whimsy Page 38 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
We Improved A Billy Joel Song By Replacing Him With Jay-Z
We all know that Billy Joel sucks (especially lately), but as SB Nation's Spencer Hall recently noted, there's a portion of nearly every one of his songs that's really great. (You can usually blame Joel's rock-solid rhythm section of Liberty DeVitto and Doug Stegmeyer for that.) ...
Anthony Bennett Says He Couldn't See Shit Last Year
Former Cavalier Anthony Bennett, who became perhaps the saddest sad-sack No. 1 overall pick we've ever seen last season, is now a member of the Minnesota Timberwolves and is hoping to bounce back from his terrible rookie campaign. Bennett is hoping that one reason his play will improve is because he...
One Of The Weirdest Moments Ever On <em>Monday Night Football</em>, Made Weirder
How bad was tonight's Eagles-Panthers blowout? So bad that Mike Tirico and Jon Gruden started making protein shakes in the booth. That was weird enough, but we scraped together the best Soviet-era electronica to make it even weirder, and more stupid....
Mike McCarthy Trips Over A Cord, Loses It
This is just proof that tripping over a cord really is one of the most aggravating things in the world. Even when you're watching your team sail to a 55-14 victory, a poorly placed cord can turn you into Bobby Knight....
This Woman Might Convince You That Your Energy Drink Was Made By Satan
I mean, you can't argue with facts. "Bottoms up, and the Devil laughs."...
Notre Dame-Arizona State First Half Highlights, As Called By Jim Ross
Notre Dame gave up 34 points to Arizona State in the first half today. Here's all the highlights, as called by pro wrestling legend Jim "J.R." Ross....
Woman In Famed Abbey Road Crosswalk Hit By Car, Goes Flying
This popped up yesterday on the always-questionable LiveLeak, but I've got a feeling this is legit. Here is a woman trying to run across the famous Abbey Road crosswalk, in spite of all the danger, who needed help after a car ran her over....
Further Evidence Bill Simmons & Ellen DeGeneres Are The Same Person
Yesterday a commenter remarked on some similarities between ESPN word-jock Bill Simmons and entertainer Ellen DeGeneres. We conducted a detailed forensic analysis of their faces, and you can see the shocking results in the above video....
Wind Blows Florida Rapper Right Into The Sea During Photo Shoot
A Florida rapper who goes by the name of Presto Flo decided that the edge of a seawall would be a good place to have a photo shoot, because everyone looks awesome and cool while standing in front of the ocean. Unfortunately for Presto Flo, he decided to do his shoot on a particularly windy day, an...
This Is One Of The Most Unfortunate Headlines We've Ever Seen
Hey, you guys remember Mark Whicker? The guy who wrote what is unquestionably the worst sports column of all time? Well, now he can add this headline to his collection of editorial facepalms....
The Time JaVale McGee Had The Perfect Comeback For A Hater
I'll be honest, the NBA season kind of snuck up on me this year—I mean, would it be so wrong for basketball to just chill for a minute until the World Series is over?—but I officially got excited for the season while reading Nuggets point guard Ty Lawson's AMA on Reddit yesterday, because he reminde...
Wade Phillips Watched His Old Team From The Upper Deck Last Night
Wade Phillips coached the Dallas Cowboys for almost four seasons, and despite getting fired after leading the team to a 1-7 start in 2010, he left Dallas with a decent overall record of 34-22. That record apparently isn't enough to get Phillips a decent ticket to see his old team play, though, becau...
The 76ers Do Not Even Care Who Is On Their Team Anymore
The Philadelphia 76ers currently sport a roster that appears to be made up of guys who were spat into the world by NBA 2K15's player creator. According to the team's official site, the Sixers got a little more unreal today, as the team apparently signed 43-year-old power forward Bo Outlaw, who retir...
Sad Chiefs Fan Finds A Nice Spot To Lie Down In The Parking Lot
Kansas City stomped the St. Louis Rams today, and this guy—spotted by @jonisthenewblk—was either so bored by the lopsided result that he retreated to the parking lot for a quick nap, or never managed to make it into the stadium in the first place....
Mississippi State's Josh Robinson Has <em>Super Mario</em> Invincibility
Mississippi State's locked into a tough fight with Kentucky today, but if the nation's #1 pulls out a win they can turn to running back Josh Robinson as one reason. Here's the invincible Bulldogs rusher showing off his Super Mario moves....
Drake Protégé Gets Duffed In The Club On A Tuesday (On A Tuesday)
ILoveMakonnen is an R&B singer who has a Twitter handle for a name. You know him from a track he recently released with Drake, the one about hanging out in the club on a Tuesday. In an exceptionally hilarious turn of events, ILoveMakonnen got attacked while performing in a New York City club. And gu...
I Am Fascinated By This Soccer Fan Who May Or May Not Be A Zombie
The photo above—first flagged by Cork Gaines on Twitter—was taken on May 21, 2003, before Celtic took on FC Porto in a UEFA Cup match in Seville, Spain. My first reaction to this photo went like this: "Wait, I think that purple-faced guy might be dead." Then I went looking for more photos of this du...
"The Buttfumble Song," Starring ESPN's Mike Tirico
During last night's Monday Night Football clash in Pittsburgh, ESPN announcer Mike Tirico referred to the Buttfumble by its proper title. While analysts and and anchors have previously mentioned that great event, we can't recall ever hearing "buttfumble" spoken during a game (and a search of closed ...
Here's An Unconscious Browns Fan In The Jacksonville Parking Lot
A tipster in Jacksonville sends along this photo of a Browns fan, having been vanquished by Blake Bortles and the Jaguars and a punt to the face, lying belly-up in the Jacksonville parking lot. ...
Jesus, Have You Looked At The 76ers' Roster?
Just look at this roster. Look at it. ...