whimsy Page 5 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Now Here Is One God-Awful Way To Lose A Baseball Game
If you are the type of person who does not enjoy watching people experience self-inflicted embarrassments in public, heed these two warnings: Do not listen to this clip of an author finding out live on radio that the entire premise of her latest book is false, and do not watch this clip from yesterd...
Mike Francesa Warns That Meteorologists Are In The Pocket Of BIG TRAVEL
Memorial Day weekend is once again upon us. Americans across this great nation reserve this time for 72 somber and solitary hours spent quietly honoring the sacrifices of those who gave their lives in service of the United States Armed Forces, or alternately for several bitchin’ barbecues. Whatever ...
Biased Umpire Brazenly Interferes In Fiercely Contested Anthem Standoff
I don’t know how the Miami Marlins can possibly trust the umpire crew working their Wednesday night game against the Detroit Tigers, after this blatant display of partisanship by Fieldin Culbreth during the anthem standoff between Daniel Stumpf and Sandy Alcantara....
Bryce Harper Got These Suckers Good
Bryce Harper, fresh off reminding the baseball world that he is indeed capable of throwing the damn dick off the ball, found himself in an interesting situation during last night’s game in Chicago. After catching a fly ball and recording the final out of the sixth inning, he heard pleas from the rig...
Young Child Demonstrates Impressive Pigeon-Throwing Abilities To Confused, Scared Onlookers
Pigeons don’t have a whole lot of real-world applications outside of being the animal that Burger King probably gets the meat for their chicken nuggets from. But thanks to this adorable child, we now know that if you have quick enough hands, you can actually turn these rats with wings into temporary...
Tony La Russa Says Farewell To His Dear Friend Grumpy Cat
Grumpy Cat, the cat that went viral for looking grumpy, has died at the age of seven. The apparent cause of death was a urinary tract infection. We now turn our attention to former baseball manager Tony La Russa to see how he’s handling the news:...
Report: U.S. Navy Cracks Case Of Majestic Sky Dick
The gigantic contrail dick that graced the skies over Washington state’s Okanogan County in November 2017 was, it has long been known, the work of some number of pilots out of Naval Air Station Whidbey Island. After all, the Navy immediately apologized for the celestial dong, describing it as “unacc...
Spider-Man Interrupts Basketball Game, Runs Around And Crashes Into People Like A Dork
The PBA Philippine Cup Finals are happening this week in Quezon City, Philippines, and Game 5 of the championship series between Magnolia and San Miguel was briefly interrupted by an uncoordinated man in a Spider-Man getup. ...
Nikola Jokic Finally Triumphed Over His Archenemy The Microphone
Nikola Jokic is a man of simple desires. He wants to make cool passes, “eat good,” “watch TV show,” and be stronger than the Coke. He also wants a damn microphone that he can hold in his hand without any issues....
Nikola Jokic Explains His Body
There’s a charming feature on Nuggets superstar Nikola Jokic, who’s been thriving in his first postseason, over at ESPN today. It addresses many questions that may have been lingering in viewers’ minds. To take just a few:...
Dodgers Fan Keeps Trying To Catch Foul Balls, Keeps Throwing Food All Over The Damn Place
The undisputed highlight of last night’s game between the Dodgers and Giants, which ended up a 2-1 victory for San Francisco, was the two-part slapstick routine that one Dodgers fan performed in the stands, much to the detriment of his wallet, his appetite, and all the people around him....
Bar-Hopping Easter Bunny Takes No Prisoners In Brutal Orlando Street Fight
Easter is not just a time to be reminded of Jesus’s miraculous resurrection by the stirring comeback win of Tiger Woods at Augusta. It is also apparently a time for the Easter Bunny to jump into a street fight with bad intentions and land heavy blows on one of the participants, as apparently happene...
The Sports Highlight Of The Day Is This Scottish Dog's Soccer Mastery
There are many dogs out there in the world who can fetch, or can, say, run after a kicked soccer ball and pounce on it while their owner yells, “Look, she’s playing soccer!” None of those dogs are nearly as cool as this Scottish pooch:...
Time For Lunch. The Grill Is Hot.
Why would former baseball player Preston Wilson quote himself about what is possibly the biggest tomahawk ribeye he’s ever seen? Let him explain:...
Sure, Here's Dwight Howard Singing "Get Low" At Karaoke
To the windowww, to the wall. Dwight should stick to basketball....
Nikola Jokic Showed Gary Harris How To Soothe His Bashed Testicles
While Jamal Murray was catching fire late in the fourth quarter and leading the Nuggets to a dramatic playoff win over the Spurs, his teammates, Nikola Jokic and Gary Harris, were dealing with a separate problem....
There's A Lot Going On In This Jason Vargas Interview
Everyone’s eyes will naturally be drawn to the colonial-seeming fellow sliding into the background of Saturday’s postgame scrum for Mets pitcher Jason Vargas. Fine, that’s understandable. This blog will get to him shortly, but there are other things to appreciate here, too....
Caron Butler's New Hair Freaked Out His Kids
Caron Butler went on national television with a brand new head of hair on Saturday like nobody was going to notice, but people certainly did....
Bryson DeChambeau Foiled By Dumbass Stupid Flagstick And Dumbass Stupid Hole
Bryson DeChambeau leads the field after shooting six under par in the opening round of The Masters. Despite this, he has as much reason as anybody to feel bitter about how the course treated him on Thursday....
In His Fifth Appearance Of The Season, Trevor Rosenthal Finally Recorded An Out
If you haven’t spent all of your pity on walking tragedy Chris Davis, whose hitless streak reached 50 at-bats last night, spare some for Nationals reliever Trevor Rosenthal. After missing an entire season to Tommy John surgery and getting released by the Cardinals, Rosenthal landed in Washington thi...