whimsy Page 4 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Murray State Only Discovered Ja Morant Because A Coach On A Recruiting Trip Decided To Go For A Snack
By now you’re probably aware that Ja Morant, one of the top players heading into this year’s NBA Draft, was not the most heralded prospect coming out of high school. Though he averaged 27 points, eight rebounds and eight assists through his junior and senior years, he wasn’t ranked on any recruiting...
Drake Had Three Weeks To Workshop His Next Promo, And This Is What He Came Up With
The last time we did this, Drake had descended from his stage in the heart of Toronto—why does Drake get a stage? Why doesn’t he watch the game among the rest of the fans?—to tell us that Raptors fans are very good at following the rules. The performance left some clear opportunities for improvement...
Is There Artistic Merit In This Painting Of A-Rod Sitting On His Toilet? An Investigation
The picture of former Yankees third baseman Alex Rodriguez sitting on his expensive, curtain-less Manhattan loo has become such a powerful cultural image that a tipster sent us a painting of it....
Competitive Musical Chairs Is New York's Friendliest Contact Sport
While holding up the remains of a wooden chair that had just been smashed to pieces, a woman yelled, “I got a splinter in my butt!” A referee wearing black and white stripes hustled over with a new chair and placed it on the grass, reconstituting the circle of chairs that was just broken. An impatie...
Here's The Sports Highlight Of The Day
Although this video’s a nice callback to the first entry for Sports Highlight of the Day, it also blazes its own trail. There’s a man doing pushups, while a rascally dog thrusts like it’s never thrusted before....
Brewers Utility Man Hernán Pérez Pitches Delightful, YouTube-Inspired 1-2-3 Inning
Normally I would not ask you to pay attention to a late half-inning in a 16–0 June blowout, where pretty much by definition nothing that happens matters in the slightest. This is no normal half-inning! First of all the pitcher is Brewers utility man Hernán Pérez, making his second appearance on the ...
Fake Steve Berthiaume Twitter Account Leads To Random Family Crashing Diamondbacks' Booth During Game
Arizona Diamondbacks broadcaster Steve Berthiaume doesn’t use Twitter, but someone on the site is pretending to be him. The account @BertDbacks is clearly fake—and also rude—but it convinced a family of D-Backs fans that they could come visit the Fox Sports Arizona booth during Thursday’s game again...
Draymond Green Wants It Known That He Did <i>Not</i> Scuffle With Drake
Raptors super fan and legendary cornball Drake was an unusually subdued presence during Game 1 of the NBA Finals in Toronto, perhaps because he got a stern talking-to from the league. But, with an assist from a salty Draymond Green, Drake still managed to deliver another meme-able moment after the f...
Deserve's Got Nothing To Do With It When Adults Lose Their Minds Over A Foul Ball
Foul ball and dinger retrieval rights shouldn’t necessarily be decided by merit. The most qualified person in a given section to score a game ball is generally going to be an adult with a baseball glove and a disconcertingly high threshold for self-humiliation. By contrast, the least qualified perso...
Tim Tebow Chooses To Watch, Stand Fast In The Faith, And Strike Out Looking Against Position Player
When we last checked in with Tim Tebow, he was preparing for professional life full of Triple-A baseball and a personal life full of matrimonial sex. Tebow and his fiancée still haven’t officially tied the knot, so the sex is still on hold, as is the progress of his baseball career. Tebow has been e...
Antonio Brown's Unkempt Pittsburgh Lawn Is A Boon To Mother Nature, You Jerks
Mercurial superstar and occasional dick Antonio Brown was granted his trade request by the Pittsburgh Steelers and shipped to the Oakland Raiders back in early March. NFL football being the year-round occupation that it is, Brown is long gone and already participating in optional offseason workouts ...
Gabrielle Union Needed To Tell Dwyane Wade That Milk Doesn't Cost $20
After years of scheduled practices, workouts, and games, the unstructured life of retirement can be a shock for any professional athlete who decides to hang it up for the last time at the end of their season. But for some, the shock of adjusting to everyday life doesn’t have to be a bad thing, as D...
Mike Francesa Warns That Meteorologists Are In The Pocket Of BIG TRAVEL
Memorial Day weekend is once again upon us. Americans across this great nation reserve this time for 72 somber and solitary hours spent quietly honoring the sacrifices of those who gave their lives in service of the United States Armed Forces, or alternately for several bitchin’ barbecues. Whatever ...
Biased Umpire Brazenly Interferes In Fiercely Contested Anthem Standoff
I don’t know how the Miami Marlins can possibly trust the umpire crew working their Wednesday night game against the Detroit Tigers, after this blatant display of partisanship by Fieldin Culbreth during the anthem standoff between Daniel Stumpf and Sandy Alcantara....
Bryce Harper Got These Suckers Good
Bryce Harper, fresh off reminding the baseball world that he is indeed capable of throwing the damn dick off the ball, found himself in an interesting situation during last night’s game in Chicago. After catching a fly ball and recording the final out of the sixth inning, he heard pleas from the rig...
Young Child Demonstrates Impressive Pigeon-Throwing Abilities To Confused, Scared Onlookers
Pigeons don’t have a whole lot of real-world applications outside of being the animal that Burger King probably gets the meat for their chicken nuggets from. But thanks to this adorable child, we now know that if you have quick enough hands, you can actually turn these rats with wings into temporary...
Tony La Russa Says Farewell To His Dear Friend Grumpy Cat
Grumpy Cat, the cat that went viral for looking grumpy, has died at the age of seven. The apparent cause of death was a urinary tract infection. We now turn our attention to former baseball manager Tony La Russa to see how he’s handling the news:...
Report: U.S. Navy Cracks Case Of Majestic Sky Dick
The gigantic contrail dick that graced the skies over Washington state’s Okanogan County in November 2017 was, it has long been known, the work of some number of pilots out of Naval Air Station Whidbey Island. After all, the Navy immediately apologized for the celestial dong, describing it as “unacc...
Spider-Man Interrupts Basketball Game, Runs Around And Crashes Into People Like A Dork
The PBA Philippine Cup Finals are happening this week in Quezon City, Philippines, and Game 5 of the championship series between Magnolia and San Miguel was briefly interrupted by an uncoordinated man in a Spider-Man getup. ...