, if the state capitol building didn't close at 4. Actually, the display is called "Super Colon and Friends," and is on display in Carson City, Nev., to raise colon cancer awareness. But I just call it fun! (Yes, I ha...

USC Seniors Are Not Smarter Than A Fifth Grader
Chris Washington is a senior at USC with a GPA of 3.50. And even though he had several of his fraternity brothers rooting him on in the front row during the game show Are You Smarter Than A Fifth Grader? last night, he still seemed a bit confused. Below are a list of the questions that he got wrong:...

If Only David Stern Could Someday Call His Name
Forgive us this brief (?) moment of third-grader-ness, but ... the starting forward for Lottomatica Roma in their exhibition game against the Toronto Raptor is named Gregor Fucka. He looks like a Fucka....

Competitive Eating Anyone Can Love
As we've gotten older, we've attempted to eat a little healthier; we're turning 32 next week, and the body doesn't quite bounce back the way it used to. But we remain a sucker for the corndog. It's a hot dog dipped in lard; what's not to like? (In Mattoon, we call them "pronto pups," by the way. It'...

Seattle Is Hooked On Phonics
Forgive us, considering this post is pretty tenuously related to sports, but ... we were in Seattle last week for sports, so maybe that counts. Maybe....

The Wii Will Get You Bombed
We are through the looking glass, people: White is black, black is white, tall is short and people are wearing shoes as protective cups: They've come up with beer pong for the Wii....

How In The Heck Will He Wash His Neck If He Doesn't Have One?
Many of us are blessed, in that we were born with all of our body parts, some of which we didn't know existed until after a rigorous workout. Occasionally you hear about someone who lost a leg, like Neil Parry, who returns from intense physical rehab to again play Division I football. But a story wh...

Oookie Agonistes
Compared to much of the sports blogosphere, we lead a blessedly sheltered life here at Deadspin Nation. Admission is limited. There are standards of discourse during business hours. The worst of the trolls are jettisoned with all haste. But in most of the uncharted wilds of the internets, lawlessnes...